3 Weird Things You Probably Never Knew About Bob Dylan, Plus 3 Highlights of 2013

Disclaimer: Anyone who has been on the Internet for any length of time has seen those weird banner ads using the word "weird" in them. I have always thought them bizarre, but evidently they must work because advertisers continue to use them and since it is all being measured (clickthroughs, conversions, etc.) you know they wouldn't be doing it if it wasn't getting results. So... for the fun of it, I decided to use the word here in the title of my last blog entry of 2013. Weird, huh?

Here are three weird things you probably never knew about Bob Dylan.

1. When she was in school in Hibbing a girl who later grew up to become the mother-in-law of a friend of mine dated young Robert Zimmerman. (I do not have permission to say more than that, so don't ask.)

2. Several years ago I was at Frankie's Tavern on Tower Avenue, Superior and the young fellow next to me overheard some of us talking about Dylan. He said his father beat up young Robert Zimmerman once when they were in school together. (He lamented that he has always been ashamed of this.)

3. When you re-arrange the letters of Robert Zimmerman, it spells ARMOR BRIM MET ZEN, which is the secret password for an underground sect in Sri Lanka. And when you re-arrange Bob Dylan it spells both BLAND BOY and BAD NOBLY, revealing the two aspects of his dichotomous alter ego.

* * *

On a more serious note, here are my three personal Dylan highlights of 2013.

#3: Most of us have been aware of Dylan the painter. Bob Dylan the sculptor was a new revelation in 2013. In November, Dylan's Mood Swings show opened at the Halcyon Gallery in London.

#2: Bootleg Series Vol. 10, Another Self Portrait (1969-1971) was released in August. I can't remember an album I have played this frequently since... well since Dylan's last album. OK, maybe Together Through Life... If you have a choice between the two CD set and the three CD set, and haven't already bought Another Self Portrait, then get the triple set with the Isle of Wight concert. Very special evening captured live, and memorably historic.

#1: Dylan returns to Bayfront Park in Duluth.
Bob Dylan's Never Ending Tour continued to rumble along in 2013. For the third time it rolled through Duluth, the second time in Bayfront Park.

Honorable Mention: It created quite a stir when word leaked that Dylan was under consideration for a Nobel Prize for Literature.

What new direction do you think Dylan will take us in 2014?

Happy New Year!  

Sound and Unsound Bytes

In 1991 Duluth MN experienced a four day blizzard that literally buried the city in snow. The Halloween Blizzard, as it came to be known, dropped nearly four feet of powder on our Northland city-on-a-hillside, blanketing cars and everything else. With the mayoral election just days away, it became an amusing spectacle to see even the weather used as a political issue.

Once the snow finally ceased, the city began the challenging process of digging itself out. I lived in the Central Hillside at the time, and decided to take a walk around our neighborhood on the first illustriously sunny day after the four day blow.

It was probably Sunday morning. I had walked down the hillside to Fourth Street and headed east. There were no cleared roads except the snow emergency routes, which are maintained in all circumstances.

When I got to the corner of Fourth Street and Fifth Avenue East, I was somewhat surprised to see three people tromping through the snow up the middle of the road from below. It was a news camera from Channel 3 TV, along with mayoral candidate Gary Doty and his handler. I was the only person in sight, and so they walked up to me. I greeted them. They were looking for people in cars who were stuck and needing help getting pushed out of the drifted snow. Mayor Doty had makeup on his face for the sake of the camera to help reduce the glare of the sun on his shiny white skin. In other words, it was a staged event

Did I get a warm fuzzy from seeing the mayor-elect pushing cars out of snowbanks? Truth is, it left me feeling weird. What I do not understand is how they think people don’t see through this kind of bogus “compassion.” They (the people orchestrating media, political candidate and news byte) were looking to capture images for the evening news, to show that Mr. Doty cared about the people in our city when it was obvious all they cared about was getting that staged image.

