Why the U.S. Failed in Vietnam: Key Reasons Behind a Costly Conflict

The Vietnam War remains one of the most controversial and analyzed conflicts in U.S. history. In the Sixties it was on the evening news every day and every teen at that time had to think about what they would do if they were called to go serve. Despite the country's military superiority, the United States ultimately failed to achieve its objectives in Vietnam. 

Over the years I've heard many people propose that had John F. Kennedy not been assassinated we would never have gotten mired in that costly, useless war. Seymour Hersh, in his JFK expose The Dark Side of Camelot, shows very clearly that Kennedy was himself a hawk on the war, having mis-read it as Cold War action instead of what it was, an effort to achieve Vietnam's independence from foreign colonial rule. 

Misunderstanding the nature of the conflict was America's chief failure. We believed we were stopping the spread of Communism. U.S. leaders underestimated the importance of Vietnam's quest for national identity. Proponents for the war continuously repeated, as did their media mouthpiece, the Domino Effect theory, insisting that all Southeast Asia would fall to Communism if we failed to stop them here. We failed, and Southeast Asia did not fall.

In addition to this, the U.S.lacked a clear military objective, unlike World War II, where the goals were well-defined (such as the unconditional surrender of Germany and Japan). The U.S. in Vietnam had a more ambiguous mission. Initially, it was to support the South Vietnamese government against communist insurgents, but the lack of a clear exit strategy or concrete end goals made it difficult to measure progress. As a result, the U.S. military found itself trapped in a prolonged war of attrition, with no clear understanding of what "victory" looked like.

The U.S. also severely underestimated the capabilities and resolve of its enemy. (See WWAUA) The Viet Cong and North Vietnamese Army (NVA) were highly adaptable, using guerilla tactics that made conventional U.S. military strategies less effective. The terrain in Vietnam, from dense jungles to rural villages, was ideal for guerilla warfare, and the U.S. military struggled to adapt to these conditions. (See: Battle of Dien Bien Phu)

Additionally, the Viet Cong had the support of many South Vietnamese civilians, which made it difficult for American forces to differentiate between combatants and non-combatants. The extensive use of airpower and large-scale bombing campaigns like Operation Rolling Thunder, intended to demoralize the enemy, often had the opposite effect, stiffening the resolve of the Vietnamese. I remember reading somewhere that for every innocent South Vietnamese civilian we killed, we created 10 more Viet Cong soldiers and sympathizers.

While the war raged on in Vietnam, public support for the conflict steadily eroded in the U.S. By the late 1960s, the anti-war movement had gained significant traction, fueled by increasing media coverage of the war’s brutality, the high number of American casualties, and the perception that the government was not being truthful about the war’s progress. The 1968 Tet Offensive, although a military failure for the Viet Cong, was a psychological victory that significantly weakened U.S. public confidence in the war effort. Mounting protests, political pressure, and a divided public eventually forced the U.S. government to de-escalate and seek a way out.

Finally, the U.S. was supporting a weak and corrupt South Vietnamese government that lacked popular support. Successive leaders in South Vietnam were seen by many Vietnamese as out of touch with the needs of the people and overly dependent on U.S. aid and military assistance. This lack of legitimacy made it difficult for the South Vietnamese government to maintain order and effectively combat the Viet Cong insurgency. U.S. efforts to build a stable, democratic government in South Vietnam were constantly undermined by internal divisions, corruption, and the perception of the government as a puppet regime.

Bottom Line: Vietnam became a "tar baby" for each successive administration from Kennedy to Nixon. Like Brer Rabbit, the more the U.S.got involved, the more entangled we became in a war we could not win, ultimately leading to one of the most significant military and political defeats in American history.

The Uses of Failure: Lessons from Patricia Hampl at the 1985 Robert Wright Writers Conference

In 1985, the Fourth Annual Robert Wright Writer’s Conference at Mankato State University welcomed Patricia Hampl, an acclaimed American memoirist, essayist, and poet, as its keynote speaker. Known for her lyrical prose and introspective explorations of memory, identity, and spirituality, Hampl captivated attendees with her reflections on the craft of writing, drawing deeply from her own experiences. Her address, titled “The Uses of Failure,” offered a candid and practical perspective on how setbacks can shape a writer’s journey. 

