Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Five Minutes With David Cane, On Happiness

“If you are really thankful, what do you do? You share.” ~ W. Clement Stone

The idea of happiness is something so basic that most of us desire it without knowing why. As Americans it is even written into our national creed as one of our basic entitlements: “Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.”

The pursuit alone does not always result in happiness. That might be why there are so many books about happiness on the market. Many of them deal with our internal barriers and others offer practical tools for removing external barriers. The how of happiness, the steps to happiness, the psychology of happiness, the secrets of happiness… So when I was given a chance to review yet another book on this happy subject, The Short Book on Happiness, I took advantage of the opportunity to instead interview its author, David Cane.

Born in 1964, Mr. Cane is a graduate of The American University in Washington D.C. where he received his MBA. His life experience includes overcoming drug and alcohol addictions, unemployment, bankruptcies and other misfortunes. Like many, he knew why he was unhappy, but did not know how to find the happiness he saw others experiencing.

Today he has been a member of Alcoholics Anonymous for fifteen years and speaks routinely on the topic of addiction and recovery. It is apropos that his blogspot includes this quote from Henry Ford: “Whether you think you can, or that you can’t, you are usually right.” Everything really does start right there.

Ennyman: What was your motivation in writing this book?
DC: For me, studying and learning about happiness was never enough. I’ve read many books that I thought would help me become happier. I learned a lot, and many of the books I read were extremely well written and valuable as they related to helping me understand why I was experiencing worry, fear, and low self-esteem. What was missing, however, was a simple, short, but substantive approach that I could apply to eradicate worry, acquire more confidence, and become a happier person. My heart was always in the right place, and I knew I could achieve more in my life, and I was certainly ready to do the work, but I just could not figure out the right actions to practice.

It’s my belief that many people unwittingly procrastinate becoming happy due to spending an inordinate amount of time seeking out the reasons for their unhappiness. Too much time is spent figuring things out, and too little time is spent solving the problem. The problem, in essence, is that we have allowed our minds to become our masters, and must reclaim ownership of our minds in order to become happy.

Enny: Many people know most of these truths. Why don't they do them?
DC: That is correct. Things such as positive thought, gratitude, forgiveness, and faith are not new. I believe there are a variety of reasons why people do not practice these things and do not receive the associated benefits in their lives. These include:

~ Difficulty in sorting through the vast amount of information and differing philosophies available on these topics
~ People want a quick fix, and give up if it results don't happen fast enough
~ People know what they need to do, but don’t know how to do it to get results
~ It takes a lot of energy and commitment
~ Thinking in a new way makes you "different"
~ It takes people out of their comfort zone

Enny: In a world with so much suffering, is it right to be happy?
DC: Yes it is. I believe we deserve to be happy, and that is God’s intention for us. In fact, much of the suffering in the world is created by people who are unhappy to begin with. The more happiness there is, the less suffering there will be. People that are truly happy (i.e., have high self-esteem, are not consumed by worry and fear, and have a strong faith) are in a much better position to reduce suffering in the world.

Enny: Discontent can become a prod for motivating us to do something to make a bad situation better. (e.g. in a situation where social injustice is taking place.) Can we be both happy and discontent at the same time?
DC: Yes. In fact, a person who is truly happy understands that happiness does not mean that things around them have to be going well. That is, one can have financial difficulties, health issues, family issues caused by others, etc. and still be happy. Happiness is an “inside job” and is a reflection of how comfortable one is with who they are, not what they have, and for me starts and ends with faith in God.

Enny: Do you have a website or blog? Where can people find your book?
DC: Yes. My website is http://davidcanebooks.com/
My blog is http://thoughtharmony.blogspot.com/
My book is available through my website, as well as on amazon.com and barnes&noble.com.

Enny: The full title of the book is The Short Book on Happiness: Transform Your Life in 10 Days. Thanks, David, for the good and important work you are doing. I believe you are right regarding your observation that much suffering is created by people who are unhappy to begin with.

Be sure to check out David’s website and David's website and blogspot. For additional information on overcoming secret addictions be sure to visit my friend John Prin’s website, appropriately called True You Recovery.

2 comments:

LEWagner said...

~ People want a quick fix, and give up if it results don't happen fast enough

10 Days to Happiness is fast enough for me. In my middle-pre-senior years, here, I like to take things easier than I used to, and am not in any big rush anymore.
I AM still in dogged pursuit of happiness, though, if not literally chasing, anymore. ;>)

Ed Newman said...

Yes... I think it is a lifelong journey, a marathon, not a sprint.

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