Showing posts with label stress. Show all posts
Showing posts with label stress. Show all posts

Sunday, June 29, 2025

Bob Dylan's Malibu House Clipping Brings Back Memories

From time to time I get asked where Bob Dylan lives now. I interpret this to mean how many houses does he own, and answer as if this were the question. To this I reply that he has a property next door to his brother David on the Crow River, a little West of the Twin Cities, an oceanfront property in Malibu and a third property in Scotland. 

What brought to mind his Malibu house was an article I uncovered in the archives of our Duluth Public Library. (above) Here's the story from the Associated Press that appeared in the Minneapolis Star, September 8, 1976.

Bob Dylan builds a $2 million mishmash


MALIBU, Calif. (AP) Perched high above the cliffs of Malibu looms a spawling architectural wonder that a building Inspector calls a "terrible mishmash," but Bob Dylan soon will call it home.


The dwelling--part ranch house, part castle--reportedly is costing the singer-songwriter nearly $2 million. Dozens of artisans and craftsmen have worked several years to give it a folksy, handcrafted appearance.


A huge onion-shaped dome protrudes from the center section, creating the impression that "someone dropped a clump of ice cream," according to one neighbor.


"THE DOME originally was going to be an eagle's nest, you know, just a little hideaway," said architect Dave Towbin, who has been in on the project since it started several years ago. "Then it was going to be an observatory, then something else, and now it's an onion-shaped copper dome." Towbin says the place has "taken on several new directions," an architect's way of saying it has been rebuilt more times than he can count.

"But I think the house hangs together pretty well for the form it is," he said. "It's kind of hard to put a label on it, but I guess I'd call it stick-and-timber eclectic."


IN THE back, Dylan has constructed a huge pool, with plenty of room for his five kids and their friends. "It's a lake," one observer noted. 


The project started out as a $50,000 remodeling of a house that once belonged to a Los Angeles Times columnist, said Towbin, "but then the thing began to grow and grow and grow, and a lot of things began to change." Whatever Dylan's Malibu creation is, he can be sure there's nothing like it anywhere in the world.


"It's kind of unreal," said one Malibu resident of his famous neighbor's new home, "But if he can stand it, I can."


* * * 

Stumbling across this article unearthed a memory that lay dormant in the back of my mind for decades. I vaguely recall reading somewhere at some time that this house contributed to the dissolution of Dylan's marriage to Sara Lownds, a marriage that spanned more than a decade, ending in June 1977, when their divorce was finalized. 

The memory I have is that Bob was so distracted by his career he failed to work much on completing the house, compounding the stress on their relationship. I know from experience and observation that home construction projects can strain relationships due to financial costs, decision-making conflicts, and disruptions to daily life. 

After researching further, I learned a little more about that challenging period. While the slow construction progress in the 1970s likely added stress to Dylan’s marriage to Sara, given its cost and disruption, there’s no definitive evidence it was a primary cause of their 1977 divorce. Instead, Dylan’s infidelity, frequent absences, and personal struggles (e.g., substance abuse, fame) were likely more significant factors, as evidenced by Sara’s eviction of him in 1974 and the emotional weight of Blood on the Tracks.

The Dylans moved to Malibu in 1973, selling their Woodstock home to purchase the property on Point Dume, initially renting actor Martin Milner’s house while their estate was built. Construction was ambitious, with features like a tile factory on-site and a focus on custom, artisanal work. The project was described as a “real castle” rising from the earth, with a whale-watching tower and themed rooms, indicating a complex, time-intensive build.

    Dylan’s Malibu estate, located in the Point Dume neighborhood, is a sprawling, eclectic compound that reflects his artistic personality and penchant for privacy. Purchased in 1979 for $105,000, the property has been expanded over the years through the acquisition of neighboring lots, transforming it into a 6,000-square-foot residence with six bedrooms and seven bathrooms. Below is a detailed description based on available sources:


    The house blends rustic-modern, coastal, and Mediterranean influences, described as a “visual symphony” of sleek modern lines and traditional aesthetics. It features a mix of American Victorian, Mediterranean, and New Mexico-inspired elements, with a focus on artistic and vintage touches.


