Why Do We Ask Questions? And What Does It Mean When We Stop?

"Children are the research & development division of the human species"--Patt Olivieri

Paquita. A girl at the orphanage
where we were in Mexico, 1981.

It's been a while since my children were little, but now that I'm a grandfather to a couple youngsters under five I'm remembering how sparkling and alive their developing minds were. What an amazing experience to be young explorers with no preconceived notions about this colorful, magical world we're born into and their endless inquisitiveness.

inquisitive: adj. -- curious or inquiring

Some of the synonyms for inquisitive have negative implications. Nosy, snooping, meddlesome and prying, for example, imply that inquisitive people don't respect boundaries.

And it's true. When we're young, we have no way of understanding a concept like boundaries until we're actually told, or scolded, for violating one of the unwritten rules of social engagement.

On the other hand, who doesn't love the innocence of a young inquiring mind? 

As I thought about these things I pondered as to why older people eventually stop asking questions. My first thought in that regard possibly has to do with our penchant for already having answers to everything. What I mean here is that after youngsters head off to school, it seems like the next many years are focused on answering questions, not asking them. Quizzes, tests and the like get graded based on our answers. How often are we rewarded for good questions? (OK, there are definitely teachers who enjoy seeing those young minds engaged and inquisitive.)

Peer pressure can also cause us to clam up for fear of coming across as stupid or ignorant. Asking a question that everyone already knows the answer to makes us feel stupid. It's embarrassing.

When I was in sixth grade my family moved to New Jersey. As the newby I was made to feel embarrassed and made to feel stupid more than a few times. On one occasion a classmate came up to me and said that there was a rumor going around that I was pregnant and they wanted to know if it were true. I had no idea what the word pregnant meant. Nevertheless I felt obligated to give a reply, so I said yes.

I immediately snuck off to the library to find a dictionary.  As I remember it, the dictionary was about six inches thick, lying open atop a pedestal and though I could read the words I wasn't fully grasping them.

Fear of humiliation may be one reason we stifle our questions in public. I've certain seen it in the workplace where co-workers may use acronyms in a manner that suggests they are common knowledge. If you stop the meeting to ask what AML means, will you be glared at for being so dense? So you bite your tongue. The problem is, others may have the same question so that there has actually been no communication taking place because the meaning was lost.

Which brings me back to the beautiful innocence we find in the uninhibited inquiries of children. Here are a few questions my son asked when he was little.

Where did all the dinosaurs go?
Do dinosaurs eat worms?
Where are all the astronauts? 
Why don't we see them walking on the streets?
Do ants have fire trucks? (no.) What do they do when their houses catch on fire?      (EdNote: See my poem The Ants: A Tale)

* * * 

A week or two ago I came across a story on Medium by Adelina Vasile about her three-year-old son. It was titled Smile-Stealing Small Talk With a Little Boy. Medium as a blogging platform brings writers and readers together from all over the world. I find it a rather amazing time in history when ordinary people can write stories that people all over the world can read and respond to. 

Next I noticed that Adelina was from Romania, a country many Americans probably don't know that much about. I remember becoming aware of that nation during the 1976 Olympics when gymnast Nadia Comaneci won a gold medal and became the first gymnast to score a perfect 10. In 2010, the memory of that event triggered a blog post titled Nine Things You Maybe Didn't Know About Romania.

It was against this backdrop that I decided to reach out and learn what kinds of questions a Romanian boy might ask. As it turns out, Ms. Vasile was open to going along with it. The next thing I knew, I had the following list of questions in my inbox. Her son's name is Matthew, so I will title this list of questions Matthew's World. It's interesting how wildly imaginative children's minds are all over the world.

Matthew's World

Matthew searching for answers inside
a toy he took apart.

What are microbes?

Why can’t we see microbes?
If I look through a “miboscobe” will I see microbes?

Did the dinosaurs purr? (Like cats…)
What dinosaurs lived on our street when that big rock fell from the sky?
What do you mean our street didn’t exist when the dinosaurs died?
Not even our house?
Not even our neighbors?

Will a crocodile eat us if we meet with him?
Will a tiger eat us?
The tiger is a bigger cat?
Will a penguin eat us?
Why do penguins eat fish?

What is an Eskimos?
Do Eskimos live at the North Pole?
What is the Arctic region?
Are there any Eskimos at the South Pole?
When will we go to the North Pole?

When I’ll grow up I will be allowed to drink wine?
Will the police let me drive too?
What if the police will catch me flying at high speed? (he was talking about flying a plane)
If you’re in a helicopter without a seatbelt, will the police give you a fine? 

