Anheuser-Busch Does It Again -- Truly Fun Commercial for the 2020 NFL Season

It's apparent that times are strange. The mask thing is just one facet of our 2020 life experience, accompanied by markers on the floor spaced six feet apart in every public space. Strangest of all, IMHO, are the cardboard fans for baseball and football, accompanied by fake crowd noise. 

What I keep thinking is, when will Hollywood make films about events in 2020 in which the characters put on masks when they go to the store? (If this has already happened let me know in the comments.) 

Scott Adams, earlier than anyone else, had Dilbert and his co-workers masked, a cutting edge on the wave one might expect to be coming. That was at least a couple months ago, and still we see no masks on Dagwood and Blondie, Zits characters, the Lockhorns, Pickles or Rex Morgan.

So it was tremendously fun to catch the new Bud Light spot this past week during my few minutes watching the Browns get shanked by Pittsburgh. I have not been watching much football this year, so maybe this was not the debut weekend for it, but it was absolute fun. There will be a link below if you haven't seen it. 

The two minute spot opens with a brief long shot showing a professional sports stadium, then cuts to the camera facing the stands, crowded with cardboard cutouts as stand-ins for fans. One of the cardboard cutouts, our hero, spots a cardboard cutout of a beer vendor. (At this point it is a world of Flat Stanleys.) He proceeds to stand and slide out to make his way there for a Bud Light. Unfortunately, there is no beer left in the beer basket.

Our hero decides to go explore. Maybe he can find a beer elsewhere under the stands. Lucky he. A forklift loaded with cases of Bud Light. As he approaches the forklift, a worker says, "Hey! Can I help you?" 

Our hero, with his usual chagrined expression, quickly hurries off. As he leaves the stadium he sees a Bud Light delivery truck parked across the street. Unfortunately, he doesn't look both ways when crossing the street (a challenge without a real neck) so that he is struck by a car. Our flat hero is flattened against the windshield of a bus. The bus driver flips him aside with the flick of a windshield wiper.

His expression never changing--a cross between bemused nobody-in-particular and hapless hero--he ends up on the street, walked on, staring skyward. Shortly after he ends up in a dumpster where suddenly, there on the side of a building, he finds inspiration once again by a giant ad for Bud Light. 

After a quick interlude in the back of a garbage truck he ends up on his feet again and continues his quest. I won't spoil the ending. To see the actual spot here's the hotlink: Cardboard Cutout Seeks to Quench His Thirst

Kudos to the ad agency that invented this story, a tall tale perfectly suited for our maddening postmodern times. 

The Case Against High School Sports

My brother is a practicing psychologist for whom the concept of balance is important. In a world with so many things out of balance, how does one find that golden mean with regard to issues such as anxiety, use of leisure time, giving, anger, industriousness, etc. There are a lot of things in life that are harmless, or can even be good, until they’re out of balance.

As I was passing through the Dayton Airport Friday I picked up the October issue of The Atlantic, in part because of Amanda Ripley’s feature highlighted on the cover, "How Sports Are Ruining High School." The story resonated with me because of a comment made by a retired teacher in our local high school district a few years ago. He said that in ten years they had not hired a new teacher who wasn’t also able to serve as an athletic coach.

Here's the intro to the article: “The United States routinely spends more tax dollars per high-school athlete than per high-school math student—unlike most countries worldwide. And we wonder why we lag in international education rankings?” How far do we lag behind? The U.S., according to Ripley, ranks 31st in international math tests.

She cites an economic study in which one public high school in the northwest was spending $328 per math student and $1,348 per cheerleader.

The article is sympathetic to the benefits of sports, including exercise, sportsmanship and perseverance, as well as school spirit. But at what price?

As school budgets get ever tighter, we see arts and music teachers being squeezed out altogether. But the marching band plays on. And taxpayers foot the bill for the stadiums they play in.

