Throwback Thursday: Chicken Soup for the Ripped Off Person's Soul

ORIGINALLY POSTED ARIL 2008

He blew into town with the media winds at his back, a big smile on his face and the promise of riches for all. His name was Mark Victor Hansen, co-author of the highly successful Chicken Soup series of books. Though it was purportedly a leadership seminar, he was actually promoting his newest book, The One Minute Millionaire. Yes, you can have it all.

The following article first appeared in Duluth's Reader Weekly, November 7, 2002. It was my take on a motivational speaker whom I would tar as a scam artist. But what is motivating me to reprint it here is a statement he made while flapping his gums about the greatness of mankind and what we can achieve if we pull together and put our minds to it. He said one project he was organizing, that would amaze the world, would be painting the Great Wall of China by 2008. He pointed out that the Great Wall was the only man made structure on earth visible from outer space. It would be a huge undertaking to paint this but it would be accomplished because, golly gee whiz, we're so great we can do anything.

Well, I've been waiting. So far, gathering an army of people to paint the Great Wall of China has not yet made the news, and I have a feeling that if Hansen is talking about it at all, it will be something he tells his audiences will happen in 2015. He would likely be surprised that someone in his Duluth audience actually took notes to hold him accountable for what he says.

I realize that some people will feel I'm being harsh when I say these things. Hansen's books have encouraged and entertained a lot of people. Frankly, it could be argued that the money-changers in the Temple in New Testament times were helping people, too.

Anyways, here's my story.... a bit long for blogging, I know. I'll try not to make a habit of it.

CHICKEN SOUP FOR THE RIPPED OFF PERSON’S SOUL

By Ed Newman

In October 2002 I had the privilege of witnessing the most audacious display of shameless hucksterism. In case you missed it, Mark Victor Hansen was in town, guest lecturer for the Leadership Series of The College of St. Scholastica. For those unfamiliar with Mr. Hansen, he is co-author of the spectacularly successful Chicken Soup for the Soul series.

The three hour talk purported to be a success seminar for entrepreneurs and leaders. In actuality, it was little more than a three hour sales pitch a la Simon Sez. Half the audience appeared to be happily under his spell.

Affable and boisterous, he laughed almost continuously. He peppered his remarks with fragments of actual information, though he seldom cited sources and seemed utterly unconcerned about whether any of the pieces hung together.

On one level, the talk was a fast paced jabber of name dropping and braggadocio. If being rich is good because you can help others, being super-rich is even better because you can brag about it. His lifestyle requires him to earn two million dollars a year, he told us. He also let us know how he and his partner Jack Canfield are in the Guinness Book of World Records for the speed at which they produce and sell books.

The guy’s technique was typical of the standard flim flam con artist. How many times did he “almost” tell the price of these books that were supposedly worth $167 dollars? But hold on a second! He told us his signature will be worth more than the price we pay for the books because his good buddy Red Skelton said his autograph is worth eight hundred dollars, and “I’m going to be more famous than Red,” he implied. Do the math. Pay one hundred today, get the guy’s signature because he’s in town, and we walk away more than seven hundred dollars ahead. Plus we get to keep the books!

In twenty years of attending professional seminars, I can’t think of a single one where you pay nearly seventy dollars to attend and get no written materials, no notebook, nothing. That’s because this guy was not interested in giving anything. That would be an expense. The lesson is that to get rich you eliminate expenses and just take the money.

Wait, he did give us something. It was a thirty day tattoo which we could wear to promote his books. Hmmm. (Tap someone on the arm and say, “Got it?”)

Hansen’s fast talking style was straight from the carnival. He made outrageous statements with such rapidity that your mind couldn’t keep up to analyze them. At one point he said that for every one hundred dollars that we sent to his amazing money machine (in the form of buying his books) his organization would send $250 to eliminate third world hunger.

Someone asked why they don’t end poverty here in America first and he mocked her. That’s right. He made a face and belittled her. It was embarrassing and shameful.

He could do that because the crowd was on his side, the side of truth and illumination. But wait, not only was the crowd on his side, God was on his side, too. God wants us all to be shamelessly rich. The Bible says so, Hansen said. Look at Jesus. Why would the first disciple he converted be a tax collector if Jesus didn’t have money? Jesus was rich like Mr. Hansen, right? Jesus needed an accountant. 