I had attended the conference with the late John Prin, who had mentored me as a fledgling wanna-be writer. After having failed as a missionary, working at an orphanage in Mexico for close to a year, I began thinking more deeply and praying about what my life was really about. A year or so before I felt called to be a writer, which is a much longer story.

I met John at a writer's group in Eden Prairie, a suburb of the Twin Cities. We were fast friends. The Mankato State conference was the second we attended together. Interestingly, both of us were quite familiar with failure--John had spent ten years trying to make it as a screenwriter in Hollywood--so Ms. Hampl's keynote talk had something for both of us.

This weekend I found a notebook from that conference. Using Google Lens I was able to convert my handwriting to digital text. Below is an article summarizing the notes I took during Ms. Hampl's talk, weaving her insights together with the wisdom she imparted to a small auditorium full of aspiring writers.

Embracing Failure as a Writer 

Patricia Hampl, born in St. Paul, Minnesota, in 1946, has spent her career weaving personal memory with cultural and historical threads. By 1985, she had been writing for two decades, earning recognition for her memoir A Romantic Education (1981), which explored her Czech-Irish heritage and helped elevate memoir as a serious literary genre. At the conference, Hampl shared that her path to success was not linear but marked by failures that ultimately fueled her growth as a writer. “Writing, like love,” she said, “is something you give expecting nothing.” This mindset, she argued, is essential for committing to the work itself, rather than chasing external rewards.

Hampl outlined three pivotal failures that shaped her career, each offering lessons in resilience, self-validation, and clarity.

Failure 1: The Dream of the Concert Pianist

Hampl’s first failure was her childhood ambition to become a concert pianist—a dream that ended in “total failure.” Yet this setback led her to writing, a discovery that became her true calling. The lesson? Failure can redirect us to paths we might never have explored otherwise. For Hampl, the collapse of one dream opened the door to another, revealing writing as her medium for self-expression.

Failure 2: The Sting of Rejection

The late John Prin (L) and myself
during an annual meet-up in Hinckley, 2020.

Hampl recounted the emotional devastation of a rejection from The New Yorker, which left her creatively paralyzed for two years. She admitted to being unprepared for the “inflationary effects of success”—the pressure to maintain a certain standard after early achievements. This experience taught her a crucial lesson: writers must find validation from within. “I don’t care if I can’t do it well,” she said, “I just have to write.” By learning to trust the intrinsic value of her work, Hampl overcame the paralyzing fear of external judgment.

Failure 3: The Perils of Inflated Expectations

Her third failure came when a major magazine commissioned her to write a piece on Sylvia Plath. The pressure to produce something extraordinary led to what Hampl called an “inflating situation,” where lofty expectations hindered her ability to write authentically. This experience underscored the importance of understanding what rejection means—not as a verdict on one’s worth, but as an opportunity to refine one’s craft and perspective.

Practical Strategies for Sustaining the Writing Life

Hampl didn’t just dwell on failure; she offered practical advice for sustaining oneself as a writer. Her suggestions were grounded in simplicity and self-care, emphasizing the importance of staying connected to the joy of writing:

1. Relax: Let go of perfectionism to free your creative energy.
2. Take long walks: Physical movement can clear the mind and spark inspiration.
3. Surround yourself with supportive friends: A community that believes in your writing can provide emotional sustenance.
4. Read voraciously: Immersing yourself in others’ work fuels creativity and perspective.
5. Embrace diversity: Allow yourself to explore varied interests and experiences to enrich your writing.
6. Resist the “mystery” of marketing: Focus on the craft, not the pressure to sell your work.

Hampl’s advice was pragmatic, urging writers to prioritize clarity over the pursuit of masterpieces. “You don’t put things down on paper to produce masterpieces,” she said, “but to gain clarity.” This perspective reframes writing as an act of discovery, not a race to perfection.

The Inner Peace of Writing

Hampl’s talk was peppered with insights that resonated beyond the page. Quoting Ettie Hillimson, she shared, “The fear of missing out is what keeps us out of things.” For writers, this fear can manifest as a fixation on external validation or unattainable standards, which stifles creativity. Instead, Hampl advocated for keeping standards low enough to maintain motivation, avoiding the paralysis of perfectionism. “Every time I get high-falootin’ about my writing, I crash,” she confessed, highlighting the dangers of bloated ambitions.

