Anarchy and Revolution

E.L. Doctorow's Welcome to Hard Times is a vivid portrait of the early days of our wild west, when lawmen were scarce and unbridled lawlessness had its way. A small town is ravaged, and in the end ravaged again. The evil is real as is the cowardice, fear and grief.

I mention the book because of the images it paints. Set in the Old West, it could easily be a snapshot of a village in Rwanda, or Paris during its reign of terror. When law and order break down, the grim result is frightening.

Yet there are some who bought this scenario as a dream. Tear down the system and something better will emerge in its place. How that "something better" emerges is unexplained. But what is clear is that no one wants to be caught up in the midst of this kind of horror. And the more we have at stake -- homes, families -- the more we realize how utterly devastating a cultural breakdown will be. Who wants to see a spouse or child get abused, raped or tortured, to see all of one's personal belongings trashed and burned?

For this reason most people accept the slow erosion of freedoms, the increased taxation, the higher cost of living. What are our alternatives? Gratitude is one of the first things on my lips, for the family I was born into and the security I felt growing up, for a country with so much freedom within a structure of law. I have not been losing sleep over an unsettling fear that our family is endangered by marauding bands of bad men. (As soon as I write this, however, I wonder whether this is the case for some people in other parts of our nation... such as sections of South Chicago or L.A. or Philadelphia.)

We have many problems in our country, but the solution is not a teardown. Riots in the streets will not get us what we want. The feeling of powerlessness is strong out there. Making ends meet is a challenge for many and it is difficult to understand the forces behind the economic pressures most people experience. Also there is that feeling that we can't make much of a difference as we see civility deteriorating around us.

But the truth is contrary. The call to revolution should be a call for revolution within. Eliminate your inner anarchy, and you will be better suited to impact the community, and larger world, around you.

We really aren't powerless. Our future is in our hands.

Jon Winters Meets Billy Graham ~ The Interview Part 4

CONTINUED from Previous Blog Entry

JW: I’ve just finished a little book called “It’s No Fun Being a Protestant.” The Jews and the Catholics and the Muslims, ... It’s not sacrilegious. I don’t make fun of Christ. I tell people I’m a Christian. and kind of a paper mache Episcopalian.... The book starts out with my meeting Billy Graham, which really happened. And he said, as he came into the Green Room, 45 years ago,

BG’s Voice: I’m Doctor Graham. Are you who I think you are?

JW: I’m Spanky McFarland, Our Gang comedy.

BG: No, no, who are you? Aren’t you Jonathan Winters?

JW: I know who you are. You’re Dr. Billy Graham.

BG: May I ask, What are you?

JW: I’m Caucasian.

BG: I know that.

JW: No, you don’t. I have brown eyes. Our people got across the river first.

BG: Be serious. What denomination are you?

JW: That’s what you should have asked me. See, driver’s license says Caucasian, and other little items I’ve had to fill out. But what denomination? I’m Episcopalian.

BG: Let me ask you something seriously. And try to be serious. What do you find the difference between my being an evangelist and you being an Episcopalian?

JW: Now Billy, when we go to Yankee Stadium we go to see a ball game.

He didn’t get it.

And I said, when you go to Westminster Abbey, you go to a church second to St Peters. See, when your people get to second base, we’re already home.

So, that’s the book. See, to me, I really do my homework, especially writing a book like this because you’re going to offend a lot of people. But what these people have done on television seven days a week is frightening to me... that you walk up to a man who has cancer in his right arm and you say, “Jesus is going to heal you.” And two thugs, some guys from Harlan County, catch him and supposedly the cancer is gone.

I turned to a guy the other day who is re-born, and he said to me “What are you?” and I told him -- this guy with silver gray hair on CNN or something -- I said “Why don’t you come up here to the Cottage of St. Francis and heal the cancer people there?”

“We don’t do that kind of work.”

JW: It’s not a ballpark or an amphitheater. It’s sixteen kids with cancer. You’re a phony. Get out of my way, Jack.

