Throwback Thursday: A Zappa Quotebook, Revisited

SEVEN YEARS AGO YESTERDAY

While blog surfing I came across a collection of quotes attributed to Frank Zappa. Many are quite poignant. Others reflect his wit and somewhat amusing ways of turning a phrase.

In many ways he stood alone, dedicated to the craft of his art and inner vision. Over a three decade period he produced as many as sixty albums, with few becoming commercially successful. Not surprisingly, Zappa’s creative commitments made him uncompromising. He would not be a sell out for fame, and was reputedly an exceedingly demanding taskmaster in the studio. Sloppiness was not acceptable in an artist.

Zappa’s canvas was anything, no holds barred. Thus he stood against religion which he believed set arbitrary boundaries on where an artist could explore. He likewise opposed recreational drug use, which was permeated the music scene at the time his star was rising.

It takes little effort with Google to find more than your money can buy in terms of Zappa data. So, if you want more, you know where to go. Here’s a collection of quotes purportedly originating with da man.

"Jazz is not dead, it just smells funny."

"Stupidity is the basic building block of the universe."

"Tobacco is my favorite vegetable."

"There is no hell. There is only France."

"Without music to decorate it, time is just a bunch of boring production deadlines or dates by which bills must be paid."

"It is always advisable to be a loser if you cannot become a winner."

"A mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work if it’s not open."

"If we can’t be free at least we can be cheap."

"Sometimes you’ve got to get sick before you can feel better."

"There will never be a nuclear war; there’s too much real estate involved."

"Why do you necessarily have to be wrong just because a few million people think you are?"

"Outdoors for me is walking from the car to the ticket desk at the airport."

"You drank beer, you played golf, you watched football -- WE EVOLVED!"

Interviewer: "So Frank, you have long hair. Does that make you a woman?"
Zappa: "You have a wooden leg. Does that make you a table?"

"Without deviation from the norm, ’progress’ is not possible."

"Hey, you know something people? I’m not black, but there’s a whole lots a times I wish I could say I’m not white."

"Most people wouldn’t know good music if it came up and bit them in the ass."

"Politics is the entertainment branch of industry."

"There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life."

"Let’s not be too rough on our own ignorance, it’s what makes America great."

"Information is not knowledge. Knowledge is not wisdom. Wisdom is not truth. Truth is not beauty. Beauty is not love. Love is not music. Music is THE BEST."

"The creation and destruction of harmonic and ’statistical’ tensions is essential to the maintenance of compositional drama. Any composition (or improvisation) which remains consonant and ’regular’ throughout is, for me, equivalent to watching a movie with only ’good guys’ in it, or eating cottage cheese."

Fade to black.

Frank Zappa: 1940-1993


Most of the images of Zappa on this page were created over a period of two nights for the purpose of embellishing this collection of quotes which were assembled for a blog post here in 2008.

A Medley of Snippets from Around the Web: Elon Musk, Frank Zappa, The Beatles, Dave Barry and More

Lunch hour medley. (Photo by the author)

Medley: a varied mixture of people or things; a miscellany.

I keep running across things I want to share, few of which I'd consider a blog post on its own without my having to do more work to make it seem important. For this reason I've decided to batch them here and call it a Medley.

* * *

Let's start with Thursday's StockTwits Daily Rip  which had this item about Elon Musk:

His net worth is now approximately $188B, which means that if you stacked up his net worth in $100 bills, the stack would be 142 miles high. That’s ... a lot.

Musk’s recent jump in net worth is tied to his equity in Tesla, which is up over 535% since he tweeted the stock price was too high last year.

* * * 

My fave painting of Zappa. See it at Goin' Postal in Superior.

Last night someone sent me this quote from Frank Zappa, who made a name for himself living on the fringe while challenging the status quo, regarding the nature of freedom in America:

"The illusion of freedom will continue for as long as it's profitable to continue the illusion. At the point where the illusion becomes too expensive to maintain, they will take down the scenery, move the tables and chairs out of the way, then they will pull back the curtains and you will see the brick wall at the back of the theater." 

* * * 

And yes, The Beatles are back. (Have they ever really gone?) As some of you may have heard, producer/director/screenwriter Peter Jackson (Lord of the Rings) has been working on a new documentary on The Beatles called Get Back. I believe it was supposed to be out in 2020 but -- like so many things in the year of Covid -- was held up for a season. Jackson has whet our appetites by producing a trailer that he deliberately declares is not a trailer. Whatever. It's a teaser then. Watch it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UocEGvQ10OE

* * * 

When it comes to humorists, Dave Barry is one of my favorites. I've listened to countless Dave Barry audiobooks, most of which are compiled from his columns in the Miami Herald. The Pulitzer Prize-winning writer is now retired but still writing. I mean, why not? I am a writer and I've said more than a few dozen times, when asked what I am going to do when I retied, I say, "Well, I write until I'm 85, then decide after that." 