BOTTOM LINE

In other words, this whole Leadership event was a big scam. What’s unfortunate is that a lot of innocent believing people are left in the wake of jokers like this, still hurting, confused by what they experienced because much of what he said was not entirely bad. But how do you apply it? The message doesn’t hold up to critical analysis.

In the past I have written about the gullibility of our times and American superficiality. This guy plays it like a master. The more I thought about it, the more stewed I got because a lot of earnest, trusting people paid hard earned cash to be there. 225 paid attendees times $69.... That’s over fifteen thousand dollars for three hours work. No wonder he was laughing continuously.

The next day I was curious how the sponsors of the event felt. Did Marcia Doty feel used because he took some personal information about her and stroked her in front of the whole crowd as part of the pitch he was putting on? Did the other media people feel they had been taken?

That’s how good this guy was. He completely sold out of his books. And everyone seemed happy. That just never happened before, I was told. He’s turning the whole world into One Minute Millionaires. Hallelujah.

In the old days these snake oil salesmen were tarred and feathered.

Ernest Hemingway once wrote, “The writer who laughs all the way to the bank is crying inside.” This guy is laughing all the way to the bank, for sure. And it appears he’s not crying inside, which means he is either (a) not a writer, or (b) absolutely devoid of conscience.

Somehow, I can’t escape the feeling that we were witnesses to a tragedy and didn’t even know it.

POSTSCRIPT

If your thoughts and feelings were similar to those expressed in this article, please email them to ennyman3@gmail.com. If we gather 101 stories, we will publish a book. The profits will be shared with the authors.

7 Inspirational Quotes for Mid-September

This afternoon, I was sifting through 19 years of blog posts to assemble all those that mustered groups of quotes on various topics -- friends, design, writing, advertising, loneliness, purpose, etc.-- or by various people -- Twain, Goethe, Dave Barry, etc.  

I came across a few sets that I've yet to publish, hence the seven pearls you can ponder here.

"What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals."
– Goethe

“Being defeated is often a temporary condition. Giving up is what makes it permanent.”
— Marilyn Vos Savant

“If you want your life to be a magnificent story, then begin by realizing that you are the author and everyday you have the opportunity to write a new page.”
– Mark Houlahan

“The harder you work, the luckier you get.”
-- Gary Player

"Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal."
– Henry Ford

"Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there."
– Will Rogers

"When I hear somebody sigh, ‘Life is hard,’ I am always tempted to ask, ‘Compared to what?'"
-- Sydney Harris

* * * 

Uprooted: Part Five -- After Nazi Liberation, The Soviets Return

The tension had been continuous during that period of hell under the Soviet occupation. Though the Western powers never recognized Soviet authority over the Baltic states, the peoples themselves were powerless to do anything about it; so, too, the rest of Europe. In the summer of 1941 the German Reich flexed its muscles. Hitler made Stalin his target and sent the German army marching East. The United States remained neutral, and watched idly from the distance.

During the period Estonia had been under Soviet control, arrests, disappearances and deportations had changed the country. Then the war took a new turn. On June 22, 1941, Germany invaded the Soviet Union. The German offensive, called Operation Barbarossa, extended from the Baltic Sea to the Black Sea. Estonia lay directly in its path.

 

Only a few weeks earlier Soviet authorities had carried out teir mass deportations throughout Estonia. Against that background, many Estonians initially welcomed the approaching Germans. After a year of Soviet rule, they saw Germany's arrival as a restoration of Estonian independence.

 

Fighting had already begun inside the country. Thousands of Estonians took up arms against Soviet forces. Many became known as the Forest Brothers. Operating from forests and rural areas, these partisans attacked Soviet units and fought the destruction battalions that were attempting to maintain Soviet control as the Red Army withdrew. In some parts of southern Estonia, Estonian fighters drove out Soviet forces even before German troops arrived.

 

The German 18th Army entered southern Estonia in July and moved north. Soviet forces retreated toward Tallinn, destroying property and infrastructure as they withdrew. On August 28, 1941, German forces captured Tallinn.

 

For many Estonians, the departure of the Soviets appeared to be liberation. It would not be that simple. The Soviet occupation was ending. A German occupation was beginning.