Is it true that monsters don’t exist?
What is an ogre?
If ghosts were real, what would they look like?
How does a baby ghost look like?

How did grandpa die?
When will grandpa be alive again?
What is grandpa doing now? (the deceased grandpa)
When will we die?
Can I eat this until I die? (strawberry jam)
Will you cry if I die?

Daddy, what did you see interesting at work today?
How did you sleep last night?
What did you buy me?
Is there any surprise for me in this package?

What are the eyes that we see through?
What is inside my belly?
What happens if my penis breaks?
What happens if I lose all my blood?
Will I grow big muscles if I eat these 3 chickpeas?
Can I have 8 plums? Are 8 plums a lot?

* * * 

The headline for this blog post promises to answer the question "What does it mean when we stop asking questions?" When I asked Quora, I found some pretty thoughtful replies. You can find those answers here.

Thanks for dropping by. And if you have young ones, what kinds of questions are they asking? Would you share them in the comments?

Related Links

When Kids Smack You in the Head With Some Philosophical Idea

Follow Adelina on Medium

Are You Protopian, Utopian or Dystopian?

Nobody's Child

GOOD CAUSES DEPT.

Cy Coben and Mel Foree wrote a song called Nobody's Child which was recorded in 1949 by Hank Snow. Last night I heard the 1990 version of this song by the Travelling Wilbury's, the supergroup of George Harrison and friends -- Bob Dylan, Tom Petty, and Jeff Lynne. Roy Orbison was still a Wilbury but preparing to leave for another destination at the time.

The song became the opening track on an album titled Nobody's Child: Romanian Angel Appeal. Romanian Angel Appeal was an effort to raise awareness, and money, for the needy children of Romania.

Yesterday when I heard the song on KUMD, it reminded me of the outreach started by our friends Silviu and Tirzah Pop whom I wrote about last summer. The needs in Romania have not gone away, even if they are not in the news like all the global economic turmoil. While earthquakes and tsunamis cause massive destruction and media coverage, the ongoing needs in places like Romania are all but forgotten. It was this ongoing need that prompted Silviu and Tirzah Pop to create Romanian Hope Springs International.

Nobody's Child
As I was slowly passing, an orphans home today
I stopped for just a little while to watch the children play
A lone boy standin', and when I asked him why
He turned with eyes that could not see, and he began to cry

I'm nobody's child, I'm nobody's child
Just like a flower I'm growin' wild
No mama's arms to hold me no daddy's smile
Nobody wants me, I'm nobody's child

In every town and village
There are places just like this
With rows and rows of children
And babies in their cribs

They've long since stopped their cryin'
As no-one ever hears
And no-one there to notice them or take away their fears

Nobody's child, they're nobody's child
Just like a flower they're growin wild
No mama's arms to hold them, no daddy's smile
Nobody wants them they're nobody's child

Nobody's child, they're nobody's child
Just like a flower they're growin wild
No mama's arms to hold them, no daddy's smile
Nobody wants them they're nobody's child
Nobody wants them they're nobody's child

It just so happens that this weekend I received an invitation to Silviu & Tirzah's next fundraiser for orphaned children in Northeast Romania.

We are going to have a traditional Romanian meal Including home made bread and other goodies that my be a new cultural experience. The meal and entertainment will be $20.
The event will take place at East Ridge Community Church on July -10 Time 5-7 pm.
Location: 3727 West Arrowhead Road, Duluth MN 55811

Silviu is himself an artist, singer and excellent cook. Yum. It is my understanding that there will be a silent auction that includes art by potters and painters. All proceeds will go to help meet the needs of the children.

For more information about Romanian Hope Springs International visit http://www.romanianhopesprings.org/

Trivia: George Harrison's first recording of Nobody's Child was with Tony Sheridan and the Beatles in 1961.

Nine Things You Maybe Didn't Know About Romania

My guess is that most high schoolers wouldn't know how to find it on a map, though 22 million people live there and, like us, they have a history. After World War II Romania, along with the rest of Eastern Europe, fell behind the Iron Curtain and was forgotten by the West. But all the world's eyes became aware of this country again when gymnastics star Nadia Comaneci captured gold with a perfect ten in the 1976 Summer Olympics... and two more in 1980.

It's a land with peoples who have seen much sorrow. Here are some details to get you acquainted.