It brought to mind my short term involvement in politics in 1984. I was at a Republican district meeting where they were seeking volunteers to show up on a Saturday morning to paint a house for an 87 year old woman in St. Paul. The media would be there to cover the (staged) event. I asked the question, “If our (Republican) policies help the poor and needy, why don’t we explain HOW our platform is better for everyone than the Democratic platform.” The facial expressions essentially dismissed my remarks as impertinent. The sound byte was more important than facts. Besides, they had already made arrangements with the TV news directors. It would make a good story.

Sadly, what is important is not truth, not rationale, but the sound byte. Manipulation based on the assumption that people are too stupid to see through the crap they are told to swallow.

This submission to the PR “experts” was the nail in the coffin for the Dukakis campaign in the 1980’s when he allowed himself to be filmed riding a tank… in an effort to show he was pro-military. Stupid. The real message is, “You are not a leader. You listen to your idiot PR experts instead of following your own gut based on experience, observation, expertise.” (I can't believe Michael Dukakis thought of his bungled byte all by himself... when he road in a tank to show he was pro-military. It was his handlers, right?)

I like Gary Doty as a person, but politically, that day in November a few days before the election was too fakey for me and a symbol of at least one thing wrong with America today.

And why do the journalists go along with it? I thought the media was supposed to be a watchdog that informs, not a tool in the hands of power seeking orchestra conductors.

From where I sit, things are not getting better any time soon. A lot of our leaders are themselves only pawns in a game.

This Is No Bull

A February Associated Press story stated that "Fake bull testicles and other anatomically explicit vehicle decorations would be banned from Maryland roads under a bill pending in the state legislature."

When I heard about this story, I didn't think much of it because, well, I did not know why anyone would have bull testicles on their cars. But then this past weekend I understood. I was passed by a Dodge Ram that had a small sack hanging from it's trailer hitch with two large eggs in it. It gave the appearance of testicles on a ram.

I guess there are some men who need to show the world they still have testosterone. But for the Maryland legislature to outlaw such behavior starts getting weird to me. I mean, it's not doing anyone any harm, really. It's simply a matter of bad taste, like someone getting up in church in telling a dirty joke.

It's easy to see why this story has been creating buzz. (Do a Google search: bull testicles legislation.) What's curious to me here is the contrast between this and the CFL (Compact Fluorescent Light) legislation that has flown by under the radar. In case you haven't heard, the new light bulbs will be mandatory by 2011, despite their expense and more alarmingly their health risks. These bulbs contain mercury, and if you break one it could put the health of you and your loved ones at risk. (Google Search: CFL toxic mercury) So we'll save energy but have a smashing good time filling our land fills and watertables with toxic mercury, made mandatory by government legislation.

So we have legislators outlawing one behavior because it's in bad taste, and then making us all conform to another behavior that can potentially shorten our lives. For some reason this seems just a bit too strange.

Postmodernism

I had a boss once who told me “Stop and smell the roses.” Evidently I was working too hard. I had always thought working hard was a virtue. Guess in our postmodern world it’s better to be hardly working.

Has anyone noticed this new word that crept into our vocabulary in recent years? Post-modernism.

Based on my research and reading, here are the basic tenets of Postmodernism as a philosophy: Certainty is bad. Confidence is wrong. Progress is a myth. History is NOT going anywhere. (Kind of like my comedy career.)

According to academics, it is dishonest to be certain. Reason does not add up. How do we know 2 + 2 isn’t five? How can you be so sure?

How do I know my fly is down? I don’t know. Is it really down? What is down? Maybe down is up? What if the top of the world is really the bottom?

Doubt is the central pillar of our contemporary belief system. Did we really land on the moon or was that a massive media manipulation?

Did Lee Harvey Oswald act alone or was there a massive conspiracy involving 194 million Americans, excluding Jackie, Caroline and John-John?

Did the Twin Towers in New York collapse or was this a brilliant plan designed to draw attention to President Bush’s involvement in the Florida public education system?

I have friends in New York who tell me the Towers are still there. The whole thing was done with mirrors to create the illusion of a disaster.

Yes there are still some things we can be sure of…. but I can’t think of any off the top of my head. Am I really standing here at the Fillmore? It just doesn’t seem real.