Speaking of taxpayers picking up the tab, the same issue of The Atlantic carried an excellent piece of investigative reporting on how the NFL fleeces taxpayers in all these stadium deals. Owners hold whole cities hostage unless they're willing to fork over the cash.

But we need our sports fix.

Confession: I'm a Browns fan. I also follow Major League Baseball during the playoffs. The question I'm raising is how do we find balance in all these things? Is NFL Football our modern equivalent of the Roman empire's bread and circuses?

Actually, the Bible has something to say about some of this. The author of Ecclesiastes, well aware our burdens and hardships, wrote "So I commend the enjoyment of life, because there is nothing better for a person under the sun than to eat and drink and be glad. Then joy will accompany them in their toil all the days of the life God has given them under the sun." (NIV) Or as the King James Version puts it, "Eat, drink and be merry."

The entertainment industry, of which sports is a part, does serve a purpose. There was probably an amateur stand up comedian in every village in Europe at one time. Olympic games of a sort are as old as the Greeks. I'm only trying to open a dialogue on this matter of balance.

Meantime, life goes on... all around you.

America's Team, the Cowboys

Americans love things that are big, and everything is bigger in Texas. This weekend my youngest brother and his wife flew to Dallas to watch the Dallas Cowboys face off with the Philadelphia Eagles tonight at the new, luxurious Dallas Stadium, now the largest domed stadium in the world. This very special weekend was a 50th birthday present from his wife, whom I believe is an Eagles fan.

Domed stadiums are nothing new. Minnesota Twins and Vikings fans have enjoyed their Metrodome for several decades now. Unfortunately, the weather can play havoc with Northland domes as in this morning's collapse of the Metrodome roof at 5:00 a.m., thereby sending tomorrow's Monday Night Football game to Ford Stadium in Michigan. Bummer for season ticket holders who can't make it to Detroit.

This isn't the first time the Metrodome collapsed. In 1981 Susie and I were returning from a year in Mexico when severe storms iced the Northland. We had our sights set on Minneapolis, but freezing rain turned Iowa bridges into skating rinks and we were forced to take shelter in a motel. We saw a lot of cars in the ditches that night. And the next morning we entered the Twin Cities to a scalped stadium. Ice had cut through the fabrics that shrouded the dome, leaving it shredded and sunken. Ah, but I digress.

Being a Cleveland Browns fan I took umbrage to the coining of the Cowboys as America's team. Nevertheless, you really can't fault the franchise for becoming darlings of the NFL and a fan magnet. And like most such stories, if you dig into the details you can usually find a reason or two for their uncanny success. In this case, I doubt the lion's share of the credit can be attributed to their Hall of Fame coach Tom Landry.

Landry's imprint on professional football was significant. Whenever you hear great coaches and players tell their stories, many will speak with reverence of the two acknowledged greats, Lombardi and Landry, who not only influenced how the game was played, but about the role of character and the real meaning of greatness.

In addition to two Super Bowl titles, Landry led the Cowboys to an unprecedented and unmatched twenty consecutive winning seasons. Many of his innovations in both offensive and defensive formations have become the standard in today's football.

So today, helmets off to the Dallas Cowboys and their legendary coach Thomas Wade Landry.

Tom Landry Quotes

"A winner never stops trying." ~Tom Landry

"Football is an incredible game. Sometimes it's so incredible, it's unbelievable." ~Tom Landry

"I don't believe in team motivation. I believe in getting a team prepared so it knows it will have the necessary confidence when it steps on a field and be prepared to play a good game." ~Tom Landry

"I've learned that something constructive comes from every defeat." ~Tom Landry

"If you are prepared, you will be confident, and will do the job." ~Tom Landry

"Leadership is a matter of having people look at you and gain confidence, seeing how you react. If you're in control, they're in control." ~Tom Landry

"Leadership is getting someone to do what they don't want to do, to achieve what they want to achieve." ~Tom Landry

"Right after the game, say as little as possible." ~Tom Landry

"Setting a goal is not the main thing. It is deciding how you will go about achieving it and staying with that plan." ~Tom Landry

"The secret to winning is constant, consistent management." ~Tom Landry

"Today, you have 100% of your life left." ~Tom Landry

Trivia: Tom Landry was born on my birth date, September 11 and died on my daughter’s birth date, February 12.