It’s a big business. A very big business. There’s a lot of guys who are very bad cats who are sucking it in. and the poor public... these people go, wheelchairs ... I don’t know. It’s frightening.

You don’t see Jews out there coming up to my door. You don't see Catholics. Who are these people beating on my door, asking me if I accept Christ? I said to a Jehovah’s Witness, “Do you people ever salute the flag?” and they said, “No, we don’t believe in the flag.”

Get lost, Jack. I don’t need that.

It’s a lot of strange things... people yelling and screaming, going across the stage throwing the Bible up in the air... To me it’s bizarre.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
TO BE CONTINUED
Jon Winters photo courtesy Christina Bergstrom
http://www.bergstromsphotography.com/

Money

To have it is a perceived blessing, but what is it people really want? It would seem that what people want is freedom from want. Want, once experienced, creates a corrupting fear of want, and money is needed to muffle that fear.
January 14, 1998

It is interesting to think how two people can be in similar experiences, struggling to get on their feet financially, and one is comfortable and confident, the other desperate. The former does interviews well when seeking employment. He or she has hope, believes things can get better. The other may come across badly because of the inner paralysis that makes conversation unnatural.

The issue in part is faith and hope.

But what about those in abject deprivation with nothing to look forward to? Some escape into alcohol or drugs or other self-destructive behaviors. And some continue to live with dignity. How and why does this happen?

In the thirties much of the generation that went through the depression were left with scars afterwards, an insecurity or fear because they experienced a measure of what it's like when the bottom drops out. Despite the wealth later accumulated, many remained anxious because of what they had been through. Even with great vaults of money some remained insecure. How much is enough?

In truth, there are no guarantees about tomorrow, so that at a certain point we have to let go. Let go of those niggling anxieties, keep moving forward and trust that we will be there to greet it when it arrives. The best way to do this is make the most of today. Avoid or pay down your debts, save for the morrow and be generous with the rest.

A World Turned On Its Head

Sometimes it just seems like life isn't fair. "Crime Pays." So it said on the front page of our local newspaper a number of years ago. The story: A woman embezzles $37,000. The judge sentences her to repay $3,000 and to remain grounded in her home for two months.

 

Wherever one turns one hears similar stories. Crime victims who have no rights. Criminals who seem to suffer no consequences for their crimes. Where is the justice in all this? 

But then, this is nothing new. 3,000 years ago the writer of Psalm 73 had been struck by a similar observation. As he looked on the prosperity of the wicked, their apparent success, their disregard for God or truth, and their mockery of heavenly things, he felt the same grief and dismay that we feel today. 

However, he did something unique. Rather than become embittered as he was tempted to be, he laid his complaint on God's doorstep and waited for an explanation. Had he been foolish to try to live a good life? No. There are rewards for those who seek to do what is right. And things aren't what they appear to be for those who choose to hurt others, to cheat, lie or steal. Their choices will have consequences, too, both in this life and in the world to come. 

 

Tonight I went to see American Gangster with Denzel Washington and Russell Crowe. Powerful movie, and if your vantage point in time is within the story, during the high times when all is going swell, you get a perspective that is not comprehensive. It is incomplete. Was Russell Crowe a fool to do what was right? The guys doing wrong sure seemed like they were the ones living the good life, both the cops on the take and the hoods on the street. But then again, in the end it always catches up with you. 

I was once involved in prison ministry. From behind bars many of these men saw quite clearly the illusory nature of the "high life" they had purchased with phony credit cards or other kinds of vice and crime. The worst of it, one man told me, is that the longer you are in it, the more difficult it becomes to get out. Often, the lifestyles we are attracted to have been bought with a price. We would do well to note the rest of the story. Things are not always what they first appear to be.

Existence

We are at the cabin. Getting organized was hectic... Cleaning, straightening, filling boxes for the move. I keep reminding myself I have a screen play to finish, but in reality I am not in that mode, attracted to other projects with quick results and no commercial value. Doodles. What I long for, if the truth were known, is the freedom to spend the rest of my life doodling.