    The centerpiece is a circular room beneath a massive copper dome, visible from afar, which some have noted makes the house stand out in Malibu’s landscape. Other features include a whale-watching tower, a cathedral room, a storytelling room, and extensive use of handmade Malibu tiles (with a tile factory set up on-site during construction). The property also has a million dollars’ worth of custom tile work, blacksmith-worked iron accents, and antique furnishings curated by designer Martin Newman, who worked closely with Dylan.


    No primary sources explicitly link the house’s construction to the divorce that I am aware of. Biographers like Howard Sounes and Michael Gray emphasize Dylan’s infidelity, lifestyle, and the emotional toll of his career as primary drivers of the split.


    When Dylan was evicted by Sara in 1974, the marriage was already deteriorating, as evidenced by his stay at the Malibu Riviera Motel. Construction, while ongoing, was not yet at its most intensive phase, suggesting other relational issues took precedence.


    When he's not on the road, the house purportedly remains Dylan’s primary residence, a private retreat that has weathered wildfires and criticism, much like his career. 


    * * * 

    For what it's worth, when I was an student in college I imagined my future home being an eclectic design, small a first with a new addition added annually in a different style, each reflecting a different period in art history. In retrospect I have to laugh out loud at the impracticality of it all. Where would I put it? And how could I afford it?


    Bob found a place for his dream house, and he likely didn't have to worry about what it cost. With able assistance, the home is in harmony with the laws of physics and, like Dylan himself, there's indeed nothing like it in the world.


    Related Link
    A Few Comments on Bob Dylan's Malibu by Martin Newman

    Tuesday, November 13, 2018

    When Holiday Stress Is Amplified By Grief

    "The death of a beloved is an amputation."--C.S. Lewis, A Grief Observed

    Illustration by the author.
    Stress during the holidays comes in many forms. Expectations, activities and last minute shopping all contribute. There are additional stresses for divorced couples with children who must deal with conflicting schedules and efforts to max out quality time with grandparents. This even gets more complicated when divorced couples re-marry and there are four sets of grandparents involved.

    This morning I wanted to write about another kind of stressor. It has to do with the challenge of the holidays when we are experiencing the loss of a loved one. Whether a parent, spouse or child (and we should never have to bury our children) if the loss has been within the current year then this is the first Thanksgiving and the first Christmas without that important person in our lives. There's an empty chair at the table, a tangible reminder of your loss.

    Over the course of a lifetime I've heard many painful stories. A father's suicide, a husband's suicide, a wife's life cut short by cancer, a son killed in a skiing accident. Even when you are emotionally healthy and strong, the holidays can open wounds and show that our internal healing is not yet complete.

    Grieving the loss of a loved one is always hard but especially so during the holidays when you experience that first Thanksgiving without Joe or that first Christmas without Janet.

    One reason the pain is exacerbated is that in your heart you know the holidays are supposed to be a time of cheer, of celebration, a time to make memories for your children or share them with that other significant person in your life. As a result, when you try to hide your pain it only leaves you more alienated, walled off and hollowed out. When everyone us is celebrating and we're inwardly struggling to maintain it can be hard.

    Grief is one of those inexplicable phenomena that is different for everyone. It is a mistake to think something is wrong with you for still carrying this burden. We all process grief differently. Some things just take more time.

    *
    On numerous occasions over the years I've shared my brother's insights on handling stress during the holidays. My brother is a psychologist who writes about finding balance when dealing with anxiety, stress, anger, etc. In 2017 he produced a guest post on seeking balance when experiencing grief which I believe can be useful.

    Sometimes we need to go further than write in a journal or unburden ourselves with a confidant. Sometimes we may need a professional counsellor whom we can talk with. Earlier this fall I learned about an online consortium of of therapists called TalkSpace. who provide assistance in this area, whether for you or a loved one you care about.

    I never grew up Catholic, but upon reflection I can imagine the possibility that there could be something therapeutic in having a space where one can go to unburden oneself in an atmosphere of trust, where one's confidences will not be violated. This is what a doctor-patient relationship is about, enabling us to get help probing things that maybe we have a hard time facing alone.

    I have no experience with TalkSpace myself. Here is a link to a testimony that was shared at Business Insider.