For all you trivia buffs, my Ennyman's Territory blog currently, as of Thursday the 7th, has had 2,663,288 pageviews and yesterday, for some reason over 7000 people visited the site, which means something here went viral because I usually only have about a thousand except last winter when I was a celebrity for a season and averaged two to three thousand a day. Funny how that works. 

All this is lead in to some Dave Barry quotes.

A number of years ago I sent Dave Barry a letter asking if he went to my high school in New Jersey, that there had been a Dave Barry in my class at one time. I may have told him the story about how Dave Barry and another guy and two girls were in a VW smoking a joint at the top of a cliff, but forgot to put the brakes on and the Bug rolled forward and fell over the edge. Fortunately it landed upside down in some trees and no one was killed. 

Dave Barry. (Creative Commons)

Dave Barry the humorist actually replied. He sent me a post card, and yes, the comments were amusing. And no, he never went to high school with me.

The audio book I am currently "reading" is I'll Mature When I'm Dead. I believe this is his first book after retiring or it may be his third, but the chapters a sometimes longer than his columns. Here are some excerpts.

If Man A asks Man B for directions, Man B, realizing that Man A is a weak, direction-asking type of male who probably also reads owner's manuals, could decide to attack Man A's village and plunder his women. Man A is not about to run that type of risk.   p. 27

* * *  

There were automobiles, but they lacked many of the features that automobiles have today, such as a working motor. In the Barry household, we had a series of cars named (these were all real Barry cars) the "Rambler," the "Minx," the "Metropolitan," and the "Valiant." You could rely on these cars- rain or shine, hot or cold- to not start. The "Metropolitan," in particular, was no more capable of internal combustion than of producing a litter of puppies.   p. 54

* * * 

The American newspaper industry is in serious trouble. How serious? Consider: In 1971, when I was hired for my first newspaper job, there were 62 million newspaper subscribers in the United States; today, there are twelve, an estimated five of whom are dead and therefore unlikely to renew.   p. 185

* * * 

I think that parents -- not all of them, but a lot of them -- are sucking the fun out of kids' sports. They're making it clear to their kids that they think sports is about winning, and only winning. This is a reasonable value to instill if you honestly believe your child is going to become a professional athlete. But you need to remember two things: 1. Your child is not, in fact, going to become a professional athlete. 2. There are more important things in life than winning. Such as not being a jerk.    p. 244-45

* * * 

If you've never read Dave Barry and don't know his work, well, um, like what planet are you from? No, that's OK. Here's a link to excerpts from his various books. And to show you how humorists can be serious and not simply going for laughs, here are a couple quote from his Dave Barry Slept Here: A Short History of the United States.

So there's no question about it: by the mid-fifties, America was definitely in a Golden Era, an era of excitement and opportunity for all citizens, regardless of race or creed or color, unless the person happened to be black. Then there was a problem.    p. 137-38 

Thus was born the civil rights movement, an epic struggle that has required much sacrifice and pain, but which has enabled the United States to progress, in just three decades, from being a nation where blacks were forced to ride in the back of the bus, to being a nation where, due to federal cutbacks, there is no bus.    p. 138

* * *

Now I know some of you may be wondering how I could put page numbers on quotes from an audio book. The answer to that question, friends, is here on Wikiquote.

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Related Links

Frank Zappa Explains Why the 60s Music Scene Was Such a Kick

Dave Barry Does Japan

Top 10 Blog Posts of 2020 at Ennyman's Territory

Well, here we are, finishing off another year. With the end in view, it's often a good time to look back over our shoulder to see what has happened before saying a last goodbye. 

What follows are my Top 10 blog posts from 2020, a year like no other that most of us have experienced. It may not have been the worst year in human history, but it has certainly been an unsettling year for most, especially those who lost a loved one this year.

On January 1 my daughter Christina had the first NYTimes crossword puzzle of the new decade. That was a pretty exciting start to the year for us. (One of her puzzles will be appearing January 5 in 2021, fwiw.)  

Most of us probably never heard of Zoom at the beginning of the year. By April all of us were aware of this company that helped isolated people connect. If you bought stock in the company in the first quarter, your investment would have increased over 500%. 