Absolutely beautiful here. The lake is still, placid, at rest. A hot humid day across the Northland has been invaded by cloud cover along with promises of rain. The restlessless of this place is a gift which I deeply appreciate.

The fact that we exist is so remarkable, yet we take it for granted, as we do beauty, breath and life. What does it mean, "to live"? I exist... this is no accident.
August 26, 1993

When we were raising our young family, one book that really made an impact on us was Let's Make a Memory. Vacations were especially valuable for making memories and Twin Points Resort, now gone, proved to be just such a resource for us with its quaint cabins directly on the shore of the world's largest inland body of water, Lake Superior.

Many great moments, hours of reflection, and a time to cherish the gift of life.

No Guarantees

Quitters never win, and winners never quit.

That's the way it is. Without persistence, we are guaranteed to fail. The reverse, however, isn't necessarily true. Sometimes we persist, we finish the race, and yet we don't get the prize. This can be a hard nut to swallow.

A verse in the Old Testament book of Ecclesiates states, "The race is not to the swift or the battle to the strong... but time and chance happen to them all." (Eccles. 9:11) The verse gives us a much needed reminder that things don't always work out. That's reality.

For example, there are no guarantees that if I say all the right things I will "close the deal" in business. Or get the job. Nor am I guaranteed to win the big race at the track meet if I prepare better this year than last. Nor am I guaranteed to become a famous novelist by writing lots of books. In all of these examples there are many factors outside of our control. Illness, strong competition, a death in the family, a car accident, even death - the list of things outside our control is limitless. As we all know, none of us is God. We are finite creatures with limited capabilities.

Nevertheless, there is one thing that is within our control. We can choose to give up, to quit, or we can choose to keep going. The one who quits pursuing his dream is certain never to reach it. The one who keeps going, who persists, will find that his dream inspires and strengthens him. And whether he reaches his dreams or whether he doesn't, he will be an inspiration to others to go after their own dreams.

Words

A while back I read a book on advertising in which the author noted that words do not have meaning until we invest them with meaning. That is, words do not have meaning in themselves, but are just a shell that the hearer fills with meaning.

This idea immediately intrigued me for a couple reasons. First, because it explains why sometimes we say things and other people don’t know where we are coming from. Try describing New York City skyscrapers to people in East Africa who have never seen a two story hut. And what does "love" look like to people who today for whom the word love is only a sex act?

We say a word, and people hear something different than what we mean. The word Conservative is highly loaded these days. For some it means “family values” whereas for others it means narrow-minded bigots who (if they had their way) would become jack-booted, freedom-stealing fascists. To some the word Liberal means compassionate people who care for the less fortunate, and to others the word means anti-American, anti-business, tree-hugging communist or idealistic airhead.

The point is, we say a word, and it can be invested with a range of different meanings by the hearer. Words are like triggers that awaken meanings in the mind, often with a lot of emotional baggage attached.

Take the word God, for example. For many Christians this is far more than a word. It is the Almighty Creator, Yahweh, the high and holy one, awesome in power, who humbled Himself to die in shame to conquer death and make a way for us to be part of His great family. But if you say “God” in some circles, it means “a concept by which weak people comfort themselves.” Or perhaps a concept by which certain cynical people manipulate manipulate the masses and oppress others.

How are we to communicate in this world where words have become so divested of meaning? Think about it. What do you do when words no longer have any meaning? How do we reach people? How do we help meet needs or make a difference if we can’t use words?

The answer is ever the same: our lives are a book read by all. Our deeds communicate, even when words fail.

Let's not give up on words, but let's also remember that nothing speaks louder than our actions. When our words and deeds correspond, only then will we make a difference in this world.

Woody Allen

Reading portions of Woody Allen’s book Side Effects & reflecting on his movies. Allen addresses and incorporates the serious questions of life & meaning, and while making humor/jokes, etc. Although some find it irreverent, is he not, at least, raising the questions? The “heavy question” or “profound thought” is a regular feature of his humor, as are his countless references to classic literature.