    One way we can all reduce stress a little is to plan ahead and get our holiday shopping finished early this year.

    Related Links
    A comparison of two alternative online therapy processes.
    Healing the Hurting Through Music
    10 Classical Favorites That Can Lift You Higher

    Disclaimer: This blog occasionally accepts forms of compensation for writing about certain topics. In all cases it is my intention to provide honest opinions, findings, beliefs, or experiences on those topics, events, or products. The views and opinions expressed here are my own. The references to TalkSpace are "sponsored content" but I would not write about them if I were aware of any red flags.

    Thursday, December 21, 2017

    Throwback Thursday: Holiday's Can Be Stressful, But...

    Nearly every year around this time I post my brother's article about holiday stress and things you can do to alleviate it. The feedback I get has been evidence that the season isn't always jolly with ho-ho-hoes while we're decking the halls and splitting logs for the yule-tide fire. If you need a little encouragement in this regard, and a handful of practical wise words, read Dr. Ron Newman's Holiday Ups and Downs.

    On the other hand, a few words in defense of holiday stress might be in order.

    Stress, or the pressure that comes from responsibilities, isn't all bad. I'm not going to say it's fun. But it can be rewarding. Here are some examples.

    We have made it annual tradition to write a Christmas letter that we send to friends and family. It updates them on what our children are doing and what we've been up to. There's a sense in which it keeps us connected to the people we care about, something which is healthy in a post-modern world where so many connections have been broken.

    Even if you don't write a letter, just sending pictures or even a card requires addressing envelopes, staying organized, keeping current with addresses of people in your life. It takes time and could be perceived as a burden of sorts, but doing it has hidden benefits. One is that we're elevating this season in some way, marking the passing of a year by not letting it pass unmarked, unnoticed, just another season.

    There are other things most of us do that we don't have to. We put up trees and lights, we go to parties. Some spend an evening or afternoon visiting shut-ins and singing carols. And there's always the shopping that needs to be taken care of. If you're not in the right frame of mind, those lines can be stressful.

    What I've found, though, is that years later the memories created by family traditions can comfort us like a warm blanket and hot cocoa. Here's an excerpt from an email I received from my daughter when she was living in China a few years ago. It reflects the variety of traditions that were built into our family Decembers.

    I really miss singing Christmas carols!!! ... I was just thinking of when we'd sing Christmas songs on the way to get the tree, and we'd sing Frosty the Snowman and we'd always get mixed up on the words. haha. Getting the Christmas tree and decorating it I think is my favorite Christmas tradition, the one I have most memories of... it was so special to all be together, singing, and being excited for Christmas... Christmas eve was always almost more exciting than Christmas, too, with the suspense of everything. watching A Christmas Carol as a family, reading together and putting out the cookies for Santa...

    I share all this because even when the feelings aren't there -- you're tired or burned out or going through a hard time -- next year will probably be different. We don't scrap traditions because we're not in the mood. These traditions have hidden rewards and give continuity to ourselves and our families.

    Please note: I do understand the emotions of those for whom the excessive commercializing of Christmas has become odious. The "reason for the season" was the birth of an infant born into a poor family in a stable, in a country oppressed by a foreign power. It's an almost crazy setting for the birth of a king. And how that event turned into long lines at the mall I'm not quite sure.

    All this to say that traditions have value. Each family benefits by shaping its traditions for another generation. It's a beautiful thing.

    Thursday, November 1, 2012

    Are You Stressed?

    "The world is too big for us, too much is going on, too many crimes, too much violence and excitement. Try as you will, you get behind in the race in spite of yourself. It's a constant strain to keep pace... and still, you lose ground. Science empties its discoveries on you so fast that you stagger beneath them in hopeless bewilderment. The political world is news seen rapidly, you're out of breath trying to keep pace with who's in and who's out. Everything is high pressure. Human nature can't endure much more." 
    ~ Atlantic Journal, June 16, 1883 

    Can you believe it? This was written more than 120 years ago.

    For sure there are pressures on us all. For many, it is simply the weight of our personal responsibilities. For others it may be the difficulty of living under a tyranny. How do we deal with it?

