Are You Too Busy for New Connections?

Still friends after all these years.

When my wife Susie and I returned from Mexico after the second year of our marriage, a friend suggested we visit Bethel Temple in St. Paul. He raved about the good people, solid pastoral care, and vibrant worship. It was a very special place, he said, in the heart of the Twin Cities. I believe he even repeated “good people” for emphasis, which stuck with me. 

After the service on the first Sunday we went, a friendly, blonde-haired man greeted us with a warmth that felt genuine. His name was Henry, and our conversation flowed effortlessly. He was on a wavelength I instantly connected with—thoughtful, engaging, and genuine.

I could tell Henry was someone I wanted to know better, but I also sensed he had a very busy life. The way he moved through the crowd, balancing greetings and tasks, I could tell this was a role he played here, making a conscious effort to welcome visitors and get them connected to the fellowship. 

As we were talking later I blurted out, in my somewhat direct way, “Is your life too busy to have another friend?” It was a bold ask, but after a pause in which he no dubt did a quick internal inventory of his commitments, Henry’s gracious smile said it all. Despite his packed schedule, he and his wife Lisa welcomed Susie and I into their lives. That openness changed us, and we remain deeply grateful for their friendship.

From tme to time I've reflected on that moment and have had to ask myself Are you too busy to allow another person or new experience into your life? It’s a question worth pondering. Life moves fast—work, family, errands, and endless to-do lists can fill every crevice of our days. It’s easy to say, “I don’t have time for new friends” or “I’ll try that new hobby later.” But what if “later” never comes? What if the cost of busyness is missing out on connections and experiences that could enrich us?

Henry could’ve brushed us off. He had every excuse—his plate was full. Yet, he chose to make space, and that choice sparked a meaningful, lifelong friendship. It’s a reminder that life’s best moments often come when we pause and say “yes” to something new. Whether it’s a conversation with a stranger, a spontaneous adventure, or signing up for that class you’ve been eyeing, opening the door to new possibilities takes courage. It means prioritizing connection over convenience and growth over routine.

So, here’s the challenge: take stock of your life. Are you too busy to let someone new in? Too swamped to try something different? If so, maybe it’s time to carve out a little space. Say hello to that coworker you’ve never really talked to. Book that weekend hike. Invite someone to coffee. Like Henry, you might find that making room for others—or for new experiences—brings unexpected joy. Life’s too short to let busyness block the beauty of what’s waiting. 

Related Link

Henry is a professional pianist and founder of Quiet Heart Music.

www.quietheartmusic.com

 

Intrigue and Illusion in War-Torn Vienna: Graham Greene's The Third Man

I discovered Graham Greene through a somewhat unusual path. I was on a quest to see all of Orson Welles' films. This proved to be an impossible task, but it did introduce me to a number of fine films, one of them being The Third Man, starring Welles along with Joseph Cotton, Trevor Howard and Alida Valli. I have never tired of the film with its Graham Greene DNA. 

Compelling plots, complex characters and atmospheric settings are all hallmarks of Graham Greene's novels. Recurring storylines revolve around universal themes--betrayal, corruption, moral failure, dignity, faith and redemption. 

While researching for this review, I learned that Greene himself had experience in the film industry previous to seeing his books translated to the silver screen. He worked as a film critic and wrote screenplays, which gave him an understanding of the cinematic medium and connections within the industry. (Ah, connections!) His experiences undoubtedly made it easier for his works to transition to film.

He was also one of several British writers who served in the British Secret Service (M6). This experience provided a level of authenticity to his writing. [Other well-known authors who were spies include Somerset Maugham, John LeCarre and Ian Fleming, creator of what is now the James Bond franchise.]

* * *

Graham Greene's novella The Third Man is a moral labyrinth as complex as the underground waterways of its setting, post-World War II Vienna. First published in 1949, it's a gripping tale of intrigue, deceit, and moral ambiguity. The story revolves around Rollo Martins, a hack writer of pulp Westerns, who arrives in the war-torn city at the invitation of his childhood friend, Harry Lime, superbly played by Welles in the film. Upon his arrival, however, Martins learns that Lime has been recently killed in a mysterious car accident.

