President Pachyderm and His Pink Electric Elephants

Once upon a time in America, there was a president named President Pachyderm. President Pachyderm became famous for his outlandish ideas and love for all things pink and elephant-related. In addition, he recognized the shackles an uncooperative Congress can put in the way of a president, so he decided to run his nation by means of executive orders, a growing trend in White House governance.

Early in his second term, the President signed into law Executive Order #24315 thereby requiring every citizen to own a pink electric elephant. This decree sent shockwaves through the nation, since nearly all pink electric elephants were now being manufactured in China as a result of Executive Order 23101 which he had signed the previous year in order to balance the budget. (Up till that moment the entire pink electric elephant industry had been subsidized by taxpayer dollars.)

Political pundits and mainstream media were immediately on board with the new EO, declaring it a brilliant idea. Late night comics liked the new EO because it gave them a steady supply of new material to prop up sagging ratings. Bitter disputes broke out on the leading social media platforms as those who supported the president strove to cancel those who criticized it, and vice versa, which generated more buzz than even the ongoing war in Uzbekistan (now in its 8th year). 

Initially people were scrambling to get their hands on pink electric elephants, stores overrun with frantic customers demanding the rare and elusive creatures. Streets were filled with people parading their new companions, each one more absurdly pink and electric than the last. Many of those unable to acquire affordable pink electric elephants joined protesters blocking bridges and highways. 

As demand for pink electric elephants skyrocketed, chaos ensued. Research papers began appearing in scientific journals warning of the stress all these electric elephants were putting on the energy grid. Opponents of these ideas pressured journals to retract these papers and replace them with research extolling the virtue of pink electric elephants.

Both Democrats and Republicans crafted legislation to again fund American pink electric elephant manufacturing plants, laws that failed to pass Congress because 90 percent of this new legislation contained pork favorable to each party's constituencies.  

In the meantime, because of a shortage of resources needed to manufacture them prices soared, and soon only the wealthiest citizens could afford to purchase the coveted symbols of American Greatness. Those unable to comply with the president's decree faced hefty fines and even imprisonment. 

As a result, a countermovement ensued in which Americans began boycotting shopping malls even though they were fully stocked with pink electric elephants.

Much was being written in the media about the delays in getting the elephants from China. There was also speculation that pink electric elephants were being used to spy on Americans. Congressional hearings led to an investigation that rocked the nation. The Chinese, it turns out, were broke but had been forcing the president to pay for their weapons buildout because they had blackmail on him performing raciall yREDACTED th an electric pink elephant with cameras installed in its eyeballs.

Amidst calls for the president's impeachment, the rest of the world looked on in bewilderment. International news outlets dubbed President Pachyderm the "Pink Elephant King" and his followers the "Electric Elephants."

Despite the commotion President Pachyderm remained unfazed, convinced that his pink electric elephants were essential to national prosperity and happiness. He continued to promote his vision with fervor, even going so far as to commission giant pink electric elephant statues to be erected on both ends of the National Mall in front of the Lincoln Memorial and the Capitol.

The rest of this story is yet to be written. If we're lucky it will also be soon forgotten.

 

As for President Pachyderm, he remains as colorful and eccentric as ever, blissfully unaware of the chaos he's unleashed upon his nation. 

 

Governors, Politics and Our 50 Disunited States

Times are strange. In any number of ways 2020 has been different than any year in recent -- or distant -- memory. Besides the pandemic and the ongoing protests, riots and violence in many cities, has there ever been a time where the role of governors has been so pronounced, so in the news?

I don't think I can remember ever seeing governors in the news this much unless they were positioning themselves for a presidential run. (e.g, Jimmy Carter, Bill Clinton, Chris Christie)

Presidents have been making edicts forever. FDR's Executive Order 9066 to send Japanese Americans to internment camps is one early example. But in our 2020 this kind of edict-making power has filtered down to lower and lower levels of government. Governors are making decisions about who can and can't meet, and how many can assemble or be denied assembly. Governors are making decisions to interfere or not interfere with protesters, and to what degree. 

This power by edict has extended still further into cities making decisions about defunding police and whether plastic bags or plastic straws should be made illegal. 

In light of all this the story about Florida Governor Ron DeSantis caught my attention. This past Monday Gov. DeSantis vowed to defund cities that defund police. 

Does this mean that governors who favor defunding can make edicts to defund cities that don't defund police?