1. Romania has the 9th largest territory and 7th largest population among the nations in the European Union.

2. The capital of Romania is Bucharest, which is the sixth largest city in the E.U. with approximately 2.2 million people in its metro area.

3. Dracula's Castle is in Romania.

The actual name is Bran Castle. Like many of the castles built during the Middle Ages, Bran Castle was a well fortified refuge built in 1212 by the Teutonic Knights at the entrance to a mountain valley on the border of Transylvania. Destroyed by the Mongols thirty years later, it was rebuilt and used as a defense against the Ottoman Empire. In the mid-fifteenth century it was the fortress used by Vlad III, Prince of Wallachia, known as Vlad the Impaler. His Romanian surname was Dracula. Today it is a museum for tourists.

4. The official language is Romanian.

5. The name of the country comes from, you guessed it... the word Roman.

6. If you are ever in a rental car in Romania be sure to drive on the right side of the road, as in the U.S., and not the left as in Britain.

7. When the Romans left the region upon the collapse of the Roman empire in the 4th century, the territory, held by the Goths, was then taken by the Huns. Other people groups settling there in the first millennium were the Gepids, Avars, Bulgars, Pechenegs, and Cumans, as well as the Slavs.

8. Romania today is a democracy with several major political parties.

9. The country is relatively poor by most standards, though it ranks 65th in the world for per capita income (approx $12,000 a year). It is a nation emerging, but with many needs.... but like many cultures, not to be forgotten and with much to give.

Reaching the Marginalized in Romania

"Jesus was all about the lost, the last and the least. This is good news for the poor, the blind and the needy... There is much in Scripture about God's concern for the marginalized, the orphan, the widow, the elderly, the broken. We cannot confess the centrality of the Word without embracing its major themes." ~Gary Walter

This past weekend had some interesting moments. The third was on Sunday morning. Our pastor was in Colorado with his family and instead of a stand in, we watched an excerpt from a longer message by the president of the Covenant Church International. The quote above is a passage from his message.
The second was the night before. We had visited the home of Silviu and Tirzah Pop, founders of an outreach to forgotten and marginalized children in the village of Poiana in Northeast Romania. Silviu is from this region and is painfully aware of the great need there.

The major issue is widespread AIDS. In the 1980's it was believed that blood transfusions to children would improve their health for minor and major surgeries. Untested, contaminated blood and the lack of hygienic practices helped transmit HIV to inordinate numbers of children there. Some were already orphans while others were abandoned in garbage containers, parks or apartment buildings.

Silviu and Tirzah have land and a small run-down building. Their desire is to create an orphanage where these and other outcast youth can be cared for and loved.

On Saturday evening we looked at photos from Silviu's recent visit there. We saw the need and we saw their dream. The special power of their outreach is that it originated in the hearts of two very ordinary people. There is no bureaucracy. Just a pair of young people responding to needs and striving to do something good.

The first "interesting moment" of the weekend, and the trigger event for this sequence of thoughts, was seeing again the film About Schmidt, which I wrote about here.

How is one transformed from self-preoccupation to selflessness? In a culture which preaches "me" and publishes bestsellers like Looking Out for Number One, where do the Mother Teresas come from? Silviu and Tirzah give evidence that it can really come from anywhere.

For more information, visit their website at http://www.romanianhopesprings.org/

Five Minutes With Silviu Pop

So many times in history we read of ordinary people who do extraordinary things. It can be very exhilarating to discover the modest roots of these many great enterprises. The flip side, we often don't know whether a big dream or vision will come to pass for certain because there is always risk involved and we really cannot see tomorrow very well. One thing we do know is that he who tries nothing achieves exactly that.

For this reason I am always impressed by people who are passionate about their dreams, especially when it comes to making sacrifices to help make others' lives better. These are people who do not link risks to the cost, but to the potential rewards.

A couple weeks ago I wrote about the fund raising dinner we went to for Romanian Hope Springs Eternal. I did a quick follow up interview with

ennyman: How old are you, Silviu?
Silviu: I just turned 29 on July 16th.

enny: How did you and Tirzah meet?

Silviu: We met through a common friend attending Grace Baptist Church in Dublin Ireland. The church had an active young adult group that we were both involved in. I was in Ireland working and Tirzah was in Ireland completing her Veterinary degree.

enny: Why is music such a part of your lives?

Silviu: I used to sing Romanian Folk music as a child. My teacher, Florica Bradu, is a famous folk music singer in Oradea. I also sang in the Romanian church in a youth group. I coordinated 2 groups while I was in "high school". Our singing group traveled around Romania on mission trips from the bottom of the Black Sea to the top of the Carpathian Mountains..

