Wednesday, December 27, 2017

New Evidence That the Fix Is In: Vikings to Win Super Bowl LII

According to newly released documents from WikiLeaks, the Minnesota Vikings will not only be participating in the Super Bowl, they are slated to pull off the largest upset win in Super Bowl history, directly in front of their hometown fans in Super Bowl LII. *

A series of emails between NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell and several owners debating how to respond to Brian Tuohy's accusations in The Fix Is In has now come to light. In one revealing memo Goodell declares he's "dazed and confused" by the accusations, while simultaneously he's unsure how to deep six a voice recording that's been floating around the Internet that has him laughing at the fortune he and his cronies will rake in when the Vikings run the table.

In another stolen email, Vikings chairman and owner Zygi Wilf has alleged that Goodell "promised" a Vikings victory, saying that "the NFL owes it to Vikings" after so many years of heartbreak. Wilf sent an email to 90-year-old former head coach Bud Grant requesting his presence at U.S. Bank Stadium on February 4. Grant replied that when the Vikings win he will strip to the waist and march around the stadium carrying the trophy "even if it kills me." (It was not clear from the email whether Grant mean he would walk around inside the stadium with the trophy or outside around the perimeter.)

IN OTHER NEWS the Minnesota Handoff Video has been released, with at least two shots from Duluth. WooHoo! Governor Dayton, the Bob Dylan Mural, Sid Hartman, the Jolly Green Giant, Austin Spam Museum and Bud Grant all make appearances as well, along with a host of other characters and Minnesota landmarks.




* EdNote: The WikiLeaks story is Fake News... but a Vikings win would make a good story. And the Minnesota Handoff Video is real.
   EdNote 2: The Super Bowl trophy image, logo and all NFL branded images inside the video are sole property of the NFL.

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