Perhaps this is the only way modern man can toy with these ideas. Allen, then, is the genius who has managed, more successfully than many preachers, to confront modern man with a true sense of his situation. Why am I here? Why do we do the things we do?
August 1, 1993

A few Woody Allen quotes to give a taste of his flavor:

"Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it."

"If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank."

"Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons."

"I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown."

"It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune."

"There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?"

"I'm not afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens."

"I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear."

Two Questions

1. If you could re-live one experience over and over again any time you wanted, what would that experience be?

2. If you could re-live one day of your life and do it differently, what day would it be and what would you do different?

One old man's replies:

To question #1: The experience of capturing, in a half dozen lines of poetic verse, the essence of my life.

To question #2: There is nothing I would change, for I am not certain whether it was the joys or the sorrows, the successes or the failures, that enabled me to assemble the words and phrases of which this poem was composed.

July 18, 1993

The first question in this journal entry led directly to my concept for The M Zone, a short story which I shared on my website and which later became a screen play for a short film.

To read The M Zone, visit: http://www.enewman.biz/mzone.html

How to Teach Writing to Young People

A few years ago I had the privilege of participating in a workshop for coaches of youth soccer led by Buzz Lagos, head coach of the Minnesota Thunder, a professional soccer team. Coach Lagos showed us all kinds of neat games that we could have our kids play to help them learn basic skills. It was a fun experience and one in which I learned a lot.

At the end of the evening he conducted a highly informative question and answer period. One attendee asked a key question that has across the board applications for all teachers or instructors. He asked “What skill level should we be expecting eight and ten year old soccer players to be at?” The answer surprised me, but then made perfect sense. Coach Lagos replied, “You should not even be thinking about skill levels at that age. What you want is for every child to learn the rules and enjoy the game.”

The coach’s reply demonstrated his love for the game. Buzz Lagos also showed a deep understanding that if the children do not enjoy playing, they will not apply themselves to mastering its fundamental skills. Instead of laying heavy expectations on eight and ten year old kids, let them simply have fun. (This was how I developed my skills in baseball as a boy, and later as a young artist.)

I believe this is exactly what our children need when it comes to learning basic skills like reading and writing. If we can somehow foster a love of reading, and an enjoyment creative self-expression with words, we have done a remarkable thing. To give our children a love of learning, a love of reading, and the enjoyment of self-expression through writing and art... what a wonderful gift!

I may be wrong, but I have always believed that children are filled with an innate desire to learn, to create, to explore, and to express themselves. In other words, they begin life with natural motivation. Our role, then, is not to attempt to motivate, but rather to avoid quenching this natural motivation. Here’s an example of how to kill the love of reading. Recently, my wife was at someone’s home when an argument erupted between the two children regarding what to watch on television. The father, infuriated, resolved the matter by punishing the one in the following manner: “Go upstairs and read a book.” Yikes! Reading as punishment is hardly the way to foster a love of reading!

Perhaps one day I will finish my book of exercises for training young people to become better and more interesting writers. In the meantime, take these words to heart. If your children have a passion for self-expression, whether through art, music or the written word, rejoice. Encourage. And worry about technique later. You never know where it will lead.

Yes, Deer

A few shots from my front yard tonight.

Nature and books belong to the eyes that see them. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Markings

"We cannot afford to forget any experience, not even the most painful." ~ Dag Hammarskjold

Hammarskjold was the first Secretary-General of the United Nations. His book, Markings, is a collection of notes, poems, philosophical musings, insights on life and the challenges of being human in the modern world.

I discovered Hammarskjold in June 1993. Of his book I wrote in my own journal, "an honest, deep 'picking at the scabs' trying to understand the mysteries of injury and healing, pain and meaning. And good writing, too." And later I referred to it as a "treasure chest filled with gold pieces."

Here are two more "gold pieces" for today from Hammarskjold:

"Never look down to test the ground before taking your next step: only he who keeps his eye fixed on the far horizon will find his right road."

"Never measure the height of a mountain, until you have reached the top. Then you will see how low it was."

Thank you Mr. Hammarskjold for your service to humanity and for having shared this book of deeply personal and profound insights.