Hey, bro'... Enjoy the game.

For more information on this great NFL innovator.

Football Violence: How Much Is Too Much?

As anyone who's ever been a fan of football will attest, violent hits come with the turf. No defensive lineman will simply give you the yard you seek. No linebacker will let a receiver make a catch without that receiver paying a price. It's the violent hit that gives many defensive stars their ultimate satisfaction. Some hits have been so devastating that they get talked about and remembered for years. Jamal Lewis's hit on Kellen Winslow in 2008 changed the momentum of a game, receiving high praise from passionate fans.

So is this what football is about?

Yesterday while looking for something to read in the airport I picked up the current Sports Illustrated with the word CONCUSSIONS emblazoned on the cover. This issue carried a special report on the "hits that are changing the game... and the hits no one is noticing." Evidently there have been just a few too many concussions lately, and the League is stepping in to reduce the number of injuries. But this special report includes new research that shows how even the regular game play is doing brain damage, with subsequent mental slowness and early onset of dementia in many players.

Pro football has always been that way (aggressive, violent) to some extent. Many of these men see themselves as the modern equivalent of Roman gladiators. Except there are rules, and no one is forced to play/fight against his will. What does this say about the fans who watch it? To what extent is the violence part of the reason football remains the dominant spectator sport in America?

What's interesting here is that editor Terry McDonell is arguing for rules changes to make the game safer. The trigger for his speaking up was the October weekend that 12 players suffered head injuries.

One reason the hits are more damaging these days might be because the players are bigger and faster than ever. Also, they have more protective gear on so they feel protected while they are slamming their foes.

Of course football is not the only sport with a violent side. Hockey is notoriously brutal with checks and slams. High sticking is illegal, but crushing a guy into the boards is just part of the guy. A local high school student recently was hospitalized with two broken legs in a hockey game. The checking and slamming begin early. Then there's boxing, where your objective is to slug the other guy into unconsciousness. And Ultimate Fighting, where the objective is to all but kill your opponent with you bare hands.

In 1970 or thereabouts, a young black fellow in my own high school was the last defender left to stop a large fullback sprinting toward the end zone. It was not a championship game. Just another football weekend. He threw himself straight into the runner in a devastating impact that snapped his own neck and left him paralyzed for life. Was it worth it? He was trained to give is all, and he sacrificed his life... but for what?

McDonnell is concerned about what will be happening to pro football players as they damage their brains without even knowing it. Part of the problem is that the helmet itself has become a weapon. He notes that Joe Paterno suggested that we remove the full face mask and return to just having a single bar. Mike Ditka, McDonnel writes, said we would not have helmet to helmet hits if we removed helmets altogether.

This comment made me think of how we never wore pads or helmets but had solid, high contact tackle football for years with no one ever seriously hurt. (Except a broken leg once.) We tackled to tackle but not to take anyone out. We needed everyone to come back the next day so we could play again.

If you're interested in more on this topic, I'm sure you know how to find it in Google. It's a subject that won't soon go away.

Will It Always Be This Super?

A couple of us played a little game the other day at the office. He had heard there were nine quarterbacks who have won two Super Bowl rings. Who were they? Together we could only come up with eight, and then checked online to see that neither of us could remember Jim Plunkett. Kurt Warner has a chance today.

I remember the first Super Bowl, the newly formed AFL vs the veteran NFL. Bart Starr & Vince Lombardi took it to Lamar Hunt's Kansas City Chiefs, 35-10. I sat in my family room taping the game on my reel-to-reel tape recorder, keeping score on notebook paper, recording every play... and hoping Len Dawson could pull it off. No such luck. Note: A television spot cost $75,000 then.

