Another Reason Why I Don't Keep A Gun In The House, a Poem by Billy Collins

Billy Collins was born in New York City in March 1941, two months before Duluth-born Bob Dylan. Collins served as U.S. Poet Laureate from 2001 to 2003. Renowned for his accessible, conversational style, Collins writes witty, observational poems that transform everyday moments—reading in a hammock, listening to jazz, or pondering ordinary objects—into profound, often humorous reflections. 

Billy Collins by Marcelo Noah (Public Domain)

I was introduced to his work through his Sailing Alone Around the Room (2001). "Another Reason Why I Don't Keep A Gun In The House" was so apt and so fun that I purchased the whole book. 

It can be argued that his career breakthrough came with Questions About Angels (1991), followed by popular collections like Picnic, Lightning (1998),  (2001), and Aimless Love (2013). 

As Laureate, he launched Poetry 180, introducing contemporary poems to high school students. Collins’s clear language and gentle irony have made him one of America’s most popular poets, bridging literary tradition with broad appeal. Evidently he continues publishing, most recently Dog Show (2025).  

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Another Reason Why I Don't Keep A Gun In The House

The neighbors' dog will not stop barking.
He is barking the same high, rhythmic bark 

that he barks every time they leave the house.
They must switch him on on their way out.

The neighbors' dog will not stop barking.

I close all the windows in the house
and put on a Beethoven symphony full blast

but I can still hear him muffled under the music,
barking, barking, barking,

and now I can see him sitting in the orchestra,
his head raised confidently as if Beethoven
had included a part for barking dog.

When the record finally ends he is still barking,

sitting there in the oboe section barking,

his eyes fixed on the conductor who is

entreating him with his baton

while the other musicians listen in respectful

silence to the famous barking dog solo,

that endless coda that first established

Beethoven as an innovative genius.

Billy Collins

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