 

In June, when the Soviet army retreated, so too did many of Estonia's Jewish families. Ralph might not have noticed except that a co-worker named Leo failed to show up for his shift at the distillery. The following day his absence began to cause a stir. When Ralph sought details he obtained the curt reply, "He's Jewish"

On another occasion Ralph had made arrangements to meet someone at the railroad yard. It was quite late and he expected everythng to be desolate. To his surprise there were Nazi soldiers ushering long lines of people into cattle cars. Though he initially failed to grasp the significance of what he was seeing, over time it would become increasingly self-evident that the Nazis were not the "good guys" either.

Once again the people of the Baltics were subjugated by a new regime, a new landlord with new rules. The initial response by many was jubilation. The Nazis were liberators. The dark cloud of Soviet oppression had been lifted. But this sentiment was not shared by all. 

THE SOVIETS RETURN

Like many Estonians, Ralph had mixed feelings when the Germans drove Soviet forces out of the country in 1941. He did not welcome German occupation, but after a year under Stalin, he considered it preferable to Soviet rule.

Estonia was still occupied, and the war continued around it. Some Estonian men went to Finland to fight alongside the Finns against the Soviet Union. Others remained at home, knowing that if Germany lost the war, the Red Army would probably return.

Ralph joined the Estonian National Guard. Many of the men serving with him had lost family members during the Soviet occupation. Ralph had lost his brother Karl and his closest friend Mutti. He had no desire to see the Soviets return. His damaged leg had never stopped him from bicycling or skiing. He wasn't going to let it keep him from serving.

1944, soldiers strive to block the Red Army's retur. 

By 1944, the war had turned against Germany. German forces were retreating across the Eastern Front, and the Red Army was advancing into the Baltic states. 

In September, Ralph was serving with his unit east of Tallinn when rumors began circulating that the Russians were approaching. Soldiers were accustomed to rumors. Some were true; others were propaganda or simply wrong. Ralph tried not to pay much attention, but the reports kept coming.

The Estonian units had been operating alongside German forces. One morning during the third week of September, Ralph was standing near the German headquarters tent when he overheard a major speaking to his officers. Because Ralph understood German, he learned that the Red Army was indeed approaching. The Germans had been ordered to withdraw, leaving the Estonian units behind to delay the Soviet advance.

Ralph understood what that meant. With the Germans leaving, the Estonians were expected to stay, and die fighting. This was the second time knowing another language saved his life.

When the major and his officers went inside the tent, Ralph saw the major's motorcycle nearby, hopped on it and drove away.

Ralph headed for his mother's home outside Tallinn, avoiding the main roads when he could and following trails through fields and woods. He had made a decision to leave Estonia. But first he wanted to fetch his mother.

---

Ralph was not alone in his desire to flee. As the Red Army approached in September 1944, tens of thousands of Estonians fled their country. It's been estimated that 10 percent of the people fled that week. Many headed for the coast, hoping to find passage across the Baltic Sea. Others headed south and west, into Latvia and Lithuania.

When Ralph reached home, he told Ida they had to leave.

She refused.

“I'm too old, Ralph,” she said. “I can't start again somewhere new.”

Ralph pleaded with her. Then he went to the barn, brought out a horse and wagon, and pulled it up behind the house. Finally, Ida began packing. They loaded clothing and whatever else they could take into the wagon.

Suddenly Soviet aircraft appeared overhead. The planes began strafing the area. Ralph held the horse while his mother ran back into the house. An explosion nearby shook the building.

“Mother! To the shelter!”

Their shelter was little more than a hole in the backyard with an old door laid across the top. Ida climbed inside. Ralph pulled branches and shrubs over the opening and climbed in after her.

Almost immediately someone began pounding on the door above them.

“Open up! Come out!”

The voice was German.

Ralph climbed out and found a young German soldier pointing a rifle at him. With the sound of more aircraft approaching, the soldier turned and ran.

“Macht schnell!” he shouted as he disappeared.

Ralph went back to the wagon and untied the horse. He helped Ida onto the seat and told her to take the back roads toward Tallinn. They would try to find a boat and get out of Estonia.

Still wearing his uniform, Ralph climbed back onto the German major's motorcycle and rode ahead. He checked the roads, then doubled back periodically to make sure his mother was still coming.

