Ralph's Last Days

I met Ralph sometime around 1991 at a beach on Park Point here in Duluth. At the time, his wife was in a nursing home near there and he was living in an apartment in town that had a view of the big lake. In our first meeting I learned that he was originally from Estonia, a young man when WW2 broke out and had had a whole raft of remarkable experiences during the occupation by Stalin, the liberation by Hitler and subsequent events involving numerous close calls with the Grim Reaper. I later turned these stories into a script that was read by a Disney producer in Hollywood.

Ralph learned at that first meeting that I was a writer, upon which he replied that, "Many people have told me my life should be a book." This statement triggered a friendship that spanned many years.

At a certain point in time in the late 90s he expressed a desire to return to his homeland one last time to see the places he grew up and perhaps find some people who were still alive from those dark days. His wife had passed away and he was eager to go home

After packing all he could carry in a backpack, and a long Minnesota goodbye, Ralph left Duluth to travel home. 

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Ralph Returns

I can't recall how many months had passed when the phone call came.  The man asked if I knew someone named Ralph Kand. I said yes. The man said that Ralph was staying in a room at what is now the Casa Motel. (I can't recall what its name was at the time.) He told me that Ralph had been there about a week, but was ill and could not stay there. He was having bloody stools and needed help.

When I picked him up he was happy to see me and wanted me to take him to the Viking Motel so he could die while looking out the window at the lake. Lake Superior reminded him of his days growing up in Tallinn on the Baltic Sea. 

Instead, I spent part of a day learning about the safety nets in Duluth, how few there are and the challenges they present. 

After making calls I found a place that said it would take him, but he would have to get a checkup at the hospital first. I brought him to the hospital and went back to work. They took x-rays and did other tests but the whole process lasted till 4:00 in the afternoon so that when I called the place that said they would take him, everyone had gone home early because it was a Friday.  

Now I had to scramble. A Loaves & Fishes home for men said yes, I could bring Ralph there. When I arrived I had my doubts, even though the staff was nice enough. His bed was in an open areas almost like a hallway. It was a large house but overcrowded. Like many last ditch places, they probably have a hard time saying no. They respond to the need that is before them.

The following day, however, I received a call that said he was not suitable for their facility. He was exceedingly cantankerous, crude and uncooperative. Of this I was not entirely surprised. I went to retrieve him, wondering what to do next.

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How Ralph Ended Up Back In Duluth

A little backstory is in order here. When Ralph left Duluth to go home to Estonia he had an accident somewhere in Europe. His backpack was so heavy that at an airport in Switzerland, as he was starting up an escalator, the weight of the pack pulled him backwards and he got stuck at the bottom flailing about, unable to get up as the escalator continued upwards, jostling beneath him and he tumbled downward.

Whatever occurred after that led to his being unable to proceed to Estonia and he was sent back the United States. Instead of returning to Duluth, however, he went to the West Coast and took up residence in a homeless shelter in Portland. At some point in time there was a fire in the homeless shelter and he attempted to stay inside, hoping to burn to death. He was forced to evacuate, and with nowhere to go decided to return to Duluth.

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What Happened After Loaves & Fishes
The staff at Loaves & Fishes were sorry to evict him but the situation was already tense with other residents. I was told of another place on 3rd Street which could keep him a couple days until we found something more suitable. 

Ralph was again having issues with bloody diarrhea when I picked him up and brought him to St. Luke's Hospital for further tests. I went back to work, distracted by mulling over where I could bring him next. 

Around three in the afternoon I received a phone call saying that Ralph was standing on the sidewalk outside St. Luke's Hospital. Someone had called me to come get him. The hospital put him out the door. He had NO MONEY to take a cab. NO PHONE to call anyone. NO STRENGTH to walk anywhere. I left work to go pick him up. The doctor said there was nothing wrong with him. 

One of the places I'd brought him a couple years earlier, for a temporary place to have food and shelter, was a place called Miketin's in Gary New Duluth. I found Miketin's after Ralph's apartment at Gateway Tower downtown had had a fire. At the time I brought his furniture and valuables that were not destroyed to our garage further up the hillside.

I showed up at Miketin's with Ralph in tow and they said they had one bed available. It was a narrow room with a window and a bit of space to stand, but Ralph didn't stand. He lay there three days and died.

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Here was a man clearly dying who was put out on the street with nothing, and no help from a hospital with doctors who make hundreds of thousands of dollars. He was so weak he could not walk a half block to get anywhere. He had no money. And worst of all, they sent his hospital bill to me because I was the one who did the good deed of bringing him there.

We didn't pay his hospital bill, of course. Nor did we pay the bill the funeral home sent me. 

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Related Links

The Day It All Broke Open
Uprooted: The Ralph Kand Story (Introduction)