How far does this edict making go? California's governor made an edict this week saying no more gas-powered cars can be sold in California after 2035. It will be interesting to see if the infrastructure can be developed so that electric cars can be re-powered as easily as our current gas station convenience store transportation model. If the rest of the country doesn't follow suit, and gas stations close due to lack of business in 2050, will this have an effect on tourism by car if there's nowhere to refuel? How will the energy be generated to create all the extra electricity? The idealism is noteworthy. The other 49 states will learn from this experiment. 

30 years ago California decided to protect its citizens from harmful chemicals in products by requiring the top five ingredients be identified on the bottle. This transparency would protect their citizens. For many, companies, if not most, their formulas were proprietary. To address this, California created additional bureaucracy to enable companies to register their top 5 products and get codes to place on the bottle that concealed this information.

I was an in-house ad agency for a company in the screen printing industry and we had to acquire these codes and place them on the label. Not to be outdone, New Jersey followed suit. Now I had to make room for two blocks of non-identifying numbers. Shortly after, Pennsylvania made the same edict. In the interest of the people, of course. If this were to continue, there would be no room for the name of the product on the bottle because one of our products came in a bottle not much larger than 100 tablets of aspirin. What's silly is that the people still didn't know what chemicals were in the bottle.

Fortunately, wiser heads prevailed and even though Pennsylvania passed this consumer-right-to-know law, they soon notified companies selling products in that state that they would not enforce it.

Relief.

Life is complicated. Let's not make it moreso. 

Related Links
The 12 Boldest Executive Orders In History
Gov Murphy Usurps Legislative Powers with Latest Edict
Executive Powers in Times of Crisis

Photo by Massimo Virgilio on Unsplash

Can a Commitment to Lifelong Learning Be Legislated?

While net surfing last night I found myself on a page called QMAP: Executive Orders. What I found interesting, or intriguing, is how many of these initiatives get generated, but no one hears about them. Have you ever read an executive order by any president?  This page has 88 Executive Orders signed by President Trump.

This one here is about the need for more skilled workers to fill unfilled positions. A few weeks ago I read a Medium story about how fast things are changing and that to stay current one should spend an hour a day developing and honing their skills in order to stay current with technology. It resonated with me, but somehow it feels like something that must be driven from within. How do we motivate American workers to do what needs to be done to bridge the skills gap? The idea of learning skills to get a job that fills a need flies in the face of another message we repeat to our young people: Follow Your Bliss. What if what you love doing is something nobody needs or wants to pay for? What then?

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Here is a portion from one of the 88 Executive Orders on this QMAP site. As a writer I found it thoughtful, relevant and well written. Many of the others are also quite interesting. The only ones we seem to hear about in the media are the controversial ones.

Executive Order 13845 of July 19, 2018
Establishing the President's National Council for the American Worker

Section 1. Purpose. Our Nation is facing a skills crisis. There are currently more than 6.7 million unfilled jobs in the United States, and American workers, who are our country's most valuable resource, need the skills training to fill them. At the same time, the economy is changing at a rapid pace because of the technology, automation, and artificial intelligence that is shaping many industries, from manufacturing to healthcare to retail. For too long, our country's education and job training programs have prepared Americans for the economy of the past. The rapidly changing digital economy requires the United States to view education and training as encompassing more than a single period of time in a traditional classroom. We need to prepare Americans for the 21st century economy and the emerging industries of the future. We must foster an environment of lifelong learning and skills-based training, and cultivate a demand-driven approach to workforce development. My Administration will champion effective, results-driven education and training so that American students and workers can obtain the skills they need to succeed in the jobs of today and of the future.

* * * *
Sec. 7. Initial Tasks of Council. Within 180 days of the date of this order, the Council shall:
(a) develop a national campaign to raise awareness of matters considered by the Council, such as the urgency of the skills crisis; the importance of science, technology, engineering, and mathematics education; the creation of new industries and job opportunities spurred by emerging technologies, such as artificial intelligence; the nature of many careers in the trades and manufacturing; and the need for companies to invest in the training and re-training of their workers and more clearly define the skills and competencies that jobs require;

etc.

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For those interested, here's the link where you can see other kinds of things being set in motion (or intended to be) since President Trump's inauguration: QMAP: Executive Orders
If the hotlink fails, then here is the URL:  https://qmap.pub/docs