Here's a rundown of what to expect today.

The Commercials
NBC will net $206 million dollars in commercial revenue for today's game. Average price for a thirty second spot, if you want to save your quarters for next year: 3 million. But don't kid yourself. You also need a quality spot. Average price to produce that: 2 million. How would you spend 5 million dollars if that were your money?

For some people, the commercials are the most interesting part of the game. I myself purchase a USA Today on the Friday before this event, and review the commercials so I know what to expect and what I don't want to miss. Even this activity has lost some of its luster as it has become over-hyped along with everything else associated with the big game, but I am certainly looking forward to a few of these.

The Pre-Game
Like much that passes for sport these days, it's all about the party. The evolution of the Super Bowl as a playoff game to ultra hyped circus is illustrated by the manner in which the sports channels begin 24 hours of historical reviews before the main event to get us in the mood. And NBC starts Super Bowl Party coverage before Midwest families are even home from church.

The Game
How can this game ever live up to the hype?

Halftime
It's a spectacle. This year, Bruce Springsteen and what's her name. Cost is probably somewhere in the neighborhood of Haiti's entire 2008 GNP.

The Rest of the Game
Usually it's boring. One team has clamped its teeth down hard and the other team just tries not to embarrass itself. Occasionally, like the Giants' upset over the invincible Tom Brady, there is a real game played right down to the wire. Everyone hopes for a good close game, especially those who paid 3 million dollars for a commercial that is airing after the halftime show.

Post Game
Often, if not usually, a phone call from the president congratulating the winners. My guess is that President Obama has two sets of talking points in his pocket. If the Cardinals win, he will no doubt comment on how underdogs can be winners if they never give up. If the Steelers win, well, hmmm.... some kind of comment about the best offense being a good defense? We'll find out soon enough, if you keep tuned in.

Nothing profound today. What did you expect? It's Super Bowl Sunday.

Here's a sneak preview of Miller's one second ad. Bookmark this page when you get the urge for Miller Time.

PHOTO NOTE: Bart Starr, Johnny Unitas, Bobby Layne & the Green Bay Packers. Layne was quarterback for the Steelers back in the late fifties and sixties. I was a Browns fan and the Steelers were our arch rivals. Bart Starr was the first quarterback to earn two Super Bowl rings, leading Lombardi's Packers to wins in the first and second Super Bowls.

The Goat

My senior year in high school I was quarterback for our intramural football team called The Nerds. I did not know what the name "Nerd" meant at that time, but assumed it was something dirty like one of the other teams in our league, the Galloping Gonads.

This was really the culmination of my years of street football and all the football games we played after school every day up at Hamilton School. In retrospect, I probably had more cred than I give myself credit for. As quarterback I called plays and engineered a winning season that brought us to within five yards of the intramural championship. If we won that last game, we would have been the school’s champion team.

As it turns out, we were on the five yard line with time running out. I called an option, and as I escaped the rush by moving to the left I saw Tony Ruggerio wide open in the center of the end zone. But I also saw a wide open space in front of me, inviting me to make a dash for it… which I did.

I have never been the fastest runner among my peers, and that day in the late afternoon sunlight, those five yards took a lifetime to traverse. An unsuccessful sprint I might add, because I was nailed on the two. So it is, I let everybody down with an impulsive bad decision.

Never mind that I had brought us to victory’s doorstep with a very successful year that surprised nearly all of our adversaries. (It didn’t surprise us, of course, because we’d played so many years together and fine tuned a lot of very cool timing plays.)

Ten years later I was visiting the old neighborhood. I don’t recall where it happened but I ran into Tom Dermody that day, one of the guys from our neighborhood who was on that intramural squad. His first words: “Why didn’t you throw it?” Ten years later. Not a greeting of “Hey, how are you doing? Long time no see.”