    Everyone needs a safe harbor, a place to get away. A place to find rest when weary. For some, getting back to nature is a wonderful escape. Others find refuge in their hobbies. For many, relief is found in their faith. Christians, for example, find comfort in the words of their Lord when he says, "Come unto me all you who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest."

    It seems almost comical when the writer from the Atlantic Journal states, "Human nature can't endure much more." It depends, I would suggest, on where you are sitting.

    This blog entry has been reprinted with my permission, from Ennyman's Territory, July 31, 2007

    Photo: Cuernavaca, Mexico, 1980

    Saturday, December 22, 2007

    Holiday Ups and Downs

    COPING WITH HOLIDAY STRESS
    by Dr. Ron Newman

    When you think of the Christmas Holiday season, what comes to your mind? Some people get excited about the decorations, music, presents, or the real "reason for the season." Others, however, get anxious about potential family conflicts, frantic busyness, crowds and long lines at the shopping mall. It is not unusual for people to have mixed emotions, including loneliness, depression, and grief over lost loved ones who will no longer be physically present to share in the holiday spirit.

    What follows are some principles that may help you have a more enjoyable Christmas season.

    A) Strengthen Relationships.
    The holiday offers a unique opportunity to rebuild relationships. Recognize the value of those relationships, and focus on those relationships that you want to strengthen -- perhaps for the other person's benefit as well as your own. Even if you are experiencing your own sense of loneliness, resist the temptation to isolate yourself. Reach out to others who may have a similar need. The most meaningful experiences in life are in the context of our relationships with others.

    B) Learn to say "No."
    We often become overwhelmed at the holidays because of our difficulty in saying no to people. We sometimes allow others to determine how we use our time. Being assertive regarding those situations is necessary for our own sanity. This guideline is meant to help balance the goal of building relationships, but is not intended as a rationale for unhealthy isolation of oneself.

    C) Practice Forgiveness.
    Holidays can remind us of the unresolved conflicts we have with others. In the spirit of Christmas, we can sometimes face those relationships in a new light as we seek tounderstand, accept, and let go of past hurts. Or perhaps it is a good time for us to approach someone we have hurt to offer our own apology and seek reconciliation. This may not always be possible or advisable, if the other person is not "safe," but in most relationships there is room for more mercy.

    D) Maintain a Sense of Humor.
    If we take ourselves or others too seriously, we risk losing our own positive attitude about the holidays. A merry heart is good medicine. Learn to laugh at the long lines,forgotten presents and last minute shopping, etc. A negative attitude will only bring you down, but will not change the circumstances you are in.

    E) Maintain Good Health Habits.
    As with any stress management program, you want to get sufficient exercise, adequate sleep, and a balanced nutritional intake (beware of the excesses). Holidays are fraught with temptations of all sorts that can throw you body off balance and make the holidays less satisfying.

    F) Sing and Enjoy the Music.
    Music is good for the soul, and singing has many psychological as well as physical benefits. For one thing, it cleans out the stale air in your lungs! It has the ability to stir up every type of emotion, but during the holiday season it's good to be reminded of a more optimistic outlook on life.

    G) Thoughtful Planning.
    Goal setting and making plans to achieve those goals are necessary elements to success in life. The same is true regarding our success in navigating the pitfalls of the holiday season.

    1. List your goals. Brainstorming all that you want to accomplish can be a helpful first step in this regard. This should include relationships as well as tasks.

    2. Prioritize your goals. You want to be clear what is most important to you, otherwise you may end up doing what is easiest first, and not have time for what is really your highest value.

    3. Remind yourself repeatedly of your goals. Put them on the refrigerator, on the calendar, in your daytimer, or whatever works for you. Just donít forget them, which is our tendency if we don't have a system to remind us.

    4. Delegate when possible. If time management is particularly difficult for you, delegation of responsibilities becomes very important. Perhaps you do not have to buy all of the presents for everybody, or you do not have to cook the entire meal by yourself!

    The above principles can help you enjoy your holiday to the fullest extent and avoid those inherent pitfalls.

    Merry Christmas!
    Ronald S. Newman, Ph.D. is a licensed psychologist in New Jersey withover 20 years of experience in the mental health field. He has been a popular speaker both in New Jersey and in South America where he makes annual trips for the purposes of teaching and training. This article originally appeared in Ecobyte.

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