She also emphasized the value of “going away” for sustained immersion in one’s work. Whether it’s a physical retreat or a mental space carved out for writing, this dedicated time fosters the clarity and focus needed to grow. Hampl echoed Hillimson again: “The more peace there is in us, the more peace there will be in our troubled world.” For Hampl, writing is not just a craft but a path to inner peace, a way to navigate the chaos of life through reflection and creation.

Failure as a Catalyst for Growth

Her keynote was a reminder that failure is not the opposite of success but a vital part of it. By sharing her own struggles—failed dreams, crushing rejections, and inflated expectations—she showed that setbacks are not endpoints but opportunities for growth. Her message to the writers at Mankato State University was clear: embrace failure, learn from it, and let it guide you toward clarity and authenticity.

For aspiring writers, Patricia Hampl’s insights remain timeless. 

Photos: LaVerne Harrell Clark, 1980 (top) and 1995.

The Failure of Compassion: Gaza and the Irish Potato Famine

I remember when I first read about the British response to the Irish Potato Famine, which occurred between 1845 and 1852. It still remains a subject of historical debate and controversy. 

The thing that shocked me, or struck me as sad, was that there were Christian members of Parliament who argued that Britain should not intervene or help the Irish because the famine was God's judgement on Ireland.

As I investigated this, I learned that there were other factors that contributed to Britain's inaction. Some leaders argued in favor of laissez-faire economics, emphasizing minimal government intervention into markets. Market forces would fix everything, they believed.

Another factor had to do with the power balance between Britain and Ireland. That is, Ireland was a colonial entity. At that time, to the late 20th century, there was significant political tension between the nation and the colony. Some leaders welcomed the famine as a means of weakening Irish nationalist sentiment.

Couple this with the prevalence of prejudice toward the Irish. To many they were unworthy of assistance. 

There were also government policies that worsened the impact of the famine.

The net result: widespread suffering and death, and mass emigration.

* * * 

These things come to mind as I follow the news about Gaza. It isn't a stretch to say we're watching a repeat of history. Replace the Irish with Palestinians and you see the samenmassive suffering, while the world watches and does very little. 

Oh, wait. The U.S. has been actively doing something. We keep making more bombs. 

 

Lessons from Joseph Conrad's Nostromo Are Still Relevant.

"It is to be remarked that a good many people are born curiously unfitted for the fate awaiting them on this earth."
--Joseph Conrad

When I first set out to pursue a writing career I had a strong desire to write fiction, but also wrote articles. I'd decided that writing a novel was too big of an undertaking for a beginning writer who was also working full time, so I focused on writing short stories. 

To learn the storytelling craft I read and listened to short stories in the following manner.  I would use short story anthologies to identify short story writers. I would select a writer and immerse myself in his or her work, much like binging. Hemingway, Jack London, Chekov and many others were studied in this way. Joseph Conrad was among the first.

I remember taking an album out of the Hennepin County Library with several Conrad stories on it. The first that I listened to was called "The Lagoon." The descriptive prose and heartbreaking story moved me profoundly. What especially made an impression on me was that Conrad wrote in English, which was not his native tongue. In fact, English was Conrad's third language.  

Conrad wrote Nostromo in 1904, a story set in the fictional South American republic of Constaguana during a violent revolution. The title character is an Italian longshoreman who has been entrusted to safeguard a priceless silver mine that was owned by Charles Gould.

Primary themes in the novel include the corrupting influence of power and greed while also examining the impact of colonialism and imperialism on Latin America. How interesting that these themes continue to remain relevant 100 years later in a post-colonial era.

 

In the story, Nostromo is initially a respected and trustworthy figure, but he is gradually bent by the power and wealth that he gains from safeguarding the silver mine. Over time he is increasingly ruthless and dishonest, eventually becoming responsible for the deaths of many people. 

Here's a description of the novel from Amazon.com. What I found most illuminating is how much history preceded the Latin American conflicts that we've been more aware of because they happened in our lifetimes (if you're a Baby Boomer).

One of the greatest political novels in any language, Nostromo reenacts the establishment of modern capitalism in a remote South American province locked between the Andes and the Pacific. In the harbor town of Sulaco, a vivid cast of characters is caught up in a civil war to decide whether its fabulously wealthy silver mine, funded by American money but owned by a third-generation English immigrant, can be preserved from the hands of venal politicians. Greed and corruption seep into the lives of everyone, and Nostromo, the principled foreman of the mine, is tested to the limit.

