Recipe for Nervous Breakdown Soufflé

While rummaging through old folders (am on another cleaning binge) I came across this recipe I'd forgotten about. If you try it, let me know what you think.

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Nervous Breakdown Soufflé

calum-lewis-vA1L1jRTM70-unsplash

Ingredients: 

One case of Neurotic Pride

2 cups Basic Anxiety

1 fistful Self-Reproach 

1/2 teaspoon Self-Doubt Extract 

A dash of Legitimate Shortcomings 

One ounce Self-Hate 

One can Deep Depression 

A pinch of Sharp Criticism

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Directions:

Peel and dice Neurotic Pride. Mash pulp with fork. Strain and set aside.

In large container, combine Basic Anxiety, Guilt, and Self-Reproach. Blend in Self-Doubt Extract and Shortcomings. Agitate.

Add Self-Hate and Neurotic Pride. Stir until completely mixed up.

Simmer for one year in an atmosphere of intimidation and fault finding.

Slowly stir in Deep Depression. Bring mixture to a rapid boil.

Ignite with a pinch of Sharp Criticism. 

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Serve with spilt milk, burnt toast, or sour grapes. 

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If you liked this, then check out my Recipe for a Disaster

The Butler Who Folds His Hands Spills No Tea

Photo by Nashad Abdu on Unsplash

In the late 70s, when I was in Bible school, I worked two years in a factory which made pop-up camper trailers. This was one of the ways the school remained self-sufficient. It also enabled students to attend with virtually no tuition. We probably learned as many lessons in the factory as we did in the classroom. It was from Cliff Dahlen, a teacher in the school and one of the foremen there, that I learned a couple invaluable lessons about praise and criticism that are with me to this day. 

People chafe under criticism. As a rule of thumb, therefore, supervisors should praise ten times more often than give criticism. If we do that, Cliff explained, the criticism will be more palatable. 

The psychology behind this idea is profound. If we praise more than criticize, the workers under us will more likely feel that we are on their side. They won't see us as adversaries. Nor will they hide their mistakes for fear of being chewed out.

And that is another thing. Isn't it true that too often the only reason some people people explode is because they've reached the boiling point and snapped? If we look for the good in others, and encourage frequently, we'll be less afraid of giving critical advice when it's needed. Criticism should be measured, with the aim being to help. It should not be due to our own short fuse or lack of self control.

Still one more lesson from Cliff: praise publicly, criticize privately. 

If criticism stings, public criticism stings fivefold. It's bad enough to make a mistake. Being called out in front of others is humiliating. And it seldom accomplishes what one intends. 

In my article 9 Maxims That Carried Me Through Three Decades in Corporate America I shared this axiom: The Butler Who Folds His Hands Spills No Tea. The idea behind that saying should be self-evident. Too much criticism has consequences. When people are repeatedly dumped on, they're being coerced into behavior that minimizes the pain caused by this pummeling. The goal becomes "avoid pain" rather than "how much can we accomplish today".

Some work environments are so toxic that there is never any praise for a job well done, but plenty of grilling when a mistake occurs. When managers give all their attention to finding a scapegoat, employees quickly learn to cover their tracks and wipe off their fingerprints. 

The unintentional end result is an incentive for people to do nothing. Only by doing nothing can workers be assured of no mistakes.

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A quick final note. Your praise and appreciation has to be authentic. If it's not, your team will see it for what it really is and lose respect for you as a leader. If you don't mean it, don't say it. 

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Related Links
State of the Workforce Gallup Study: Medicine to Make America Great Again
How Engaged Are Your Employees: The 12 Questions Gallup Researchers Ask
The Best Job-Hunting Book Ever: What Color Is Your Parachute?

Bibliography of Criticism of Public Schools and Colleges

One of the books on my bookshelf is a little volume from 1922 called Free Thought and Official Propaganda by Bertrand Russell. It is an first printing of the Crowley Memorial Lecture that Mr. Russell gave on 24 March 1922 at the South Place Institute. 

I was prompted to review the book because of the widespread influence of "cancel culture" that has been occurring in public discourse. It's interesting that Mr. Russell recognized early on, more than two decades before Orwell's 1984 made waves, that there is a tendency to pressure people to conform to certain ideas. The pressure comes in a variety of forms, and it is unhealthy. 

