In addition to being my brother for most of my life (I was two when he was born), Ron Newman is a psychologist in Mays Landing, NJ who received his PhD. at Temple University in 1990. In addition to his private practice in South Jersey he has made 26 trips to South America to train pastors and lay leaders in counseling.
Seeking Balance in a Pandemic
Currently, the Coronavirus (COVID-19) has spread around the world, influencing world leaders to take measures which have caused both healthcare and economic crises. In February, I was in Disney World enjoying time with my family. Within a few short weeks the world was in lockdown mode. Now is an appropriate time for me to summarize some key points for those of you who want to manage your own wellness and build resilience.
Pandemics increase anxiety and fear, in large part due to the uncertainty principle. We don’t know the future, thus cannot control it. Our temper can flare and emotional reactions can feel overwhelming. Some key questions to ask yourself are: What is beyond your control? What are you able to influence by choices you make? For example, you may not be able to control the news about what is happening in the world, but you can control the amount of time you spend watching it. The following suggestions can help you find balance in your life so you can think clearly and cope rationally with this pandemic.
1) Calm yourself. Practice centering and mindfulness exercises. Relax your body and calm your emotions. Simple deep breathing with long, slow breaths and progressive relaxation techniques can help. Meditative prayers and prayers of surrender can help, along with petitionary prayers.
2) Grieve as needed. Losses come in many forms, and awareness of our grief can help us work through it and find the comfort and resolution we need over time. Acceptance of your emotional experience, maintaining healthy memories, forgiveness where needed, and talking it out with a supportive person, all have their place when grieving.
3) Renew your mind. Develop healthy thinking. Hold on to hope. Avoid “awfulizing”, where we focus on how awful things are, taking our minds off those things for which we can be grateful. Avoid “learned helplessness” where we get stuck feeling vulnerable and helpless, rather than understanding what reasonable action steps we can take. This is not a time for blaming and being judgmental of ourselves or others, but rather for showing grace and working toward healthy solutions. Maintain an appropriate sense of humor, in spite of the grief that comes at times like this.
4) Solve problems creatively. Engage your reasoning and critical thinking abilities. List problems separately, so you can take the time to brainstorm creative solutions for each more fully. Be proactive, recognizing the power you do have to act. Develop and work the plans you develop addressing each problem identified.
5) Listen to authorities. Experts on the spread of the virus have given advice regarding care for yourself and others, social distancing, and even what symptoms constitute a need to be tested. While this information may change as we learn more, look to specialists for their knowledge and expertise. Good sources of information can be found through various websites, including the CDC government sites or WebMD.
6) Practice extra hygiene principles. The COVID-19 virus at present is known to be easily transmitted in a variety of ways, such as surfaces that people touch and is even airborne through coughs or sneezes. It is reasonable to wash hands for 20 seconds, to avoid touching your face, to possibly wear gloves and masks when around others, and follow other recommendations from the experts.
7) Socialize from a distance. Use this as an opportunity to connect with people via social media platforms, phone calls, or even personal conversations from six feet away. This may be with distant relatives and friends, or neighbors with whom you have little contact. We are all part of the human race, which unites us even with others whose cultures may be less familiar to us.
8) Practice physical health strategies. Sufficient sleep, nutrition and exercise are foundations for health, so consider your personal health practices. Build your immune system, strengthen your muscles, and take charge of your health. Eat less sugar and more plant-based nutrition. Walking in the woods, biking a lonely road, or hiking on a remote trail can all be positive healthy experiences for you.
9) Grow through new challenges. Fear and seeing the threats ahead, especially when health and financial crises are already present, can paralyze people and lead to unhealthy coping strategies. Turn your “threats” into “challenges” to think creatively about different options that are within your power to manage. Make specific plans for growth in different areas. Explore new ways to earn income. Read again, selecting various types of books. Write. Learn a musical instrument. Sing. Develop your spirituality. Explore your options for growth.
10) Practice mindful empathy. Care for yourself and others requires an awareness which we can call loving mindfulness. Tune in to your own struggles, emotions, and physiological sensations (such as rapid heart beat, perspiration, etc.) with compassionate acceptance. Then turn this empathy toward others. Isolation can be extremely detrimental, and crises can bring opportunities to address the needs of others. When others need food, for example, drop some off on a porch without physically handing it to them. Love your neighbor as yourself.
11) Accept changes. A “normalcy bias” leads people to think things won’t change, but will go back to things as they were in the past. This may not happen. Accept this possibility, and evaluate different potential scenarios. You can then plan for different contingencies to regain your balance in life.
12) Develop your faith. Crises often bring opportunities for spiritual growth and development for people. Explore your religious tradition more deeply. Read your Bible. Discover new ways to pray. Read the writings of spiritual leaders whom you respect. Coming to peace in this area can bring you full circle back to point #1 in this article, helping you find your equilibrium regardless of what life throws at you.