Another main point that Nostromo makes is that colonialism and imperialism can have a devastating impact on the people of the colonized countries. This was a theme in Orwell's early writings in which he attempted to convey the consequences of British imperialism in India. In this novel Conrad shows how the silver mine in Costaguana is exploited by the British and other foreign interests, and how the profits from the mine benefit a small elite while the majority of the people live in poverty and squalor. This exploitation took place thoughout the New World. When we lived in Mexico we visited two cities where silver mines had been stripped bare by the Spanish, for the benefit of Spain.

Here are four takeaways from Nostromo:

1) The importance of individual responsibility and the dangers of blindly following authority.

2) The fragility of social order and the difficulty of creating lasting change.

3) The power of nature and the limitations of human control.

4) The ambiguity of good and evil and the difficulty of making moral choices in a complex world.  

"Having had to encounter single-handed during his period of eclipse many physical dangers, he was well aware of the most dangerous element common to them all: of the crushing, paralyzing sense of human littleness, which is what really defeats a man struggling with natural forces, alone, far from the eyes of his fellows."
--Joseph Conrad, Nostromo

Related
Nostromo Summary
The Mission's Pointed Questions

Why Civilizations Fail: Niall Ferguson Sounds A Wake-Up Call

I just finished reading, for the second time, The Great Degeneration: How Institutions Decay and Economies Die, by Niall Ferguson. Ferguson, who hails from Scotland, is one of the world's foremost historians. He's a senior fellow at the Hoover Institute, Stanford University, and a faculty fellow at Harvard. 

The titles aren't what make his writing interesting. Rather, it is the clarity of thought and the scope of his ideas. To best understand what is happening in the world today, historians help bring perspective that most everyone has lost sight of because they are so focused on being "up to the minute," making sure we're in the loop with the latest statements or faux pas of the politicians we love or hate. 

One of the matters that this book addresses has to do with Western Civilization. Since there have been all kinds of civilizations over the ages, why do some rise up above the rest at various times? And how did Western Europe grow in strength and influence so that it came to dominate the world? 

There has been a lot of well-deserved criticism of the evils committed by the nations of Western Europe, not the least of which was the slave trade and exploitation of others' natural resources. Ferguson's book provides insights on how Western Civilization achieved the power that it did, and why this occurred in Europe and not elsewhere. 

Explaining the Great Divergence

People suggest a variety of explanations for the divergence in outcomes in quality of life for various people groups. For Ferguson, "Institutions, more than geography, natural resources, climate or even the incidence of disease, have a greater impact on societal outcomes."

Why did Western Civilization fair so much better than other civilizations? Ferguson writes that from the 1500s to the late 1970's there was an astonishing diverging in global living standards.

"As of 300 years ago the average Asian achieved the same as the average Westerner. As of 1978, the average American was 22 times richer. Why?"

Not only in wealth but also in health did we see this. In 1960, life expectancy in China was in the late 40s, whereas in the U.S. it had reached 70.

"A minority of mankind had both a material and political dominance over the rest. Why?" 

It had nothing to do with racial superiority, he notes. Nor did it have to do with natural resources, geography, climate or topography.  In other words, there were no outward signs to indicate Europe would outshine the great Oriental empires. 

Nor can the achievements of Western Europe be explained in terms of imperialism. Other empires did plenty of that as well. 

In point of fact, from 500 to 1500, which we now refer to as the Dark Ages, there was really nothing to suggest that this corner of the world would break out and expand its rule over a majority of the known world.

Ferguson believes that the reason for disparity in the great divergence between the Western end of Eurasia and the Eastern end has to do with the institutions that developed.

England was the first nation to embrace pluralistic rather than extracted political institutions. Spain was not and as a result, the political systems exported to the New World (North and South America) produced different outcomes. Protestantism was also a part of this influence.

Institutions are what matter. 

Here are a few points he makes early in the book:

--Dysfunctional institutions are what force the poor to live outside the law.

--The "rule of law" has no analogue in the non-human world.

--Good institutions are hard to achieve. Bad institutions are easy to get stuck in.

And then there's the big question that seems to be the overarching theme of this book: WHY DO INSTITUTIONS FAIL? 

* * * 

Niall Ferguson concluded that the rise of the West was due to four things, which he calls the Four Black Boxes. The bulk of this book is comprised of a deep dive into the meaning of these four elements.

