Woman Killed in Rare Flying Eggplant Incident Off Florida Coast

WEST PALM BEACH, Fla. — A woman was fatally struck by a flying eggplant while boating off the coast of West Palm Beach on Friday, marking the first known death caused by an eggplant in Florida, authorities said. The incident has intensified debates over the rising number of eggplant-related assaults in the state.

Allison Nichols, 34, was traveling at approximately 50 mph in a boat when she was hit in the head by the airborne vegetable, causing fatal head trauma, according to the Palm Beach County Sheriff’s Office. She was pronounced dead at the scene.
Dr. Eldon Hoffman, an environmental advocate, called the incident a tragic accident, emphasizing that eggplants are typically non-aggressive. “It was a case of wrong place, wrong time,” Hoffman said. “Eggplants are gentle by nature, and these incidents are rare.”
Reports of eggplant attacks have surged in recent years. In Dade County, annual assaults averaged 1.4 from 1990 to 2000, but in 2007, 47 incidents were reported in Dade and over 60 in the Tampa Bay area, according to local records. The cause of the increase remains unclear, prompting calls for further research.
Hoffman, who grows eggplants on his hobby farm near Orlando, is urging state lawmakers to fund studies to investigate the phenomenon. He criticized media outlets for downplaying the issue to protect Florida’s tourism industry. “Greater awareness could secure the resources needed to understand why this is happening,” he said.Critics, however, argue Hoffman’s defense of the vegetable is excessive. Local residents have often dismissed him as eccentric, citing his farm’s unusual mix of eggplants, couch potatoes, and small rodents.
The Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission is reviewing the incident but has not announced specific measures to address the growing eggplant concerns.
There were reports of a protest Tuesday night a protest regarding the rapidly growing eggplant population in Tampa Bay. Authorities used drones and other forms of high tech surveillance to keep violence to a minimum. There were only four arrests and one injured officer. Nevertheless, many who were present complained about the lack of coverage from mainstream media. Carson Collins, a retired plumber from Ohio, said, "This is a pretty big story. Why isn't it being picked up on CNN or Fox? It makes you wonder whatever threats that we're unaware of."
In light of the increased anxiety regarding the safety of both the eggplant population and community residents, Governor Walz has declared Minnesota a sanctuary state for eggplants that feel at risk, wherever they come from. "We spread our arms and open our wallets for you," he announced in a press statement.

Photo Caption: An eggplant rests on the roof of a home near Sun City, Florida, amid growing reports of eggplant-related assaults in the state.

New Game Show: "I Have An Opinion"

"I have an opinion"

In case you missed it, there was a short-lived game show introduced a couple years ago called "I Have An Opinion." Here's how the game worked. 

Like Jeopardy there are three contestants who each stand at a kiosk facing the host. To the left of the host is a table where two experts are seated. The table is at an angle that allows them to face both the players and the audience. 

To the left of this table there is a second table where a panel of three critics is seated.

The game begins with the two experts discussing the pros and cons of a contemporary issue. During the discussion a bell rings whereupon the host asks the contestants, "Do you have an opinion?" 

Contestants who choose to express an opinion push a buzzer and respond, beginning with the phrase "I have an opinion." 

Both the live audience and the viewers at home are given an opportunity to vote on the opinion. Thumbs down means the person gets publicly vilified and humiliated by the critics.

The producers of the show initially created the game as a means to teach the public that every issue is nuanced and nothing is really black and white, the focus being on the experts debating each issue. It was meant to be edutainment. Like most such efforts to educate while entertaining, ratings were in the gutter. 

However, when they noticed that people were re-posting the vilification scenes on social media, the producers rigged the audience reactions so that everyone who expressed an opinion of any kind would get the thumbs down and thus berated, denigrated, belittled and abused. Ratings went through the roof as contestants suffered personal attacks and even threats on their families.

Lawsuits followed after the two or three suicide incidents and one contestant's house was razed. Eventually the only contestants they could get for the show were masochists. This was not quite as much fun as seeing innocents becoming unglued.

Many of the show's reviewers nevertheless called the brutality "magnificent." You can still find fans watching reruns on the two channels that stream it.