Sunday, December 20, 2015

More Dave Barry Quotes

OK today's blog post: Dave Barry quotes. I'd like to begin with an apology to Mr. Barry because I actually have some friends who don't know who he is. I feel very bad about this because I think everybody should know he is. If you do not know who Dave Barry is, I encourage you to ask Siri.

Yesterday I was feeling a little depressed and while listening to a book on philosophy the writer was discussing existential author John Paul Sartre. Well… let's just say I switched my audiobook to Live Right and Find Happiness (Although Beer Is Much Faster) and almost immediately I was considerably happier. In fact, I was smiling within minutes. Because I want other people to be happy I thought it may be helpful to post a few Dave Barry quotes here by way of introduction.

EdNote: I was not paid to write this.

“The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status, or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we all believe that we are above-average drivers.”
― Dave Barry

“If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be 'meetings.”
― Dave Barry

“It is a well-documented fact that guys will not ask for directions. This is a biological thing. This is why it takes several million sperm cells... to locate a female egg, despite the fact that the egg is, relative to them, the size of Wisconsin.”
― Dave Barry

“Your hand and your mouth agreed many years ago that, as far as chocolate is concerned, there is no need to involve your brain.”
 ― Dave Barry

“Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects. ”
― Dave Barry

“Don't you wish you had a job like mine? All you have to do is think up a certain number of words! Plus, you can repeat words! And they don't even have to be true!”
 ― Dave Barry

“Scientists tell us that the fastest animal in the world, with a speed of 120 mph, is a cow dropped out of a helicopter.”
 ― Dave Barry

“All of us are born with a set of instinctive fears - of falling, of the dark, of lobsters, of falling on lobsters in the dark, of speaking before a Rotary Club, and of the words "Some Assembly Required".”
 ― Dave Barry

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Click here for a list of Barry books available at Amazon.

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