The Red Army was behind them. Ahead was Tallinn and, Ralph hoped, a boat across the Baltic. They didn't know whether there would be one.

CONTINUED

RELATED

UPROOTED: Intro and Part One

UPROOTED: Part Two

UPROOTED: Part Three
UPROOTED: Part Four

Uprooted: The Ralph Kand Story, Part Four -- Family, Finns and Potatoes

During the months Karl was in hiding, Estonia continued to change. Banks were closed or taken over. Churches were restricted. Prominent people were arrested. Statues and portraits of Lenin and Stalin appeared in public buildings, along with Soviet flags bearing the hammer and sickle. 

One night the following spring, Ralph's cousin Uno came to the house with a message.

Karl wanted to see Ralph.

 

Late that night Ralph and Uno took a train to the home of an uncle, where Karl had been hiding in a crawl space beneath the house. Karl had decided to turn himself in. He wanted to say goodbye. After that night, Ralph never saw his brother again.

 

* * * 

Ralph also told me a story about the origin of his family name.

 

Estonia had spent much of its history under the control of larger powers. By the beginning of the nineteenth century, Estonia was part of the Russian Empire, while much of the land remained controlled by Baltic German landlords.

 

According to the story passed down in Ralph's family, Estonian peasants did not commonly have surnames. When surnames were assigned, German landlords or officials sometimes chose names based on occupations, places or personal characteristics.

 

One of Ralph's ancestors was known as a particularly stubborn man who resisted those in authority. He was given the name Kand, which Ralph said meant the root or base of a tree stump—something firmly planted and difficult to move.

 

Ralph said this ancestor later took part in an uprising against the German landlords. Men involved in the revolt were severely punished, and some were killed. According to Ralph, that man was his great-great-grandfather.

 

Whether every detail had survived the generations exactly as it happened, I could not know. But Ralph knew the story well, and he was proud of the name. Kand meant something that would not easily be moved.

 

* * * 

The Kand home stood in a lightly populated area outside Tallinn. Before the Soviet occupation, Sunday dinners often brought together cousins, aunts, uncles and friends.

Ralph's cousin Uno was a regular visitor. So was Ludi, the older brother of Eitzi. Ralph had first met Eitzi through Ludi, who was one of Karl's closest friends. Karl and Ludi had joined the police force together in 1938.

 

Now Karl and Ludi were gone. So were Eitzi and Mutti. Most days the house belonged to Ralph and his mother. Ralph's father had died several years earlier. Estonia had been independent for barely two decades when the Red Army arrived, and daily life was changing quickly.

 

Ralph and Karl had kept a radio hidden upstairs under a bed. At night they would listen to the BBC for news from outside Estonia. Soviet-controlled newspapers and radio could not provide the information they wanted.

 

They followed reports about the war in Finland. The Soviet Union had invaded Finland in November 1939, beginning what became known as the Winter War. The fighting interested young Estonians for an obvious reason. Finland was a small neighboring country fighting the same power that was tightening its control over Estonia.

Some young men left the Baltic region to help the Finns. Ralph and Karl talked about doing the same. Their mother put an end to the idea and they stayed home.

 

After Karl disappeared, Uno sometimes joined Ralph in listening to the radio.

On one occasion, before Karl surrendered, the NKVD again surrounded the Kand house and came inside looking for him.

 

They knew Karl might be armed. The radio was playing upstairs. Ralph realized they had not turned it off. The NKVD men moved rapidly through the house with their pistols drawn. Ralph stood listening to their boots on the floor and the sound of the radio upstairs. The men searched the house but did not find Karl. Then they left.

 

Afterward Ida said something Ralph remembered for the rest of his life.

“Did you see their eyes?” she asked. “They were as scared of us as we were of them.”

Ralph hadn't noticed. He had been too frightened himself. His mother had.

* * * 

Potatoes were a regular part of the Kand family's meals, and Ralph had become a fussy eater. His mother often scolded him for leaving the potato skins on his plate. Ralph didn't like them. His mother told him to eat them anyway. Before the war was over, Ralph would remember those potato peelings for a very different reason.

 

Ralph also remembered an argument during one of the family gatherings before Karl, Mutti and Eitzi disappeared. Mutti wanted to know why Estonia had allowed itself to be occupied without fighting. The question had become harder for him to accept after watching what was happening in Finland.