Martins's initial grief quickly turns to suspicion when he hears inconsistencies in the various accounts of Lime's death. Determined to uncover the truth, Martins embarks on an investigation that leads him through the divided and corrupt city, encountering a host of intriguing characters, including the enigmatic Baron Kurtz and the weary British police officer, Major Calloway.

The novella masterfully captures the atmosphere of Vienna, a city struggling to recover from the devastation of war. Greene’s depiction of the bombed-out buildings, the black market dealings, and the pervasive sense of distrust and desperation adds a layer of realism and tension to the narrative. The setting is not just a backdrop but a character in its own right, reflecting the fractured and morally complex world in which the story unfolds.

As Martins delves deeper into the mystery of his friend's death, he discovers that Lime, far from being the innocent victim he imagined, was an illegal racketeer selling diluted penicillin on the black market, resulting in numerous deaths. This revelation forces Martins to confront the stark difference between the idealized image of his friend and the harsh reality of his criminal activities.

The novella's title refers to the elusive "third man" who was reportedly seen at the scene of Lime’s accident but whose identity remains unknown. This mystery propels the plot forward and symbolizes the hidden layers of truth that Martins must uncover.

The character of Harry Lime, charming yet deeply flawed, embodies the blurred lines between good and evil. Martins' disillusionment and loss of innocence resonates with readers and film buffs alike.

In the end, The Third Man is not just a thrilling mystery but a profound commentary on human nature and the consequences of moral compromise. Greene's vivid prose and intricate plotting keeps the pages turning, leaving readers to ponder the complexities of friendship in a world marked by chaos and uncertainty.

Friends Are the Sunshine of Life

Life is hard. That's why we shouldn't go it alone.

"A friend is one who knows us, but loves us anyway."
~Fr. Jerome Cummings

"Remember, the greatest gift is not found in a store nor under a tree, but in the hearts of true friends."

~Cindy Lew

Who finds a faithful friend, finds a treasure.

~Jewish Saying

"Your friend is the man who knows all about you, and still likes you."
~Elbert Hubbard

"Who finds a faithful friend, finds a treasure."
~Jewish saying

What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two bodies.

~Aristotle

Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow.
Don't walk behind me, I may not lead.
Just walk beside me and be my friend.

~Albert Camus

"The only way to have a friend is to be one."
~Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Hold a true friend with both your hands."

~Nigerian Proverb

"Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for awhile and leave footprints on our hearts. And we are never, ever the same."

~Anonymous

"Friends are like melons; shall I tell you why?
To find one good you must one hundred try."

~Claude Mermet

"Friendship needs no words..."
~Dag Hammarskjold.

"Friends are the sunshine of life."
~John Hay (1871)

One of the most illuminating passages on friendship that I've ever read is the chapter on Philia from C.S. Lewis' volume The Four Loves. Here are a few gems. You may also visit this Goodreads page, which displays several more.

“Friendship ... is born at the moment when one man says to another "What! You too? I thought that no one but myself . . .”  (EdNote: This is how Keith Richards' friendship with Mick Jagger began.)

“Eros will have naked bodies; Friendship naked personalities.”

“People who bore one another should meet seldom; people who interest one another, often.”

Thank you, friends, for all your encouragement and kindnesses. Have a wonderful day. Friends are indeed the sunshine of life.

Friends

Thoughts on friendship...

"A friend is one who knows us, but loves us anyway."
~Fr. Jerome Cummings

"Remember, the greatest gift is not found in a store nor under a tree, but in the hearts of true friends."

~Cindy Lew

Who finds a faithful friend, finds a treasure.

~Jewish Saying

"Your friend is the man who knows all about you, and still likes you."
~Elbert Hubbard

"Who finds a faithful friend, finds a treasure."
~Jewish saying

What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two bodies.

~Aristotle

Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow.
Don't walk behind me, I may not lead.
Just walk beside me and be my friend.

~Albert Camus

"The only way to have a friend is to be one."
~Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Hold a true friend with both your hands."

~Nigerian Proverb

"Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for awhile and leave footprints on our hearts. And we are never, ever the same."

~Anonymous

"Friends are like melons; shall I tell you why?
To find one good you must one hundred try."