1. Democracy -- the consent of the governed.

2. Capitalism -- and the vibrant society healthy markets produce.

3. Rule of law -- secure property rights, fairness and (in theory) equality.

4. Civil society -- how we treat one another.

The book was published ten years ago, and much of what we're seeing today is the crumbling of our culture. A very real degeneration is occurring right before our eyes. For the past half century we have been in decline and the evidence is all around us. 

Here are four areas where we have been failing.

--Failure to enforce property rights.

--Failure to uphold the rule of law

--Failure to understand economics, and defend the wealth creation capabilities of Capitalism.

--Failure to support the foundations of civil society.

As time permits I hope to share a more details regarding the Four Black Boxes of Civilization and why we need to wake up. To defend what really matters we need to understand what's really happening.   

* * * 

Related Link
Decline of the West: Historian Niall Ferguson Sounds Wake Up Call

Sun Tzu on Our Failure in Afghanistan

Photo by Jeff Kingma on Unsplash

This past week I have been re-reading Sun Tzu's The Art of War. The book is essentially a set of rules regarding the planning and conduct of war. In more recent times much of it has been applied to business, and I myself produced a marketing plan for introducing a new program by drawing from Sun Tzu's wisdom and insights.

In my current reading, very early on I was struck by two statements that leapt from the page for me:

--When you engage in actual fighting, if victory is long in coming, then men's weapons will grow dull and their ardor will be damped.

--There is no instance of a country having benefited from prolonged warfare. 

Well, there you have it. Written 2000 years ago or more, these maxims have been proven true again today. I don't doubt that every general in the U.S. has read these words, yet we blundered along in Afghanistan for two decades. 

In another place Sun Tzu asserts the importance of having a clear objective. These kinds of "forever war" escapades reveal leadership weakness, not strength. Vietnam ought to have taught us this lesson. 

* * * 

Here's one other rule that jumped out from this recent reading of Sun Tzu: 

--He will win who has military capacity and is not interfered with by the sovereign.

When General Schwarzkopf was tasked with planning the First Gulf War known as Operation Desert Storm, he would accept under one condition: that the planning and execution of the war be in his hands, and not clueless politicians back home. General Schwarzkopf learned this lesson the hard way in the Grenada operation. After successfully achieving victory without losing a single life, President Reagan got to meddling and requested a further action. Schwarzkopf obeyed the commander-in-chief and subsequently lost two helicopters and 24 men.

Desert Storm had a clearly defined objective, to liberate Kuwait. It was not going to be a forever war and General Schwarzkopf saw to it that the objective was firmly adhered to.

In Afghanistan, U.S. adventurism morphed from an effort to destroy Al-Qaida training camps to building schools and advancing women's rights, essentially aiming to remake this backward country in our own image, or at least inculcate our values. But what values were we demonstrating? When bribing with money didn't work, we began bribing with Viagra. That was a new low for America's best and brightest. 

Much more can be said, but the main point here had to do with this violation of an essential principle: if you can't win quickly, you will lose.

* * * 

Related
Lessons from Desert Storm

Villanova Championship Teaches a Principle of Success: There Is Always Risk Involved

Anyone who watched the 2018 NCAA Basketball championships saw a mighty Villanova make mincemeat of its opponents with volumes of 3-point shots from outside the arc. In its showdown with Kansas in the semi-final last Saturday Villanova set a new record for 3-pointers by two minutes into the second half, and they kept on shooting them. They set a new record for three point goals for a season as well.

In Monday's championship game it was a different story though. Against Michigan, eight of their first nine shots were whiffs. Their 3-point game had chilled and Villanova fans began biting their nails.

No worry. This didn't stop their efforts to shoot the long ball, and despite the failed shots they continued to attempt these longer shots, making the necessary adjustments to recover their magic. And here's the lesson. Success is directly proportional to one’s willingness to accept the possibility of failure. If we can’t allow the possibility of failure, we will freeze and never succeed because we are no longer moving toward a goal rather we are moving toward safety. Fear paralyzes confidence. Confidence is an essential ingredient in success.

* * * *
In my article Increasing the Odds of Success I wrote, "In short, risk is part of business; there are no sure things. Wall Street does not always lead to Easy Street. Nor does an Internet retail strategy always lead to Internet riches. As Robert Burns noted in his ode to a mouse, 'The best laid plans of mice and men often go awry.'"

