Usain Bolt and the Heaviest Place On Earth

"God made me fast. And when I run, I feel His pleasure."
~Eric Liddell

Laird Cunningham is an artist, storyteller, MK* and Bible school dropout, born and raised in Papua, New Guinea where his parents did Bible translation work. Our paths crossed at an art opening this summer at the AICHO** downtown here in Duluth. Having known more missionaries than the average person, I thought it would be interesting to pick his brain a little so I suggested that we go over to Pizza Luce for a little something to accompany the finger food we'd eaten at the opening.

The Rio Olympics' closing ceremonies were on the tube in the bar area where we ended up because the restaurant was filled due to an event happening that weekend. Laird told me he was 26 though he hardly looked eighteen and was carded when we ordered drinks. The pizza took forever, so he ordered a second while I was still sipping my first. By the time our pie arrived he'd become quite loquacious.

He said there was nothing more thrilling than the Olympics, though International Soccer did score a close second. He had an affinity for all things global. His second big interest was the supernatural. Not God, per se, as I might have expected. Rather, he was drawn to things that defy science, that break the rules of nature, the supernatural and extra-ordinary.

Just as he was saying these things the announcer on TV mentioned Usain Bolt, the phenomenal runner from Jamaica who captured three gold medals and set a new world record as the "world's fastest human." Laird paused, then looked straight at me and said, "I met him."

"Met who?" He could have been referring to the announcer.

"Usain Bolt. He was training in New Guinea."

Bolt is from Jamaica so I thought this guy was being funny, or had had too much to drink. But the former MK insisted he was serious.

Anyways, here's what he told me. There's a place southwest of the _______ Bay (I missed the name) within a half day's journey from where his parent's lived/worked/did Bible translation -- he promised to email me this information, but never did, or at least hasn't yet -- where the gravity is heavier than normal. It's a region not much larger than a football stadium, a large disc-shaped clearing in the middle of nowhere. The terrain is perfectly flat except for the objects that can be seen scattered over it, which I will describe shortly. A flimsy, bright green grass grew over the perimeter.

It's very spooky because when you look across you can see this circle of bones, mostly animal bones but human skeletal remains as well. What causes this is that the closer one goes toward the epicenter, the heavier the gravitational pull. Animals that go too near end up collapsing, unable to lift themselves to leave the place where they lay. Carnivores, drawn to the decaying animals, end up collapsing if they go beyond a certain point. It's weird. Birds of prey seduced by the easy pickings end up flattened against the surface. This has probably been going on for centuries.

"My parents said that about 25 years ago researchers from somewhere in Europe had been here. They, my parents, were concerned about the region being disrupted by someone publishing scholarly papers about the effect, thereby attracting civilization's curious, disruptive influence, but after the scientists left nothing ever came of it," Laird said. "Then, about ten years ago, someone came up with the strange idea that there might be something useful that could come of this. They drilled a well, outside the clearing, and built several small barracks-like structures. Something like a running track was built all the way 'round the outside. I was still living there are the time, very curious to see what would happen next. Then the runners showed up. They were from Jamaica, which seemed odd to me, but my father said there had been some connection between one of the researchers and these people from the Caribbean.

"One of these runners was Usain Bolt. There were only a few who had come, and most of these were uncomfortable with this high gravity training center. A few were totally terrified and refused to even stay. Bolt was not like these. His eyes were brightened by it.

"The way things worked, the closer one got to the center, the greater the pull, so Bolt was doing 100 yard sprints as a 400 pound man. On the outer edges, naturally. At the Olympic Games the talking heads kept repeating how effortless it all appeared when Bolt ran. That's because it really was nearly effortless. He won his first gold medal in Beijing, and -- so I have been told -- has been returning regularly to this remote training center to renew his strength."

As the evening wore on Laird told several other stories about his parents and the strange tribal customs of primitive peoples they worked with. He also talked about his art -- he said he paints -- at which point we exchanged email addresses so I could interview him here and share some of his work, influenced in part by his childhood experiences, including an encounter with a black leopard that he believed was trying to communicate with him.

I first wrote about Usain Bolt here in 2008. Now we know the rest of the story.


* Missionary Kid
** American Indian Community Housing Organization 
*** Robert Ripley evidently wrote about this unusual gravitational phenomenon in the early 1920's

Lightning Bolt

All the world's a stage, they say, but for the moment the Olympic Games are the main stage where all eyes are turned. Many remarkable athletes have come into the limelight thus far this past week. Michael Phelps is a story that has gotten plenty of attention. But last night, I just saw Jamaica's Usain Bolt run the men’s 100 meter dash semifinal and I've never seen anything like it. The guy literally appeared to be lackadaisical as he loped to one hundredth of a second from a new Olympic record. OK, so he already owns the world record, so who cares, right?

The irony of a 100 meter dash runner named Bolt is readily amusing. When the starter’s gun fired the runners lunged forward as you would expect, but Bolt seemed to be hardly moving. The other guys burst off the blocks and he just bopped along. I realize he was probably exerting himself, but you sure couldn’t tell from the footage. Did the Jamaican even break a sweat? [Note: After this was written, Bolt did go on to set a new world record in the final, breaking his previous record by three hundredths of a second, easily.]

The 100 meter dash is historically equated with the moniker “World’s Fastest Human.” There was a time when twelve seconds was a world record for the men’s 100 meter dash. I remember when Bob Hayes set the record at ten seconds back in 1964, a breath taking clip. No sooner had Hayes taken gold, he was drafted by the Dallas Cowboys as a receiver. Turns out he had good hands, too, which made him an asset.

Four years later a fellow named Hines took the title, and broke the ten second mark by a tenth of a second. Even superathlete Carl Lewis, who took gold medals in two Olympics, never bested Hines. It wasn’t until 1996 that this Olympic record fell, to Canadian Donovan Bailey. But I don’t ever recall any of these guys making it look so easy. As Bolt pranced past the field, he wasn’t looking ahead at the tape, he was looking around to see how everyone else was doing.

I’m not sure what the ideal height and weight is for a sprinter. I do know Bolt is a big guy, six foot five inches. But there are lots of big guys in the world. How did this one get so quick?

Anyways, it was fun seeing him run. It was supposed to be a race. It turns out to have been no contest. He’s one of a kind, I think. Age 21, a Tiger Woods of the sprinter set. We’ll have to keep an eye on this one.

Good luck, kid. Enjoy your new super hero status.