That, however, is not the subject of this blog post. On the empty page that precedes the title page of this little book someone penned a list with the heading Bibliography of Criticism of Public Schools and Colleges. 

The other night I searched online to see if I could find any of these volumes. The answer is that most are quite hard to find or too expensive to consider purchasing in order to quench my curiosity. Nevertheless, I did take notes, did a little cut and paste work so that others, if interested, could get a feel for some of the attitudes toward public education about a century ago.

Here's what I found.

The Goose-Step
Upton Sinclair (1923)
It is an investigation into the consequences of plutocratic capitalist control of American colleges and universities. Sinclair writes, “Our educational system is not a public service, but an instrument of special privilege; its purpose is not to further the welfare of mankind, but merely to keep America capitalist."

"I talked with another professor at Chicago, who does not want his name used. I asked him what he thought about the status of his profession, and he gave the best description of academic freedom in America that I have yet come upon. He said, 'We are good cows; we stand quietly in our stanchions, and give down our milk at regular hours. We are free, because we have no desire to do anything but what we are told we ought to do. And we die of premature senility.'" (p. 247)

University Control
J.M. Cattell (1913)

This work has been selected by scholars as being culturally important, and is part of the knowledge base of civilization as we know it.

https://books.google.com/books/about/University_Control.html?id=FJTewwEACAAJ

Cattell remains famous for his contributions in intelligence testing, as well as his work on individual differences in perception and reaction times.

Like many eminent scientists and scholars of the time, Cattell's thought was influenced by belief in eugenics, defined as the "applied science or the bio-social movement which advocates the use of practices aimed at improving the genetic composition of a population, usually referring to human populations."^[6] Cattell's belief in eugenics was heavily influenced by the research of Charles Darwin, whose theory of evolution motivated Cattell's emphasis on studying “the psychology of individual differences”.

Free Thought and Official Propaganda
Bertrand Russell

Of this I plan to write at least one or two future blog posts on aspects of the book.

The Goslings
Upton Sinclair
https://www.amazon.com/Goslings-Study-American-Schools/dp/1162796359

Cicero Brian wrote: Socialist Upton Sinclair penned this withering critique of government (a.k.a. "public") schools in the early 1920s. He realized, as Hitler, the Jesuits, and any else interested in controlling or influencing a society does, that schools are where the young clay is molded. Perhaps the best review of it was written by the great the libertarian intellect H.L. Mencken in the April, 1924 issue of The American Mercury (url: [...]). He recommended the book heartily, noting that it "presents an engrossing, instructive, and, if allowance be made for the author's indignation, highly amusing record of chicanery and imbecility--a vast chronicle of wasted money, peanut politics and false pretenses," but pointing out a serious flaw, "an erroneous assumption" from which "springs... a great deal of false reasoning and vain indignation." (Read about that flaw from Mencken himself.)

Many people, including yours truly, have long researched and warned about the conspiracy that has long gripped the American education system; among them, John Taylor Gatto is arguably the single most valuable. Named NY City Teacher of the Year in 1989, 1990, and 1991, and NY State Teacher of the Year in 1991, he gradually realized that our schools were doing more harm than good. Having the ear of the top education officials in the nation because he rubbed elbows with them, he initially assumed his ideas for improving the schools would be welcome. When he found out that they weren't, Gatto quickly realized that our schools were not, as he had naively assumed, broken; they were working as designed. He quit teaching in 1991 and has been waging guerrilla warfare on gov't schooling ever since. 

Humanizing Education
Samuel Schmalheusen

https://www.nytimes.com/1927/11/06/archives/indicting-education-humanizing-education-by-samuel-d-schmalhausen.html

Summary of review: https://www.pep-web.org/document.php?id=ijp.008.0441a

The Law of the Jungle Chap IX ff
Coburn Allen

https://gulokywymyzuku.hotseattleseahawksjerseys.com/law-of-the-jungle-book-26675jm.php

The Higher Learning in America
Thorsten Veblen (1926)

Probably the best-known fact about The Higher Learning in America by Thorstein Veblen (1857-1929) is that the author’s original subtitle for it was “A Study in Total Depravity.” By the time the book finally appeared in print in 1918, the wording had been changed to “A Memorandum on the Conduct of Universities by Business Men,” which gives the reader a clearer sense of the contents, albeit at a considerable loss in piquancy.

https://www.insidehighered.com/views/2015/04/15/review-thorstein-veblen-higher-learning-america-first-annotated-edition

What’s Wrong with American Education
David Snedden (1927)

https://web.stanford.edu/~dlabaree/publications/How_Dewey_Lost.pdf

Many of the battles in education today are the same ones faced a century ago. 