Risk, by definition, means exposure to danger. This applies not only to soldiers in the battlefield, but also to businesses, as well as the people in these businesses, all the way down to those ground-level grunts who actually do the heavy lifting.

U.S. Grant -- National Archives

Great leaders like General U.S. Grant knew how important those front line foot soldiers were. That is why he sometimes got as close to his troops as possible so he could assess their morale and readiness for another fight. On one occasion, before the Battle of Vicksburg, he parked his horse at the end of a very narrow bridge and watched his men walk across. He had been done his share of front line work in the Mexican War and wanted his men to see he identified with them.

He also knew the importance of initiative. Decisive action is the responsibility of leaders. It's one of the reasons General Patton would get so annoyed with Britain's General Montgomery, whom he called Monty. For Patton, "A good plan today is better than a perfect plan tomorrow." Why, because tomorrow never comes. Because of our tendency to overthink things that "perfect plan" never comes.

The Latin proverb "Fortune favors the bold" has been adopted by military leaders throughout history. Boldness involves a willingness to take risks. If there was no risk involved, by definition it would hardly be a bold action or maneuver.

And so it was that Villanova kept at it, shooting those long ball hoops with an almost excessive exuberance, bold and beautiful. 'Twas a season to cherish that produced a championship as well.

* * * *

“The greatest risk to man is not that he aims too high and misses, but that he aims too low and hits.” ― Michaelangelo

Insights from the Marshmallow Experiment

"Sometimes when I consider what tremendous consequences come from little things... I am tempted to think there are no little things." ~ Barton Sutter

The other day I stumbled on an article about a Stanford research project that attempted to correlate a single aspect of human behavior as an indicator for future success or failure. The series of studies conducted by professor Walter Mischel came to be known as The Marshmallow Experiment.

The experiment was essentially about deferred gratification as a predictor of future achievement. James Clear describes the setup like this.

The experiment began by bringing each child into a private room, sitting them down in a chair, and placing a marshmallow on the table in front of them.

At this point, the researcher offered a deal to the child.

The researcher told the child that he was going to leave the room and that if the child did not eat the marshmallow while he was away, then they would be rewarded with a second marshmallow. However, if the child decided to eat the first one before the researcher came back, then they would not get a second marshmallow.

The researcher would leave for 15 minutes and then return. The team filmed the kids fidgeting, staring, and frequently succumbing.

What makes the experiment famous is that these children were then checked in on for the next 40 years. Mr. Clear summarizes the results:

The children who were willing to delay gratification and waited to receive the second marshmallow ended up having higher SAT scores, lower levels of substance abuse, lower likelihood of obesity, better responses to stress, better social skills as reported by their parents, and generally better scores in a range of other life measures.

* * * *

Take a minute to reflect on the ramifications of this experiment. And then consider this.

Can delayed gratification be taught? If the answer is yes, then success can be taught. Or at least the odds of achieving more successful life outcomes for our children can be favorably influenced.

When I was growing up in the Fifties our elementary school had some kind of arrangement in which we could deposit money in a bank account. Beginning in second grade my father gave me a dime for every A I received on my report card. The dimes were deposited in the bank. I also began to receive an allowance of a quarter a week.

What I learn with that allowance was powerful. We had a candy store a few blocks away, and if I wanted to I could ride my bike there and buy candy. My dad also brought my brother and I to the Lawson's Milk Store fairly frequently and they had a magazine rack there that was fun to peruse. Once a month the new Mad magazine came out and my quarter would be used for that. On the other hand, if I saved my quarter and waited till I had fifty cents, I could then buy a Famous Monsters of Filmland magazine. And if I skipped candy altogether and somehow saved four quarters, I could buy a model Revell battleship to assemble to put on a shelf in my room.

Delayed gratification, or deferred gratification, is the ability to resist the temptation for an immediate reward and wait for a later reward. Generally, delayed gratification is associated with resisting a smaller but more immediate reward in order to receive a larger or more enduring reward later.

Is this a behavior that parents can teach? Or were those children wired for failure as a result of genetic dispositions?

In psych 101 students learn that even pigeons can be taught to do a surprising number of things by means of incentives, including playing a primitive form of ping pong, by means of stimulus-reward arrangements. On the other hand, how many times have you seen parents in a grocery story line attempting to restrain a screaming four or five year old brat who wants a candy bar, and instead of making this a teachable moment, they reward the child's ranting. "I want it now!"