The hardest hit businesses were those in the travel and tourism industries. Duluth, being a tourist town, has taken a financial hit this year, as have hotels, restaurants, airlines and others in the hospitality sector. 110,000 restaurants have closed permanently or long term as a result of the restrictions implemented after the pandemic arrived. 

Add to this the racial tensions, triggered by the George Floyd incident and amplified by social media, and I suspect there are a lot of people eager to turn the page. 

The divisive manner in which  these and other issues have been addressed is almost more unsettling than the events themselves. It's probably a fantasy to hope for leadership that will seek bi-partisan solutions by means of honest and open dialogue and transparent decision making. The Machiavellian nature of our two-party system is clearly not serving the best interest of the masses.

* * *

That being said.... here are the  top blog posts of 2020 according to page views.  If you've been a regular reader these past 14 years, thank you. Did you have a favorite E.T. blog post from 2020 that isn't here? Feel free to share in the comments.

EdNote: Each title below is hotlinked to the original story. Enjoy.

#10
Midnight in Chernobyl: Adam Higginbothm's Explosive Story About What Really Happened

#9

The Ten Principles of the Georgia Guidestones, America's Strangest Monument

#8

Dylan Indeed Contains Multitudes

#7

Duluth Does Clapton: Sacred Heart Kicks Off 2020 with a Bang

#6

Dylan and Gates (Not Ol' Bill)

#5

The Bob Dylan Archives of Tony Glover to be Up for Auction Beginning November 12

#4

Packers Bobby Dillon Elected to Hall of Fame Has Surprising Connection to Bob Dylan Besides the Name

#3

Frank Zappa Explains Why the 60s Music Scene Scene Was Such a Kick

 

#2

That Thin Wild Mercury Sound by Daryl Sanders Turns Readers into Blonde On Blonde Insiders

#1

Is This Something That Was On Dylan's Mind When He Wrote High Water (For Charley Patton)?

Frank Zappa Explains Why the 60s Music Scene Scene Was Such a Kick

Last week I shared some of the songs that brought to mind memories of various people who were important to me in one way or another. One of these songs was the zany one-hit-wonder They're Coming to Take Me Away Haha. Assuming you're familiar with the song (and I won't blame you if you're not), have you ever noticed the similarity between the opening notes (no notes, but percussion) and the intro to Bob Dylan's Rainy Day Women #12 & 35.

It's not identical, but similar, until Dylan adds that Salvation Army Band accompaniment, including trombone, the slide trombone being the second most memorable feature of the background players, the heartfelt laughter being first--none of which detracts in any way from the lyrics, which have nothing to do with rainy day women and everything to do with the punch line.

So, the question on the table is this: How did all those crazy songs like They're Coming to Take Me Away Haha get produced, and even promoted?

First off, silly songs had always peppered the pop charts, and were no doubt features of traditional folk music from the Hngarian hills to the Scottish Highlands. Nevertheless they became more visible via the advent of radio, and that didn't start in the Sixties either. Examples include the Monster Mash (1962), Flying Purple People Eater (1958), and Alley-Oop (1960).

But the late Sixties, when I was in high school, gave us plenty of unexpected music that one would be hard pressed to find a record label for today. Here are just a few memorable tunes that may bring back memories if you're a Boomer: Snoopy vs. The Red Baron, Wild Thing, Green Tambourine and Gitarzan to name a few.

Painting by the author.

Bob Hoffman, in his new book Advertising For Skeptics, shared an insight from Frank Zappa about why this period in pop music was such a swirl of creativity. Here's a link to a 1987 interview where Zappa explains the decline of the music business.  

The 60s were a time of transition where book publishing and the music industry weren't sure what would or would not work in the marketplace. I've written elsewhere about how the New York publishing houses eventually got out of the religious market because they were getting pummeled by not understanding the Jesus Movement.

In the music scene they're attitude was something akin to throwing spaghetti on the wall to see what stuck. They were often surprised.

“One thing that did happen in the 60s,” he (Zappa) says, “was some music of an unusual and experimental nature did get recorded, did get released.” The executives of the day were “cigar-chomping old guys who looked at the product and said, 'I don’t know. Who knows what it is? Record it, stick it out. If it sells, alright!'”


Freak Out (Mothers of Invention) was born in this spirit, as was "They're Coming To Take Me Away, Haha."

That's all for now. The doorknob's broke.

Related Link
Zappa Quotebook

A Zappa Quotebook, Page One

While blog surfing I came across a collection of quotes attributed to Frank Zappa. Many are quite poignant. Others reflect his wit and somewhat amusing ways of turning a phrase.