~Claude Mermet

"Friendship needs no words..."
~Dag Hammarskjold.

"Friends are the sunshine of life."
~John Hay (1871)

Thank you, friends, for all your encouragement and kindnesses. Have a wonderful day. Friends are indeed the sunshine of life.

Lost Friends

Those early years we often don’t fully appreciate our friendships. I moved away from Maple Heights, Ohio and never really stayed in touch with anyone. Our lives move forward into a new trajectory… and we meet new people.

But as we get older, and begin to understand ourselves a bit, we are less haphazard in our friendships. We begin to seek out like minded people with values or interests similar to ours. It takes time. New interests or changes in geography test these friendships. And as we are flung forward by fate and circumstances, and choices, for better or worse, we disconnect and reconnect with many people of greater or lesser influence upon us.

Unfortunately, like the Robert Frost poem about two roads diverging, many of the wonderful people who were once part of our lives get left behind. Occasionally it is due to our own neglect, or failure to value those treasured people.

As we get older, we value the good in others more deeply, especially when there are those rare connections that seem like true gifts. But it is with great pain and dismay that I remember all the really special people whom I failed to value, and even sometimes hurt through my own insensitivity and self-centeredness.

Here’s a song about old friends by Dylan from his second album, The Freewhelin’ Bob Dylan. As I listen to it again I am impressed at the maturity he demonstrated in these early songs.

Bob Dylan’s Dream
by Bob Dylan, in a tone most mournful…

While riding on a train goin' west,
I fell asleep for to take my rest.
I dreamed a dream that made me sad,
Concerning myself and the first few friends I had.

With half-damp eyes I stared to the room
Where my friends and I spent many an afternoon,
Where we together weathered many a storm,
Laughin' and singin' till the early hours of the morn.

By the old wooden stove where our hats was hung,
Our words were told, our songs were sung,
Where we longed for nothin' and were quite satisfied
Talkin' and a-jokin' about the world outside.

With haunted hearts through the heat and cold,
We never thought we could ever get old.
We thought we could sit forever in fun
But our chances really was a million to one.

As easy it was to tell black from white,
It was all that easy to tell wrong from right.
And our choices were few and the thought never hit
That the one road we traveled would ever shatter and split.

How many a year has passed and gone,
And many a gamble has been lost and won,
And many a road taken by many a friend,
And each one I've never seen again.

I wish, I wish, I wish in vain,
That we could sit simply in that room again.
Ten thousand dollars at the drop of a hat,
I'd give it all gladly if our lives could be like that.

If you have a friend whom you have known all your life since grade school, I consider you most blessed. If you have a friend whom you have not stayed in touch with because you moved away, get back in touch… and promise to meet again some day.

Mentors

One should never underestimate the role of mentors in helping one's career obtain a good trajectory.

Back in the early eighties I was a beginning writer trying to figure out how the real world works. I had just returned from a year in Mexico working at an orphanage. I felt a certain sense of calling as a writer and therefore worked hard to develop my skills, but could not figure out how to plug them in. Through the process of of participation in a writers group I managed to connect with another writer who, like myself, was searching to move his work to a higher level. This other writer was ten years ahead of me, made his living as a writer in a major corporation, and understood much more than I about the business world.

Ours was a fateful friendship. John Prin helped me navigate those early steps toward publication. A few years down the road my wife and I left the Twin Cities and headed to Duluth. John again helped me in a critical way to present my published work in the most professional manner possible. After a relatively short time pounding the pavement up north I landed a position using my writing, with an opportunity to further develop my skills.

To this day John has played a role in my life, as friend and confidant. At key junctures, he helped me navigate challenging waters.

Perhaps you're a young person with challenges you're not quite sure how to handle. Perhaps your career is floundering. My recommendation is to find a mentor, someone who has been there and understands the terrain your traversing. And someone who will take an active interest in your life and career.

Or maybe you're someone who has accomplished things, have achieved a measure of success, and need to turn around and look back down the ladder. There are many bright and talented young people who could use a helping hand. These are our future leaders, influencers, world changers. We have received much, let's be sure we give back.

Thanks, John, for having been there for me. Good luck as you keep pressing into those dreams to fulfill your purpose for the second half of your life.