What about now, as adults? Is it too late for us if we've been poorly wired as kids? There's plenty of evidence to support a belief that inner change is not only possible but in most cases desirable. Here's that article on The Marshmallow Experiment.

Once we're set in our ways change is not easy. It begins with awareness. To quote the Little Engine That Could, it begins with an affirmation: "I think I can." If we persist, we will succeed. 

All Failure Is Not Created Equal

I used to know a publisher back in the 90s who had been a high school football coach before getting into magazine publishing as a career. He shared a story with me about failure that recently came to mind. The moral of the story is that not all failure is the same. There are different ways that we can fail, and it is important that we look it straight in the eye so we can understand what happened and take away something of value from it.

This publisher, whom we'll call Mike here (not his real name), was from Texas and as you probably know there's nothing quite like high school football in the Lone Star state. If you've ever been to Texas you understand the meaning of "everything's bigger in Texas." The streets are wider, the churches bigger, the football stadiums still bigger, even the sky seems bigger.

High school football is woven into the fabric of the culture. Even if you don't have kids, if you live in a small town going to home games on Friday nights is just something you do.

So Mike had been a winning football coach who got recruited to be head coach of a high school team that spent many years in a row floundering at 0 and 10. The whole town lived in perpetual frustration and it just seemed their hearts were being torn out every autumn, despite practicing more, trying harder, getting better equipment and all the rest. It was humiliating.

After examining the situation it became clear to Mike what the problem was. They were not crummier players than the kids in other schools. There just happened to be a very small pool because it was a smaller school. What he observed was that they were simply in the wrong league.

The solution was not a new coach or new equipment or longer workouts. The problem was resolved by placing the school in a different class, a class where they could be competitive. Once Mike recognized this, he lobbied for and succeeded in having the school placed in the next tier down. This did not automatically make them winners. They still had to practice, and play their hearts out.

In business and in life there are many causes of failure. Talented people can be placed in the wrong job slots. Sometimes there are systems that keep people back. Sometimes the culture fails to nurture talent. Sometimes leaders fail to recognize that they have created a "can't win" situation.

In at least one small Texas town a man became a hero because he came in with a new set of eyes and saw something the others didn't see.

Three thousand years ago David's approach to Goliath was different from his peers. They wanted him to put on a soldier's armor for that monumental and historic face-off. Instead, he set the armor aside -- an unconventional move -- and approached the giant seemingly unarmed except for his sling, and his confidence based on experience.

What do your giants look like? 

A Four-Letter Word

It is a much hated four letter word that begins with the letter F. Many people try to say that this word is not part of their vocabulary. It is usually synonymous with pain and no one likes to experience it. Yet it is a part of life and we all have to deal with it. The word is Fail.

Failure is one of life’s most challenging experiences, and how we react afterwards has a large bearing on what we will become.

Failure can run along a wide range of lines. For many reasons kids fail in school, some because of inadequate preparation, and other times perhaps due to personal handicaps that cause them to get behind and not have the support they need. They are lost in the shuffle, possibly shy, not a fighter for the teacher’s ear, blaming themselves instead of understanding that it could be circumstances set against them.

I knew a girl in college for whom a biology degree was out of reach because she failed chemistry class twice. Her dream went up in smoke, though maybe down the road something good came of it later. The experience was hard, and disheartening.

Failure in the job scene comes in a range of guises. Failure to get the job, failure to succeed in the job and that ultimate indignity of being dismissed from a job, these are just a few painfully harsh experiences. And such failures do an inner work on us that can distort our vision of ourselves. When we most need affirmation, that sting of rejection has an especially harsh edge.

I had an older friend years ago who used to sell real estate in the late sixties. He was the sole breadwinner in his family and the economy had taken a downturn. Selling houses was not easy, so he was under a lot of pressure. He said that women were entering the field who were not breadwinners, who were doing it for social reasons as well as income, but as a second income. The selling situation for them was free and easy, light and breezy. Buyers preferred doing business with these women because of the atmosphere created, as opposed to the repressed anxiety he was unable to conceal. This new variable ultimately resulted in his becoming a failure in real estate sales and he had to change careers.