Ronald S. Newman, Ph.D. is a psychologist in Mays Landing, NJ who now does teletherapy. He can be reached by mail at: P.O. Box 2148, Vineland, NJ 08362; by email at: write2balance@gmail.com, or by phone at: 609-567-9022. His blog and other information can be accessed at: www.drronnewman.com This article originally appeared in the Hammonton Gazette April 8, 2020.
Related Links
A Good News Story: Death Estimates Shrinking
Seeking Balance When Experiencing Grief
Seeking Balance in a Pandemic
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| Dr. Ron Newman, Mays Landing, NJ |
Pandemics increase anxiety and fear, in large part due to the uncertainty principle. We don’t know the future, thus cannot control it. Our temper can flare and emotional reactions can feel overwhelming. Some key questions to ask yourself are: What is beyond your control? What are you able to influence by choices you make? For example, you may not be able to control the news about what is happening in the world, but you can control the amount of time you spend watching it. The following suggestions can help you find balance in your life so you can think clearly and cope rationally with this pandemic.
1) Calm yourself. Practice centering and mindfulness exercises. Relax your body and calm your emotions. Simple deep breathing with long, slow breaths and progressive relaxation techniques can help. Meditative prayers and prayers of surrender can help, along with petitionary prayers.
2) Grieve as needed. Losses come in many forms, and awareness of our grief can help us work through it and find the comfort and resolution we need over time. Acceptance of your emotional experience, maintaining healthy memories, forgiveness where needed, and talking it out with a supportive person, all have their place when grieving.
3) Renew your mind. Develop healthy thinking. Hold on to hope. Avoid “awfulizing”, where we focus on how awful things are, taking our minds off those things for which we can be grateful. Avoid “learned helplessness” where we get stuck feeling vulnerable and helpless, rather than understanding what reasonable action steps we can take. This is not a time for blaming and being judgmental of ourselves or others, but rather for showing grace and working toward healthy solutions. Maintain an appropriate sense of humor, in spite of the grief that comes at times like this.
4) Solve problems creatively. Engage your reasoning and critical thinking abilities. List problems separately, so you can take the time to brainstorm creative solutions for each more fully. Be proactive, recognizing the power you do have to act. Develop and work the plans you develop addressing each problem identified.
5) Listen to authorities. Experts on the spread of the virus have given advice regarding care for yourself and others, social distancing, and even what symptoms constitute a need to be tested. While this information may change as we learn more, look to specialists for their knowledge and expertise. Good sources of information can be found through various websites, including the CDC government sites or WebMD.
6) Practice extra hygiene principles. The COVID-19 virus at present is known to be easily transmitted in a variety of ways, such as surfaces that people touch and is even airborne through coughs or sneezes. It is reasonable to wash hands for 20 seconds, to avoid touching your face, to possibly wear gloves and masks when around others, and follow other recommendations from the experts.
 |
| Photo by LOGAN WEAVER on Unsplash |
8) Practice physical health strategies. Sufficient sleep, nutrition and exercise are foundations for health, so consider your personal health practices. Build your immune system, strengthen your muscles, and take charge of your health. Eat less sugar and more plant-based nutrition. Walking in the woods, biking a lonely road, or hiking on a remote trail can all be positive healthy experiences for you.
9) Grow through new challenges. Fear and seeing the threats ahead, especially when health and financial crises are already present, can paralyze people and lead to unhealthy coping strategies. Turn your “threats” into “challenges” to think creatively about different options that are within your power to manage. Make specific plans for growth in different areas. Explore new ways to earn income. Read again, selecting various types of books. Write. Learn a musical instrument. Sing. Develop your spirituality. Explore your options for growth.
10) Practice mindful empathy. Care for yourself and others requires an awareness which we can call loving mindfulness. Tune in to your own struggles, emotions, and physiological sensations (such as rapid heart beat, perspiration, etc.) with compassionate acceptance. Then turn this empathy toward others. Isolation can be extremely detrimental, and crises can bring opportunities to address the needs of others. When others need food, for example, drop some off on a porch without physically handing it to them. Love your neighbor as yourself.
11) Accept changes. A “normalcy bias” leads people to think things won’t change, but will go back to things as they were in the past. This may not happen. Accept this possibility, and evaluate different potential scenarios. You can then plan for different contingencies to regain your balance in life.
12) Develop your faith. Crises often bring opportunities for spiritual growth and development for people. Explore your religious tradition more deeply. Read your Bible. Discover new ways to pray. Read the writings of spiritual leaders whom you respect. Coming to peace in this area can bring you full circle back to point #1 in this article, helping you find your equilibrium regardless of what life throws at you.
Ronald S. Newman, Ph.D. is a psychologist in Mays Landing, NJ who now does teletherapy. He can be reached by mail at: P.O. Box 2148, Vineland, NJ 08362; by email at: write2balance@gmail.com, or by phone at: 609-567-9022. His blog and other information can be accessed at: www.drronnewman.com This article originally appeared in the Hammonton Gazette April 8, 2020.
Related Links
A Good News Story: Death Estimates Shrinking
Seeking Balance When Experiencing Grief
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