"Why didn't you throw it?" The irony is, that even with all that water under the bridge, I knew exactly what he was referring to.

I have replayed that decision a hundred times in my mind. It was a poor one, I know. And I wish I could tell the guys I’m sorry, but life goes on. Sometimes you let people down and no matter how hard you wish it you can’t undo what you’ve done. So the task is to learn from your mistakes, to be wiser, more disciplined and better next time.

Favorite Street Football Pass Plays

In March my brothers and I re-visited the neighborhood where we grew up in New Jersey. In 1964 our family moved into a new housing development of three and four bedroom homes in Bridgewater. As we drove about the neighborhood, we were flooded with memories. Here’s the spot I jumped out of a moving car. There’s the pace in the woods where our fort used to be.

Significantly, it was a vibrant community with lots of kids of all ages. The isolation created by living in the ‘burbs is a common theme in books and movies, but during that Sixties era things were different in our neighborhood. There were kids in abundance, and grabbing a few for a pickup football game was a snap. For street football it only took five or six to get a pretty good game on.

I had a brother Ron, two years younger than I, who was always ready to play. Tom Browne lived next door in the house above, Kenny Koons in the house below. The McAvoys were a few houses up the road, and with that we were set. If there were five, I would be quarterback on both teams with no pass rush. Six, we’d play three on three. And there was nearly always room for one more.

The asphalt road made a perfect “field” for this setup. The brick curb provided a clear demarcation for what was out of bounds. The end zones could be from the telephone pole to the Koons’ driveway, or any other length that seemed suitable. It was touch football at its finest, involving psychology and finesse.

In retrospect, it was a great way to develop basic football skills. For quarterbacks, timing and accuracy are paramount. For receivers, developing good hands was the essential skill, as well as footwork and feints in the psychological game of beating the defense. Defenders learned how to read the offense and react. Playing street football on a daily basis enables you to practice, practice, practice. Besides, it was fun.

Generally we'd play three complete is a first down. Sometimes we'd go long just to keep the defenders honest, but it was pretty tough to defend against these short timing routes.

The illustration here shows a typical play that I might call. It begins with a crossing pattern which creates just enough confusion in the defenders to give the receiver an edge. The receiver begin straight along the curbs, and at about three steps out begin the cross. The right end is counting to five with the one-one-thousand, two-one-thousand, three-one-thousand cadence. At five the receiver breaks back toward the quarterback, with the ball already on its way. Almost impossible to defend against.

More football memories to come.

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Super Bowl Sunday in Cincy

GLENDALE, Ariz.–Most Super Bowls never live up to the endless barrage of hype and tonight's 42nd version, held in a large Airstream trailer of a stadium parked in the desert, might not, either. But we'll either get history being made by the New England Patriots, who are on the verge of a level of perfection unknown in football, or we will see history denied by the New York Giants in a monster upset. ~ Dave Perkins, The Toronto Star

Well, there's nothing quite like having your own team in the Big Game. The Browns are not there, but Bill Bellicek, unquestionably one of the greatest pro football coaches of all time (unless they discover his brain is on steroids) used to coach the Browns early in his career. I liked him then so I will be rooting for him today. Go Patriots.

In case you have not heard, the Patriots are living a dream season. There are one step away from the magical undefeated season, only the second in NFL history, and the longest run yet. Supposedly football is a game where "any given Sunday" either team can win. But despite the era of free agency and huge egos, Bellicek has assembled a no nonsense, awe inspiring record of dynastic proportions. It's not supposed to happen this way, yet it has. Which means this guy is the real deal, worthy of being compaed to the greats, Lombardi and Landry.

For this reason, all eyes will be on Glendale. Or a least, seventy million will be... or is that seven hundred million? Who knows. I am sure the talking heads who host today's game will be letting us know.

In the meantime, however you spend the day, enjoy it. Preferably with friends. By tomorrow this game will be history, but a good friend is for ever.