An article called "Failure", Ode magazine October 2007, details how J.K.Rowling’s early failures became a springboard for her future success. Many other other high profile failures are cited, such as Henry Ford who went bankrupt numerous times before his car company found traction.

Good relationships, whether with friends, lovers or everything in between, can be one of the most rewarding things in life… and also the most painful when things turn. Finding a way to deal with the pain once a relationship falls apart is hard. First off, we do not have a clear picture of what is going on within us at the time. Second, the rejection is such a personal assault on our self esteem.

Ray Bradbury’s Something Wicked This Way Comes takes place in a small town where a travelling circus arrives, and its evil is palpable. In one scene the father of one of the main characters goes into the House of Mirrors late in the story and is stuck there, for what he sees are not distortions of himself, but rather images of his life, his failures. He is overcome with regret.

Regret is a great snare. While looking into the chasm that is our past, we must be careful not to become so hypnotized that we become paralyzed like this man in the Hall of Mirrors.

Failure is not an end, but a beginning. And there is no one who has ever achieved great things without at some point along the way coming to grips with it.

Failures of 2012

Many if not most periodicals do some kind of year-end review of the most significant events, or of people who passed away in the course of the year. It's much like a family's Christmas letter which summarizes what everyone has been doing since the last letter. Some folks dislike these letters because they see them as brag letters, but I find them helpful as a method for staying in touch with what is going on in others' lives. For some strange reason I woke up thinking it might be more interesting this morning to write about my 2012 failures instead of a blog about my achievements.

Throughout the year I kept a log of my daily blog posts from Jan 1 through today. This log/list began informally with the following entries...

Jan 1 best of 2011 interviews part 2
Jan 2 11/22/63 part 1
Jan 3 Fellini Quote as lead in to Dali Museum story

Preceding this list of dates and entries I had a short "to do" list of projects and goals for the year. It's a surprising list because when I reviewed it a couple days ago, I realized that I had accomplished not a single one of these projects or goals.

I received an email from another writer who said her goal for 2013 was to "Fail more, care less." For me, 2012 was my year of failures in some regards, and I don't mind so much because of all the great moments in between the stints of pushing my boulder up the hill only to watch it roll down again. (cf. the myth of Sisyphus)

2012 has been all the more interesting because it followed a 2011 in which I achieved something that surprised even me, I found a young partner to form a publishing company by means of which I published a novel and three books of fiction. (Feel free to follow N&L Publishing on Facebook.)

My expectation was for a continuation of that trend, so I was surprised to end the year with a list in which I accomplished not a lick. To be honest, this list was not written in its entirety on Jan 1. It was expanded during the first months of the year as I slid forward through time.

2012 PROJECTS/GOALS/OBJECTIVES 
1. Promote books
2. Book on How to Teach Writing
3. Find agent for The Red Scorpion as film
4. Ralph Kand story as book
5. Paint Kennedy/Oswald Series
     Six pictures on illustraton board
6. Create a Dylan exhibit for Dylan Days
7. September Red Mug Show
8. Book of Interviews
9. Book on arts with Ann K
10. Write a Steampunk Short Story. Begin with Whisk Biscuit.
11. Intergalactica book

Fail.... Fail... Fail... 

Number five on the list was influenced by visiting Dallas in 2011 and then reading Stephen King's book over New Years. The Red Mug show was offered at one point in late 2011 but good heavens, I was tired just thinking about it. I still think my novel The Red Scorpion would make a great film, with a strong potential for a sequel, but someone else will have to champion that. These things aren't easy to do when you also have a full-time career that pays all your bills and puts food on the table. Short stories are easier to finish, and for now I have two really very interesting ones going that are getting me jazzed.

There were other failures as well, more personal and laden with lessons.

And so, on the threshold of 2013 I look ahead uncertain as to what will unfold, but knowing that it will be an interesting year. I'm guessing that some of the writing projects will move forward as some of the art goals fall by the wayside. For now, my painting will remain something therapeutic on an as need basis. Or at least, that's how it appears from today's vantage point.

I'd like to sing more, too. But you can't do everything. Or so they say.

Here's a poem that I published at ennyman.com several years ago that perhaps touches on this theme tangentially. It's called Falliing Too Far.

Falling Too Far

Like Icarus
I have flown too high
to heights that I
cannot sustain
propelled by love
to touch the sun
and burn my wings
again.

Have a great weekend. Reflect on your year, and embrace the possibilities of Tomorrow.