All the Old Cliches Are True

"It seems to me that when a writer at last finds an outlet for his work -- has a channel into which he can pour himself -- it matters very little, from that time on, what he is going through, whether he is happy or sad, healthy or ill. Rather, he lives for his work, for others, to be poured out, to fulfill his reason for being." June 24, 1993

These words were penned the year I had my first book assignment and was simultaneously doing a screenplay call The Extras, while working full time. The two projects tested my time management skills to the limit, but the experience proved highly rewarding on several levels.

I would venture to say that most of us live at a lower level of accomplishment than we are capable of. Set high goals, and then take action. All the old cliches are true. Rome was not built in a day; the journey of a thousand miles begins with one step. The cumulative efforts of small daily achievements can really add up. When you look back, it may even one day astound you.

The One True Measure

WE MEASURE OUR LIVES BY ONE TRUE MEASURE: OUR PROXIMITY -- FAR OR NEAR, DAY BY DAY, YEAR BY YEAR -- TO OUR HEART'S TREASURE.

Predictability and Determinism

"Radio talk show host Larry King was taking calls about God yesterday. He could not accept the notion that God knows the future, yet does not control us. That is, if God knows what I am going to do, how can I do otherwise? Like most people, Mr. King stumbles where Reason fails. The idea of Mystery is lost to modern man. Everything, supposedly, should make sense, should be explainable."
May 6, 1993

It's interesting to stumble upon this journal note this a.m. because last Friday evening in our philosophy club we gave attention to this very discussion. We have been listening to a series of lectures called The Great Ideas of Philosophy, and this month's lecture was on Augustine. Augustine injected an intellectual vigor back into the early church. Noting that although God cannot be perceived or achieved via Reason, the notion of God is not inconsistent with Reason or unreasonable.

At one point, the matter which Larry King struggled with was addressed. Dr. Robinson, the lecturerer, illustrated how it is possible for predictability to not be determinism. In other words, God can know the future without making it happen.

The reality is, that if the will were not free, we'd have a new dilemma: how can I be accountable for what I do?

It is fascinating to wrestle with these issues. Occassionally they result in some spirited debates. The quest for truth and meaning are worthy pursuits. Ultimately, we are seeking a basis for hope, a hope that is real and does not disappoint us.

"Squeezing life to wring out from it all I can take from each day."
May 18, 1993

On Becoming a Writer

“The first foundation of writing is not the words or the message, but the writer him-or-herself. The writer is a messenger who must begin by being worthy of the message. Anything less is false. This is what it means to find one’s voice.”

One of the great things about blogging is that it allows would-be writers to develop their craft. My first definition of a writer was: "One who writes." It is not, "One who knows how to write." Writers write. Musicans make music. Artists make art. A poet who does not write poetry is not a poet, he's a poser and an imposter.

Anyways, kudos to all who have immersed themselves in the activity of blogging. Blogging is about communication and communication is an important skill in society. Whether the public sector or the private sector, learning how to put your nebulous ideas in clear, concise language is a must for success. Use your blogging to improve this skill... and to find your voice. Who knows? You might just change the world.

The Harp of Burma

Finished watching The Harp of Burma (Biruma no tategoto) last night. Moving story of a Japanese soldier in Burma at the end of World War Two & the events that lead him to become a priest. During an early scene in the movie we see he is a sensitive man to begin with. In his last words to his comrades (who are returning to Japan) he states that he has committed himself to burying the dead and comforting those who are suffering.

Like the hero of this film we find ourselves in a broken world. We, too, must comfort our fellow sufferers.
June 24, 1993

Around 1990 or so my wife and I befriended a street person named Robert Lookup who lived in Duluth's Seaway Hotel. His life consisted primarily of watching movies and visiting the library. When I had first met him, he showed me the fruit of a major project he had undertaken. Robert was a lover of trains. Combining this passion with his love of movies, he had committed himself to watching every movie in the library and rating it based on the accuracy of its presentation of the trains therein.

