My Dad Called Me Stupid In Front of My Friends and I Wasn't Scarred for Life

The event took place in the evening of a lovely summer day. Mr. McAvoy was driving a carload of boys home from a Little League game in his gold convertible with the top down. This was the 60's and no one had seatbelts. Some of us were seated across the top of the back seat with our team T-shirts and hats. I was one of these, on the driver's side, the lazy breeze whooshing across our faces. 

I can still picture my dad in the middle of the Christianson's front lawn, arms folded, feet planted shoulder width as he chatted with the neighbors. Off to the right of the driveway Robin Christianson, a girl I liked, looking our way with a couple of friends. 

As the car slowed to make a right hand turn onto Cambridge Lane, I noticed the speedometer slow to about ten miles per hour. Somehow I got it into my head that if I leapt from the car and started moving my legs I could actually hit the ground running and run right up to Robin and her friends. 

Wrong.

I will mention here that though the road was paved with asphalt there was also a lot of large limestone gravel scattered in the gutter area of the road bed. As my body slammed into the pavement, the limestone tore my finger and gouged my forearm. Stunned, it seemed that everything was silent for a second. Time had stopped, as did Mr. McAvoy's car. 

It was then that I heard my dad's voice thunder through the air as he came running across the yard: "You stupid!"

I didn't feel any pain in my body at that moment as he lifted me up and began walking me across the street to our house. We went into the family room bathroom and he cleaned my wounds, but the humiliation was harder to clean. 

He was right, of course. Eventually, years later, I recognized that I needed to forgive him for making me feel small in front of my friends. And I did. 

For the record, if you ever feel tempted to leap from a moving car, don't. Generally it only works in the movies. I got lucky. Some people get killed.

* * * 

I have written about this story before in a blog post about the Darwin Awards. If interested, you can read that here.

In passing I mention the story here as well: Seven Quotes About Stupidity

ALTERNATE TITLE: My Dad Called Me Stupid in Front of My Friends and I Lived to Tell About It.

Is Our Insanely Picky Government Overreach Driving Us Bananas?

THROWBACK THURSDAY

This story was originally published in June 2009

Woody Allen's films have always been distinctive. His early films reveal a clever eccentric whose unexpected juxtapositions make it impossible not to laugh. In his 1971 film Bananas, the early scene with Howard Cosell announcing a presidential assassination in a Latin American banana republic, as if it were an Ali fight, is so over the top... it works. I'm smiling as I write this because it's still hilarious as I replay it in my mind. 

There are, of course, many memorable scenes in that film with favorites that include the courtroom spoofs and the guerrillas in training. 

In this blog note wanted to draw attention to an unforgettable scene late in the film where the revolutionaries have overthrown the arbitrary rule of the dictators. All the citizens have been lined up to hear the new rules announced. One of these new rules is the requirement that everyone must regularly change their underwear. "To enforce this rule everyone will be required to wear their underwear on the outside." 

 

"Just checking to make sure you have your underwear on."

So it was with great amusement that I read an Associated Press story last night about a new law passed in Brooksville, Fla.... Workers Must Wear Underwear. Evidently when this story crossed the wire it turned many others' heads as well because a quick Google search shows more than 300 newspaper editors have picked up the account.
 
I sort of understand dress codes in the work place. But this story underscores the problems that ensue when legislators attempt to turn common sense into laws, regulations or codes. In this instance, city workers are required to use deodorant. How, might we ask, will this be enforced? If you are digging ditches and it's ninety degrees in the shade with 100% humidity, is there a sweat-meter that will measure if your underarms are sufficiently schlocked with Right Guard. I can see a great PR campaign here... "Right Guard keeps city employees out of jail with a free Xtreme Clear Power Gel Arctic Refresh."
 
But that underwear clause is what has me confused. Who will be the enforcer? Will all men have to keep their flies open so we can see that they are properly suited for work? Apparently Bananas was more relevant than we realized.

* * *

 

Kudos to Reason magazine for their Brickbats awards highlighting government actions that are excessively stupid, as well as all the other stories about government overreach.

Examples of other stupid laws abound. You can Google "Stupid Laws" and find a wealth of material. In Missouri it is illegal to drive with an uncaged bear in your car. In North Dakota it is illegal to serve beer and pretzels at the same time. (Probably has something to do with the animosity toward Germans in WWI.)  In NYC kids can't have a lemonade stand without a permit and it takes 4 to 6 months to get one. So much for teaching children the basics of entrepreneurship.

For the fun of it, here is a 12-page list of silly laws still on the books in our various states. 

Seven Quotes About Stupidity and a Few Examples

Yes, I have done some stupid things 
in my life. How 'bout you?

The annual Darwin Awards were initiated in 1993. The idea of the awards has been a way to spotlight examples of behavior that eliminates stupidity from the gene pool. The most spectacular examples are given Darwin Award recognition. The stories would be humorous if they weren't real. 

We've probably all done many stupid things in our lives. I know that I have. For example, I once jumped out of a moving car thinking I would impress the girl across the street. No one was impressed. Fortunately, my stupidities haven't cost me my life.

The trigger for this blog post was having recently heard the song "Something Stupid" which was a hit in the Sixties, sung as a duet by Frank Sinatra and his daughter Nancy. I was in high school and didn't really didn't "get" the meaning of the song til l I was a little further down the road.

I know we're not supposed to call other people stupid. There's a difference between being stupid and doing something stupid. People don't need lifelong labels for momentary lapses of good judgment. As I already stated, I have done my share of stupid things, and it didn't end with that jump from a convertible coming home from a Little League game.

Here are a few quotes about stupidness. Some are a little mean. Others insightful. 

Think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize half of them are stupider than that. 
— George Carlin

Life is hard. It’s a whole lot harder if you’re stupid. 
— George V. Higgins

Men are born ignorant, not stupid; they are made stupid by education. 
— Bertrand Russell

Only two things are infinite; the universe and human stupidity, and I’m not sure about the former. 
— mis-attributed to Albert Einstein

Against stupidity the gods themselves contend in vain.
 — Friedrich Schiller

“Remember, when you are dead, you do not know you are dead. It is only painful for others. The same applies when you are stupid.” 
— Ricky Gervais.

“Stupid is as stupid does.” 
— Forrest Gump

* * * 

The Darwin Awards folk tell their grim tales in a light-hearted manner. The lessons are serious, of course. Here are a few links, if you're interested.

Double Darwin Award! Sports Training

Soaked to the Bone in Yellowstone

Smokin' Hot Sauce!  

One Way Ticket

The last two above seem to show what happens when you underestimate how explosive gasoline can be. 

Mind the Cone Zone

Low Flying Drunks 

This last one has a few real life lessons for each of us. First off, beer may not always make you stupid, but drinking and stupidity do quite frequently accompany one another. Also, it's good to be aware of what you don't know. A lot of our confidence is simply a lack of awareness regarding the risks of some behaviors. Alas.

Related Link

It Happened One Night

11 Things You May Not Know About Me