 

“I want to know why we didn't fight,” Mutti said. “The Finns are fighting to the death. Estonia simply surrendered.”

 

“Mutti, Estonia has no army,” Karl replied. “What could we do? Our leaders did what they felt was best.”

 

“What kind of army does Finland have?” Mutti answered. “They will fight and they will stay free.”

 

Ida interrupted them. “Boys, you don't know what you're saying. Do all young men think fighting and dying will fix everything?”

 

CONTINUES

RELATED

UPROOTED: Intro and Part One

UPROOTED: Part Two

UPROOTED: Part Three

 

Uprooted: The Ralph Kand Story, Part Three -- Darkness Sets In

Ralph lived with his mother, Ida, and his brother Karl in Rahumäe, a suburb of Tallinn. The Soviets had made it illegal for citizens to own radios and listen to foreign broadcasts, but Ralph and Karl, like many Estonians, secretly kept a radio so they could hear news from outside the country. The newspapers could no longer be trusted. They carried what the Communist authorities wanted people to read.

At first, the Soviet presence was mostly visible through military bases and soldiers. Before long, arrests and disappearances became part of daily life. As a policeman, Karl sometimes witnessed them firsthand.

 

Darkness at noon,

One day he was riding his horse along a narrow street in Tallinn when he noticed a man, woman and young boy walking along the sidewalk. A large black car followed slowly behind them. A window was open, and someone inside was calling to the man. The family kept walking.

 

The car pulled ahead and stopped at the curb. Two men got out. One carried a pistol.

Karl urged his horse toward them, but by the time he arrived, the woman had been struck with the butt of the pistol and knocked to the ground. The man was forced into the car at gunpoint and driven away. The men were secret police.

 

Incidents like this were taking place throughout Estonia.

 

Ralph and Mutti were best friends, but they were also rivals for Eitzi. Both were in love with her. That spring, Mutti and Eitzi announced that they were getting married. Ralph was happy for them, although he wondered whether he would ever find someone like Eitzi. The wedding was planned for the end of June.

 

Then came June 14

After the Soviet occupation and annexation of Estonia in 1940, the NKVD prepared lists of so-called “anti-Soviet,” “socially dangerous,” and “kulak” elements and their families—politicians, officers, civil servants, farmers, intellectuals, and others.In the night and early hours of 13–14 June 1941, squads woke people, read a decree, gave them little time to pack (often an hour or less), confiscated property, and trucked them to rail stations. Tens of thousands were loaded into freight/cattle cars. Men were often separated from women and children. The operation ran across the country at once. (See "Sea of Tears" Memorial.)

Ralph said that during the night, the NKVD went from house to house throughout Estonia, arresting and deporting thousands of people. By morning, families across Tallinn were discovering that husbands, fathers, wives, mothers and children had been taken away. The streets were filled with wailing for lost loved ones. Mutti was among them. There would be no wedding.

 

Eitzi's family had relatives in Sweden and arranged for her to leave Estonia. Within a short time she was gone as well. Ralph had lost his two closest friends. He never saw either of them again.

 

As Soviet control tightened, Ralph heard more stories about people being taken away by the NKVD. His mother worried about both of her sons. Karl tried to reassure her that Ralph was probably safe because of his damaged leg.

 

Karl knew that his own position was different. As a policeman, he believed he might eventually be arrested. He began sleeping in different places rather than returning home every night.

 

Ralph made an important distinction when he told me about this period. He did not remember ordinary Russian soldiers as the people Estonians feared most. Soldiers could be seen at stores, parks and dance halls. It was the NKVD they feared. The secret police were the ones who came looking for people.

 

Eventually they began arresting Estonian police officers. The first arrests took place at police barracks and headquarters in Tallinn. Karl was not there when the arrests began.

When he learned what was happening, he went into hiding. He did not tell Ralph or his mother where he was.

 

Ralph never knew exactly why the police were being arrested. He assumed one reason was that they were armed and therefore represented a possible source of resistance.

A few days later, shortly after supper, Ralph and Ida were sitting at the table talking about Karl when two vehicles stopped outside their house. There was a knock at the door.

 

Before anyone could answer, about half a dozen NKVD men in civilian clothes and greatcoats entered the house with pistols drawn. Ralph and his mother were forced against the wall. Ralph felt the barrel of a pistol pressed into his ribs. From his mother's expression, he could tell that a gun was being held against her as well.