In many ways he stood alone, dedicated to the craft of his art and inner vision. Over a three decade period he produced as many as sixty albums, with few becoming commercially successful. Not surprisingly, Zappa’s creative commitments made him uncompromising. He would not be a sell out for fame, and was reputedly an exceedingly demanding taskmaster in the studio. Sloppiness was not acceptable in an artist.

Zappa’s canvas was anything, no holds barred. Thus he stood against religion which he believed set arbitrary boundaries on where an artist could explore. He likewise opposed recreational drug use, which was permeated the music scene at the time his star was rising.

It takes little effort with Google to find more than your money can buy in terms of Zappa data. So, if you want more, you know where to go. Here’s a collection of quotes purportedly originating with da man.

"Jazz is not dead, it just smells funny."

"Stupidity is the basic building block of the universe."

"Tobacco is my favorite vegetable."

"There is no hell. There is only France."

"Without music to decorate it, time is just a bunch of boring production deadlines or dates by which bills must be paid."

"It is always advisable to be a loser if you cannot become a winner."

"A mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work if it’s not open."

"If we can’t be free at least we can be cheap."

"Sometimes you’ve got to get sick before you can feel better."

"There will never be a nuclear war; there’s too much real estate involved."

"Why do you necessarily have to be wrong just because a few million people think you are?"

"Outdoors for me is walking from the car to the ticket desk at the airport."

"You drank beer, you played golf, you watched football -- WE EVOLVED!"

Interviewer: "So Frank, you have long hair. Does that make you a woman?"
Zappa: "You have a wooden leg. Does that make you a table?"

"Without deviation from the norm, ’progress’ is not possible."

"Hey, you know something people? I’m not black, but there’s a whole lots a times I wish I could say I’m not white."

"Most people wouldn’t know good music if it came up and bit them in the ass."

"Politics is the entertainment branch of industry."

"There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life."

"Let’s not be too rough on our own ignorance, it’s what makes America great."

"Information is not knowledge. Knowledge is not wisdom. Wisdom is not truth. Truth is not beauty. Beauty is not love. Love is not music. Music is THE BEST."

"The creation and destruction of harmonic and ’statistical’ tensions is essential to the maintenance of compositional drama. Any composition (or improvisation) which remains consonant and ’regular’ throughout is, for me, equivalent to watching a movie with only ’good guys’ in it, or eating cottage cheese."

Fade to black.

Frank Zappa: 1940-1993


Most of the images of Zappa on this page were created over a period of two nights for the purpose of embellishing this collection of quotes which were assembled for a blog post here in 2008.

Six Things You Didn't Know About Mark Volman Plus a Lesson About Contracts

The Turtles were a 60's pop rock group with a distinctive feel-good sound and a handful of hit singles, "Happy Together" being their most memorable. Co-founded by Mark Volman and Howard Kaylan, the Turtles made national headlines when they were invited to perform at Tricia Nixon's wedding at the White House.

Here are five things you might not have known about Mark "Flo" Volman:

1. First rock n roll band to perform in the White House.
I knew the Turtles performed in at Nixon's daughter's wedding, but I'd not remembered they were the first rock 'n roll band to perform there.

2. Snorted coke on Abraham Lincoln's desk.
Volman 'fesses up in this Rolling Stone excerpt from his book Shell Shocked: My Life with the Turtles. I bet they weren't the only ones to have ever done this. I've heard rumors, and maybe you've heard them, too...

3. He insured his hair for $100,000 against fire, theft or loss due to illness.
I guess if you have assets, you need to insure them, right?

4. After the band folded the terms of their contract forbade Volman and Kaylan from using their real names again in a group. 
This explains why they performed as Flo and Eddie after that. And this is the primary lesson from today's blog post. Read your contracts.

5. After leaving the Turtles Flo and Eddie were recruited by Frank Zappa.
This explains why that guy in 200 Motels looked so much like that front man from the Turtles. Flo and Eddie cut their teeth on the possibilities of rock and became core players in The Mothers of Invention. As of a couple years ago Flo and Eddie were still doing 60 concerts a year.

6. He's also a Youth Advisor in the Presbyterian Church he attends.
According to Wikipedia, "Volman runs his businesses with his wife, Emily Volman, who met each other as college sweethearts. They are also active members of Harpeth Presbyterian Church in Brentwood, Tennessee, where they both invest their time as Youth Advisors."

Meantime, life goes on all around you. Enjoy the music.