For example, an Abbott and Costello film received demerits because while the story took place in Florida, on the wall was a Pennsylvania Railroad calendar. This would never happen, he emphatically stated. In retrospect, I would venture that no other movie goer of our generation ever noticed this faux pas.

I mention Robert because of his special love of obscure films with dark themes. The Harp of Burma was such a film, flowing over the screen with its tragic tale of a sensitive man awakened to the real horror of war. Without Robert's urging I would no doubt have never viewed this moving film. Robert was a sensitive man himself who no doubt identified with the hero.

As we read today's headlines, we understand that our 21st century world is no rose garden. It is a world littered with sorrows, with hurting people who need a message of hope. Let's commit ourselves to being part of the solution, and not part of the problem.

Untitled Excerpt from a Longer Story

"At first he thought everyone was like him, but the puzzled look on a friend's face when he remarked on his emptiness told him he was mistaken and convinced him forever that an individual must not differ from his species." ~ Jorge Luis Borges

A Brief Transaction

Standing outside in the misty dark, Jess felt unusually quiet. A rusty pipe propped open the door of the tin shed, its butt end digging into the gravel driveway. The single dim bulb in the shed revealed a green John Deere and the dusty clutter of four decades -- old car bumpers, boxes of paper, pitchfork, rusted garden tools and engine parts. The haze made the whole scene appear fuzzy and colorless as if draped in a shroud of gauze. Only the green John Deere reflected any color, sitting in a cleared space in the midst of, but seemingly detached from, the labyrinth of rubble. Hank Denmark stood alongside the rear wheel of the tractor, his cap pulled snug over his brow.

"It's got to get more gas!" he shouted to Stanley Ross, who had climbed up into the tractor's seat and was now attempting to disengage the clutch. Stanley pulled the stick up, and then back part way.

"It needs more oil here," Stan said.

Hank told him why it had to be stiff like that, and stepped back as the engine turned over, the old John Deer lurching backward with a heave. Stan quickly cut it off. "This thing's dangerous!" he laughed, dropping down now from the green behemoth.

Jess looked across the way to a streetlamp softly diffusing its light through the evening fog. The thickness of the moist misty night made everything seem strange. Hank and Stan seemed different, too. Their bodies seemed thicker, bulkier, more real.

Hank and Stan closed their business with the tractor and shuffled out of the shed. Hank turned out the light.

Over by the truck Hank asked a question about a guy who had recently returned to town who was now divorced. Jess continued watching and listening as the two men talked on, standing in the shadow of Stan's box-shaped truck. A loudspeaker was blaring from some remote distance, but not enough to distract from the story Stan was telling.

After a while, Hank said, "Let's go in the house." The temperature had been dropping quickly.

The three went inside, but feeling awkward and alone, Jess said goodnight and stepped back out again. It will always be this way, he thought to himself as he walked back up the drive toward the barn and trailer. Like Kara, he also had somehow ceased to exist. In some indefinable way he was a phantom. Folding his arms across his chest he shivered against the cold.

e. newman ~ 1981

Image at top of page: Self Portrait with Blue Eyes

Definition of a Classic

"A book that never finishes what it has to say." ~ Italo Calvino

There are two ways a book can keep speaking. One is to be so dense with meaning that it keeps adding to our understanding with each new reading because we ourselves have aged and keep seeing it with new eyes. A second way is for the book to never cease from continuing.

Isn't that what blogging is to some extent? A personal living expression in words and images, ongoing and ever continuing. When you cease to be enriched, you're free to turn away. The best books, and best blogs, keep us coming back for more, knowing that we will get a satisfying return on the investment of our time.

Quotes About Books

Show me the books he loves and I shall know the man far better than through mortal friends. ~ Dawn Adams

Of all the diversions of life, there is none so proper to fill up its empty spaces as the reading of useful and entertaining authors. ~ Joseph Addison

Reading is a basic tool in the living of a good life. ~ Mortimer J. Adler

You don't have to burn books to destroy a culture. Just get people to stop reading them. ~ Ray Bradbury

There are worse crimes than burning books. One of them is not reading them. ~ Joseph Brodsky

Read on, brothers and sisters. Read on!