 

Then Ralph heard something else. The radio was playing upstairs. He knew they could be arrested if the NKVD discovered it. The men searched the house. Two went outside with flashlights while others searched the rooms. Two remained with Ralph and Ida.

Their leader questioned Ralph about Karl.

 

“You know where he is, don't you?”

 

“No, I don't know,” Ralph said. “And I don't want to know.”

 

“I don't believe you.”

 

The questioning continued, but eventually the officer ordered his men to leave.

Before going, he turned to Ida.

 

“When you hear from your son, tell him his country, Mother Russia, needs him. If he turns himself in, everything will be fine.” Then he added, “Otherwise, when we find him, he'll be shot like the rest.”

Story Links

Uprooted, Part Two.

Uprooted, Part One and Intro

Uprooted: The Ralph Kand Story, Part Two -- The Day It All Broke Open

Another of the early stories Ralph told me took place during the Soviet occupation of Estonia. On September 28, 1939, Adolf Hitler and Joseph Stalin signed an agreement that divided much of Eastern Europe into German and Soviet spheres of influence. The following month, Estonia was forced to accept Soviet military bases on its territory. In June 1940, Soviet forces occupied the country.

At first, Ralph said, daily life continued much as before. There were incidents and signs of what was coming, but then things broke open in July, on the day of a soccer match between Estonia and Latvia, one of the biggest sporting events of the year.

 

Tallinn Stadium was filled to capacity. Ralph was there with his two best friends, Eitsi and Mutti. Eitsi was twenty years old, with long dark hair. Ralph remembered Mutti as tall, handsome and somewhat vain.

 

With less than two minutes remaining, Estonia led 1–0. Displaying the Estonian flag had been prohibited, but someone had secretly distributed small flags throughout the stadium. As the clock ran down, a Soviet army band began assembling at one end of the field. Latvia was attacking in the final seconds. The crowd began counting down.

Five! Four! Three! Two! One! The gun went off.

 

Suddenly thousands of Estonian flags appeared throughout the stadium—blue, black and white. At the same time, the Soviet army band hurried onto the field and began setting up. Ralph remembered the conductor as a short, heavyset man who waved his baton as the musicians scrambled into position.

 

Then the Estonians began singing their national anthem.

 

The Soviet band began playing “The Internationale,” but the crowd drowned them out. The red-faced conductor motioned for his musicians to play louder. The crowd responded by singing louder. Ralph remembered the scene as both funny and sad. Eventually, he said, the band could hardly be heard.

 

Estonia's president Konstantin Päts had been placed under Soviet control, and the demonstration did not end at the stadium. People poured into the streets and began marching toward the presidential residence.

 

At the front of the procession, marchers carried Kristjan Palusalu on their shoulders. Palusalu was a national hero who had won gold medals in both Greco-Roman and freestyle heavyweight wrestling at the 1936 Berlin Olympics. Ralph was near the front of the march.

 

The demonstrators did not know that Soviet troops were waiting ahead with machine guns. A fence separated the marchers from the presidential grounds. When the crowd reached it, some people moved toward the fence and tried to get across. Then the shooting began.

 

Ralph had never heard automatic weapons fired before. People scattered. He took cover behind a tree and became separated from Eitsi and Mutti.

 

The crowds retreated into the streets of Tallinn, but the demonstration continued. The city's main streets filled with people shouting, singing and protesting. The Soviets ordered the Estonian police to disperse them.

 

Ralph's brother Carl, a mounted police officer in his mid-twenties, was among those sent into the streets. According to Ralph, the Estonian police made little effort to break up the demonstration. Instead, people surrounded the mounted officers. Some grabbed the horses by the legs and tried to lift them while shouting: “Long live the Estonian police! Long live the Estonian police!”

 

The fire department was called next. Fire trucks moved slowly through the streets with orders to hose down the demonstrators. The firemen wouldn’t turn on the hoses.

Finally, Soviet tanks were sent into the streets. People moved aside as the tanks approached, allowing them to pass, then closed ranks again behind them.

 

“They were only sent to frighten us,” Ralph told me. The tanks did not fire.

UPROOTED: Intro & Part One