The Education of Henry Adams
Henry Adams

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Education_of_Henry_Adams

The Education of Henry Adams is an autobiography that records the struggle of Bostonian Henry Adams (1838–1918), in his later years, to come to terms with the dawning 20th century, so different from the world of his youth. It is also a sharp critique of 19th-century educational theory and practice. In 1907, Adams began privately circulating copies of a limited edition printed at his own expense. Commercial publication of the book had to await its author's 1918 death, whereupon it won the 1919 Pulitzer Prize. The Modern Library placed it first in a list of the top 100 English-language nonfiction books of the 20th century.

What Is and What Might Be
Edmond Holmes (1911)

http://www.educationengland.org.uk/documents/holmes/

The Standardization of Error
Vilhjalmur Stefansson

This thin tome is a seminal work on how we humans tend to cloud up topics of interest with utterly innane 'facts,' and how the folks who do so are like the proverbial ostrich with its head in the sand, a behavior *never* observed in Nature.

Nonetheless, the allusion has progressed to an extremely useful rhetorical 'shorthand" of sorts, that far transcends its untruthful beginnings. A VERY good read, which will take you years to fully 'grok.'

Fads & Fallacies in Present Day Education
H. E. Bucholtz

https://www.questia.com/library/594271/fads-and-fallacies-in-present-day-education

Learning to Deal with Criticism

This past fall I was asked to write something about how to deal with criticism. It's something we must all confront at one time or another if we live and interact in the real world. Sometimes it hurts because we ourselves are overly sensitive. Sometimes it hurts because it hits the mark. And sometimes, its unjust and uncalled for.

My brother Ron recently published an article dealing with this issue. I asked permission to share it here.

GUEST POST
Dr. Ronald Newman

Seeking Balance When Coping With Criticism

You will be criticized. How do you handle that feedback from others when it is critical of you in some way? Politicians have to develop a thick skin in order to survive public scrutiny, as do leaders of all types, whether in the church or community. How we handle criticism will have a profound impact on our future, so here are a few tips for making it a more positive experience.

1) Begin with a secure sense of yourself. This requires self-acceptance which comes from knowing who you are, and your values, desires, and goals. From this foundation, criticism can be examined more objectively. In this way, you can remain positive and confident through the process of self-examination.

2) Listen intently. The critics in your life are saying something. What is it? Tune into the feelings and content of their message. What are they afraid of, or angry about? Listen as objectively and without defensiveness as possible. You are seeking to truly hear what is being said.

3) Accept that you are not perfect. We all have flaws, including habits we ourselves do not like. At least be open with yourself about these areas for improvement.

4) Discern constructive versus destructive criticism. If the intention of the criticizer is simply to tear you down, you may find it difficult to find the beneficial elements of the feedback. When negative comments simply fuel your "inner critic," take a step back and evaluate their words more carefully, in a non-judgmental manner.

5) See criticism as an opportunity for growth. It can actually keep you balanced, as others may be giving you objective feedback on how to improve in some area of your life. Feedback can produce positive change. Allow the objective truth in the criticism to feed the voice of your inner coach.

6) Seek truth objectively. Engage the rational part of your mind, which can be difficult when our emotions are crying "foul" and we feel hurt by the external critic.

7) Respond with understanding. Communicate that you hear and see the truths contained in the criticism. Sometimes this means only agreeing in part or in principle, or saying you will reflect on their feedback if you think the criticism is unfounded or only partially true.

8) Accept responsibility. If the feedback is true and accurate, accept responsibility for it. No excuses. It is not about image. It is about your heart and personal growth. You can even thank the person for the feedback, if it is clear their desire was to benefit you.