Tirzah started playing trombone in 6th grade as they didn’t want her in the choir. Her music career took off during her senior year in High School when she was involved in Jazz Band and Wind Ensemble at East High School. She continued to play while attending UMD and her trombone went with her to Ireland.

enny: Why are there so many orphans in Romania?
Silviu: Ceausescu Nicolaie had a rule enforced demanding every women to have at least 5 children in order to increase the population of Romania. He didn’t worry about how the families would feed and support their children. A lot of the families when they found they couldn’t support their kids they would leave them in blankets in the garbage, in boxes by the garbage containers or by the apartment building doors. These homeless children were put in orphanages. Romania is still struggling economically thus children are still being put into orphanages.

enny: What is the biggest need of the ministry at this time?
Silviu: We are at the very start of raising money so that we can fix up the facility in order to have our first camp with children from the orphanage next summer. We need to raise around $50,000 in order to have the facility usable.

enny: Are gifts to your ministry tax deductible? What's the easiest way to send support?
Silviu: We are working on our Federal Tax ID in the next few months we should have it. The easiest way to send support would be checks written to Romanian Hope Springs International or PayPal on our (soon to be available) web site. Artists can send art to our address for silent auction at or dinner events. Thank you for interviewing us and coming to our dinner. We really enjoyed the blog and sent out the website to a number of other people. Most of the artwork was sold which was very exciting.

For more information contact romanianhopesprings@yahoo.com

To all you dreamers and world-changers, today is a good day to move your dream one step further toward reality.

Hope Springs Eternal for Romania

This week Susie and I were invited to a fund-raising/consciousness-raising dinner for Romanian Hope Springs International and I want to convey some what we experienced there. But where does one begin?

I am reminded of the story of the little boy on the beach trying to save the lives of sand dollars (or is is starfish?) that have been washed ashore and which will most definitely die if left there out of the water. The boy is picking them up one at a time, throwing them back into the sea. A man who sees what he’s trying to do comes walking by and questions why the boy is wasting his time when the whole beach is awash with critters doomed to die. The boy will make hardly a dent and what difference can it possibly make when there are so many?

The boy has paused to consider the man’s words, then throws the next one into the sea saying, “It made a difference for that one.”

I’m sure that was a scene from a movie, and the simplicity of last night’s dinner could have been a movie scene, too. Silviu and Tirzah Pop were the organizers of the event, a Romanian meal extraordinaire. We were not only introduced to Romanian cuisine, we also heard Silviu sing to us some songs of Romanian origin…. In Romanian, of course.

There was also a silent auction in which people were able to purchase art and pottery, donated through Silviu’s local arts connections.

That Tirzah, our veterinarian extraordinaire, would have married a man from Romania and gone on to start a ministry in a foreign land comes as no surprise when you know her family as we did when we first came to Duluth in 1986. Tirzah’s dad is a doctor who is active annually in a Christian medical outreach in Madagascar. The family has missions connections of many stripes. I remember being with Dr. Roach the day the Rwandan president’s plane was shot down years ago. He commented with heaviness of heart that this was a signal that very dark days were coming in that troubled country. The film Hotel Rwanda describes that horrorific massacre of Hutus by Tutsis that resulted in a million deaths and rivers of blood.

Romania, like many nations outside the periphery of our daily news, has more than its share of sorrows. Silviu, who has maintained strong attachments with his homeland and family siince coming to this country, felt a special burden for the people of the mountain villages in Northwestern Romania. Several years ago, when he sought to bring blankets to help people through the winters, his pastor encouraged him to “think bigger.” This ministry is a direct outgrowth of those prayers and bigger thinking.

What moved me last night was how simple and pure Silviu’s and Tirzah’s ambitions are with this ministry. It is about the needy, not about the Pops. It is about ordinary people making sacrifices to do whatever they can to help other people in extraordinarily difficult straights.

A primary focus is to reach the children. There are countless orphans due to bad medical and political decisions during the past quarter century. Young people with disabilities are neglected in Romania, hence the mission includes serving disabled children.

Jacques Ellul, in his book Hope in Time of Abandonment, noted that Martin Luther's emphasis on faith was the key word for his historical moment. But the key word in our time is hope. The modern world has seen devastation on a mass scale like never before. This ministry, Romanian Hope Springs International, is focused on bringing hope to a specific people in a time of great need.

For more information contact romanianhopesprings@yahoo.com