9) Apologize when appropriate. This can help repair a relationship, especially if an unintended hurt has occurred. While apology communicates the desire to improve a relationship, it should be done thoughtfully, in a manner that tunes in to the feelings and perceived offense to your critic.

10) Learn assertiveness. The temptation to respond in angry ways, whether by being aggressive or passive aggressive (such as by criticizing people behind their backs through gossip), can be an opportunity to exercise self-control by learning new assertive habits. You can correct misconceptions directly or set stronger boundaries on inappropriate criticism. You can also work on the forgiveness process. In this way, you take the higher road and can be more at peace, even when reflecting or responding to criticism.

Ronald S. Newman, Ph.D. is a practicing psychologist at the Lakeview Professional Center on Route 30 in South Jersey. He can be contacted directly at write2balance [AT] gmail dot com.

The Writing Life: What Do E.B. White and General Robert E. Lee Have In Common?

Six weeks ago I wrote about a lecture series I was listening to about building great sentences in which the lecturer, Professor Brooks Landon, takes a few jabs at Strunk and White's classic volume, The Elements of Style. Prof. Landon's comments were striking because I can't recall anyone ever having dared to criticize this miniature catechism on writing, as if it were a sacred text.

Evidently the tide has changed because  yesterday this story landed on my feed: Why E.B. White Was Wrong About (Some of) the Elements of Style. The subtitle of A.L. Kennedy's article, which begins with a fab Dorothy Parker quote, is Lovers of the Passive Voice Unite. Kennedy's piece is a good read, but the takeaway for me was that it's O.K. to knock over sacred cows.

The critical review of Elements brought to mind a Washington Post article I'd read about General Robert E. Lee earlier this spring, "The truth about Confederate Gen. Robert E. Lee: He wasn’t very good at his job." Even though the South lost the war, this mortal man was so elevated in stature that no one dared say an unkind word about his "greatness" and leadership, even a century after the war had ended. But in 1969 a University of South Carolina professor broke from the herd, daring to write an article in Civil War History attacking the revered general.

The criticism didn't end there, as others came forward, emboldened as it were, to question the historical aura that surrounded the great man.

In today's era of immediacy and transparency where people can throw Twitter-tantrums read by millions and log complaints on Yelp about bad service in a restaurant in Bora Bora, this book has garnered its share of prickly comments on Amazon.com. It's open season, as they say. Here's a comment by one reader whose handle is Pax Romana:

It is hard to even judge the helpfulness of the content of the book due to the subjective nature of the tips provided. Many of these tips are even quite obvious, such as the famous statement to "omit needless words". How ever would I have figured that out? The author even admits that many of these rules can be broken in proper moments, and master writers disregard the rules occasionally to their advantage. Because of this, it seems that simply reading from the masters would be immeasurably more helpful than this manual.

Félix Marqués, another reviewer, wrote, It has some great bits on sentence logic, but for the most part it's fussy, outdated, obsessively close-minded or all of it at the same time.

Hmmm. Outdated? The book is so young.

I suppose there was a time when King James English was being challenged and it's defenders complained that if we stop saying thee and thou, the entire culture will be awash in informality that spirals down into debauchery. I dunno. There are probably places one could find out, if one knew where to look or cared that much.

Lest I give a wrong impression, there are far more positive reviewers than bashers. If one wishes to be a basher, let's bash the schools that are sending kids to college who still do not know how to write. The situation has become appalling. No child has been left behind because they keep being pushed p the ladder, despite their incompetence in these basic skills.

Here's an excerpt representative of some of the positive reviews, by JboneCA:

This book can easily double your proficiency in English composition. There are exhaustive books and multi-volume sets that will delve into the peculiarities and nuances of the English language, whereas this one will give you the essentials. Strunk and White do have some opponents in the finer points of English usage, but for the most part this is an accepted primer on the subject....

It really should be handed out to anyone planning on attending university. Too many of today's students are awful writers, and it's simply because they haven't been taught. This can help.

Well, all this is one reason I published a book on writing, or rather, how to teach writing. Writing, like math, is one of the essential skills. People who write well will have more opportunities than those who cannot. You do not have to know what a gerund is in order to communicate, but it does help to know how to turn a singular noun into a plural, or how to express coordinate ideas in a similar form.

Alas. Happy Thursday.

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General Lee photo Source: The Library of Congress